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Affirm the WORD

Imagine, Inspire, Believe...

A Walk through the Word

An ongoing series of things I learned in the Word


June 28 2021

…and forgive us our sins as we have forgiven those who sin against us. Matthew 6:12

When a paralyzed man was brought to the foot of Jesus in Matthew 9:2 he said to the man “Be encouraged, my child! Your sins are forgiven.” Before he died on the cross for sin, sin was already forgiven. But still the world needed his blood. Later in verse 12:31 He says every sin and blasphemy can be forgiven- except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, which will never be forgiven.”

Blasphemy is defined as the act or offense of speaking sacrilegiously about God or sacred things. Profane talk. In Greek to slander. For me the Holy Spirit represents the wisdom of the Word. The wisdom of His Word. So anyone who mocks this wisdom. Scoffs at it, is in danger, in danger of being a fool for thinking they don’t need God. I know that when I didn’t know His Word I still knew what was right and wrong but chose not to pay attention to it. I reaped the consequences in my life for the things I did that were wrong. Because even in the Word it says you cannot mock the justice of God. Galatians 6:7

When wrong was done to me. I justified the wrong I had done. Blaming others for my inequities. Like my ancestor long before me when Adam who blamed Eve for his reasons for doing what was wrong in Genesis 3:12. Or like Cain in Genesis 4 who could justify killing Abel because by comparison his offering was greater causing God to reject his own. What if there was a better calf, a fatter calf that Cain could have offered the LORD but chose to hold back, keep for himself. The day that greed was born. Perhaps God knew this had nothing to do with what Abel gave but Cain looked directly at him and disregarded his own lack. By comparison his only defense was to hide his lack of trust in God. Was he so different from his parents who also took, wanting more. Not content with what they had? I understand no amount is too large or small for God as long as it is the best you have is what I have been taught in the widows offering in Mark 12:42 her two small coins was more than those who gave even more because she gave all that she had. Talk about trusting in the LORD.

I was watching a documentary the other day about a psychologist who interviews death row inmates. And it said in a sense people who grow up to do wrong were not born this way they were made. We breed a society where differences are frowned upon. We make people afraid of being themselves. We teach them how to hate through our own hatred. The psychologist ends with ‘Can anyone be a murderer? I believe so. People who kill others are made not born. The more we understand the genesis of violence the harder it is to draw a line between guilt and innocence. Sanity and insanity. As human beings we struggle to cope with the need for protection, the desire for revenge, indecency, morality, to understand sometimes means to forgive. These days people are not in a very forgiving mood. Ted Bundy was right we are more fascinated by what the crime was, the gory details of it than why it was done. It is the act of sin that fascinates us. Tickles our limbic systems. No wonder people fight for seats when a crime is being committed rather than respond they want to view it. Is that part why I do what I do, perhaps, I wouldn’t be surprised.’

When she said this I immediately thought of Hebrews 12:24 You have come to Jesus, the one who mediates the new covenant between God and people, and to the sprinkled blood, which speaks of forgiveness instead of crying out for vengeance like the blood of Abel. And yet even this sin could still be forgiven, he suffered the consequence but again God still protected him.

You were blameless in all you did from the day you were created until the day evil was found in you. Ezekiel 28:15

Can I pinpoint the exact sin in my life that lead me to this life wrought with immorality, indecency, that made me to believe I was unlike everyone else. That my difference was impurity. The moment fear enveloped me and protection from those who were meant to love me was taken from me. When men sought to do harm to me that made it okay in me to inflict harm on others because of what was done to me. Or was it the day that I learned to find satisfaction in something that wasn’t God. To please my flesh in such a way that I could get it to relax drift away. In sexual sin, in a bottle, in a drug, in an act of anger in the fits of rage.

For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. 1 Corinthians 15:56

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23

Dying every day since that day. To myself. To this creature of instinct. I could place blame on everyone and everything for becoming what my life represented, death. Easily find every person in my family that came before I was made the wage I paid to become. Jesus said in Luke 17:1 There will always be temptation to sin but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting. I made up my mind one day that Jesus paid the penalty for all the things I did because the moment I refuse to believe otherwise will result in a wage I can’t afford to pay. People see death as finality. But someone can be dead while still being very much alive. I stand before you today as a child who can count the times on one hand I have seen my biological father, have spoken to him. I am dead to him even though he is a priest, I am his sin, a reminder of his unfaithfulness to my mother, his own adultery. Yet still Jesus calls him forgiven I have to live as though he is because to try to get back the years stolen, the years he didn’t give a damn what happened to me is a burden Christ also carried on the cross.

What do I gain by holding onto to vengeance and hate, what power is there in that? Only weakness can be found. I cannot begin to understand the ways and thoughts of God. Perhaps God saw that by his influence I would not become who I became. Following a false teaching. Being led astray. Instead I lived my younger years under a heavy hand guided by harsh discipline and punishment no child should be subject to. Because of this upbringing I sought to do more in my life than I had ever done even if the price of discipline was at a cost. God turned what was meant for my harm it into a skill of perseverance, endurance and strength. I knew that I could separate myself from the comfort of what my flesh desired because I was trained to do so at an early age.

And even then God knew that I would be without my mother at an early age he set the plan into place to remove the grip from my step fathers strong hand permanently. But still the scars remained. I look back with grace and can see how the events of ones life can lead to the outcomes of ones doing.

I have a nephew, my brothers son who grew up unwanted, he was taught that his life had no meaning, no value so when he and his friend didn’t think twice to take what wasn’t theirs to take by force in order to be set free of the life they were given it cost both the mans life and their own. And even still I know that he is forgiven. He could blame the way he was raised, his absent father, his unloving mother, his sexually and physically abusive grandfather or the friend who convinced him to commit the crime in order to fit in, be loved and accepted in a world that didn’t accept or love him from birth and still nothing would change. So even a broken justice system needs to be forgiven.

‘To understand means to forgive.’ The psychologist said. To that I would add to live as though you are forgiven, because that is the only way I can live with the life I was assigned to carry in spite of holding onto the belief there was a better way perhaps this was God’s best for me in order to get me to where I became.

Like John the Baptist in prison in Matthew 11, I had my doubts about a God who could save. I had my doubts about a Savior who could stop the pain. He had a message sent to John in verse 5 and 6 the blind see- I didn’t see that God was with me the way he was with Cain in spite of all he had done protection and provision still followed him all the days of his life as they followed me.

The lame walk- my life could very well have resulted in me not doing anything. Choosing to stay as I was. Blaming my past hurts and pains on why I couldn’t move on, paralyzed by my pain but instead I choose to get up from it and walk toward a future hope I couldn’t imagine for myself only knew where I was I didn’t want to remain. I had a choice to get up.

The dead are raised to life- the way I was raised I was given a dead life, nothing in it gave life or hope to anyone. I was taught to survive because everyone was out to hurt me from the start, to take my life. So I turned my life to God at 39 I gave it to Him to raise me. I made the decision to live as though He truly was my Father and I had no other. He raised me to a new life.

The good news is being preached to the poor- and the good news was He did. My life is shared among many. Some might say their survival guide. He adopted me as His own. I call Jesus my brother because we have the same Father born of Spirit not of flesh. I know this flesh all too well it resulted in my death. But through the life of Jesus the way he lived I have life in it. I have a life in Him.

And God blesses those who don’t turn away because of me-on the cross Jesus forgave my sins. He forgave every one of the 10 commandments written in stone and the ones I created that weren’t even on the list. By His suffering He forgave every time I committed each sin not once in my life, multiple times. And even more so than that He forgave everyone who sinned against me. He didn’t stop it, he didn’t remove it, he didn’t prevent the wrong that was done to me. He simply forgave them so that I could be forgiven for the things I did in vengeance in retaliation. Like Adam I could easily say to God I sinned because of the men you gave to me. Or like Abel I could deny my wrong because of those who came before me but instead because of Jesus I can live forgiven I can't turn away from that, it is the only way I live.         

A Righteous Story

June 12 2021

I was listening to a song the other day called Write Your Story by Francesca Battistelli and I thought to myself it sounded a lot like “righteous story” I began to think that when His story becomes my story it is a righteous story. When the story in my mind is connects to my heart and my soul of who He created me to be. I am no longer the victim in this tale the victor emerges from the ashes.

In the last few weeks I watched our house crumble from the weight of a storm. I saw sparrows feasting in the rain before building up the courage to take down the giant that defied my LORD. I walked in silence around the Jericho wall of hostility I know well that my brother, Jesus had already torn down. I waited for the wisdom of God before I took the wisdom of this world. And as is true to His word he didn’t speak till I shared Matthew 13:12 Mark 4:24-25, Luke 8:18. As I explained to my husband why would God give you more understanding when you don’t share what He has already given. What good is the Good News if not meant to be shared, God gives wisdom to share not to keep for oneself. 1 Corinthians 7:25. Now taking the next 52 days give or take at the least to rebuild the wall that was washed away. Just another week in the life of us.

The house that was built on sand was none other than my other half. He heard the same Word I did at church and Sunday messages. We even shared the same devotionals daily but when the storm hit us both it became obvious he didn’t apply the Word to his life. As he crumbled under the weight of the situation with frustration and confusion. Just like the story of the two men that built their house one on rock the other on sand. Matthew 7:24-27

I didn’t have the answer right away but I knew that getting upset wouldn’t change anything either. I remained standing waiting on the wisdom of God to help us out. Tell me what to do God. How to figure this out. The story of Elijah 1 Kings 19:11-12 taught me that I am not going to hear God huffing and puffing like a windstorm, he isn’t going to be in what shook the ground like an earthquake or in the raging anger of a fire. I needed to calm my mind and heart in order to hear the gentle whisper.

The emotions may have come like waves but Christ taught me how to control the waves Matthew 8:23-27 Mark 4:35-41 Luke 8:22-25. Silence! Be still! I said to the wind of my racing thoughts and they subsided therefore calming the ocean of my emotional sea of distress but my husband did not. He let them roar, he let them get out of control till he had no control of the emotions overwhelming him and so he drowned die to lack of self control. Proverbs 5:23 Job 36:12

Just when I thought the worst was over a different man approached that seem like my husband. He attacked me with anger and rage that could only be described as Satan himself of all places in a church parking lot. For what you might ask? Hitting the back tire of my car on a curb when I tried to turn the car around. He didn’t care that he was on holy ground or that he was speaking to Gods own daughter. All I could say was Wow, I see who you really are. This wasn’t my husband I was talking to this was the enemy himself. As soon as we returned home I got ready and left without so much as a goodbye because if anything my ancestor Eve taught me you don’t speak to snakes, you crush them underfoot. My brother Jesus taught me in 1 Peter 2:23 retaliating wouldn’t change what he had done a battle to big for me to fight that was going to be between he and God.

I fled to my sanctuary, my place of refuge to get away from the hardened parts of this world with its brick and concrete walls, black top I needed a minute to figure out how to repay evil 1 Peter 3:9. My thought was to humble myself in silence, give in to what it wants. I wept overwhelmed by the tumults of wave of emotions that flooded my mind. Than a courage rose up this wasn’t the first time but it would certainly be the last time he handles things as a man. The Spirit of David rising up “how could this mere man defy the living God. Yell, curse, throw things hard enough to break them on the ground and slam a door to prove what exactly? That he had the power and might to destroy me? Why make me feel small so that this giant could feel tall? The words of David rang in my ear “Who is this, that I should fear his sword, spear and javelin” 1 Samuel 17:45. I began to think I really don’t like who I become around hatred. How his anger gives me permission to lose control. God is nowhere to be found in division. He is neither friend or foe my brother Jesus is the commander of His army and He said Enough. As I sat in silence peace being my prize. I noticed sparrows darting all around. Every color red, blue and speckled. I didn’t realize they feast in the rain.

Reminding me that God prepares a feast for me in the presence of my enemies Psalm 23:5 whatever comes of this I would be alright. 

That my value and worth do not come from man, I am more valuable to God than even this whole flock of sparrows and the very hairs on my head are all numbered so I need not be afraid Matthew 10:31 and Luke 12:7. The only way to take down a wall of hostility is to walk around it in silence for seven days to be exact. Joshua 6

The next day he went to work. I built two walls in the living room so that he could sleep in semi private I placed an air mattress in the ottoman and his pillow and blanket on the couch. If he couldn’t speak to me with respect he lost the right of speaking to me at all. He could speak all he wanted but from me he would not get a response. If my presence made him so angry to sin against me than he could be without me for a little while. This is what anger, hatred reap. A house divided must fall. No sense causing him further anger and rage we are not trees, we cannot be moved. When I did speak to him it was to share Scripture as God revealed it the sword of the Spirt which is the Word of God Ephesians 6:17 was the only weapon that would win this war.

In the silence I sought God as I did every day. I stopped sharing daily devotionals with him instead the good that came from it is I now share them with my nephew in prison he could benefit even more. I began to see that was the extent of his time with God and that wasn’t saving or changing his ways. God said he needed more time with him. More than an hour. Well in 24hrs he sleeps 7 that’s 1 hour for God 16 in the world. That wasn’t going to work. He only worked 8 hours so where were the other 8 going? Commute? Getting ready? Time in this world? I wasn’t asking him to rearrange his life or even give it all away but if he was ever going to become more than the man he was 1 hour just wasn’t enough. That was clear from the start.

I suggested he find time for God. Find it while he got ready for the day. Find it while he drove into work and left for the day. Find it in the quick bathroom breaks. Any time was time well spent with God. The Holy Spirit needed more time with him. One message a week was not enough. Even God worked 6 days a week creating something different each day. Perhaps there was more to be learned. It wasn’t going to happen 52 times in 365 days. God needed more.

His fear was it would take time away from me. But anytime He gave to God he was also giving to me. See I don’t just speak to speak. If I talk I am sharing what I learned. But we all see things differently it would be nice to share how we each see the same thing differently. Iron sharpens iron but his sword was rather dull. I don’t know why I never noticed that before.

I am grateful for the wisdom of God for showing me that we were trying to build a foundation mixed with iron and clay. Daniel 2:43 Some parts were strong while others were weak. He is still perfecting us. Nothing that could break us but definitely showed us our areas of weakness. So we march on.

There is a Difference Between a Shining Star and the Morning Star

May 24, 2021

I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night- but even in darkness I cannot hide from You. To You the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to You. Psalm 139:11-12

When I lived in darkness defined as the absence of light, apart from God, separated by my sin there was not a single day in my life He didn’t show up. He was in my hot mess and my wholeness. I am surrounded by people that worship the darkness and by His Word I can testify to the truth of it.

And the judgement is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants. John 3:19-21

When I was a slave to my sin. I did it behind closed doors where I thought no one could see. I did things in private so that no one would know. I did things when the sun was down covered by the darkness of night. Why? Because that is how much I cared of what people thought of me. Who doesn’t like to be described as good, kind, funny, helpful, happy, wise, thoughtful, caring, loving. Well I was none of these when the only person I intended to serve was myself.

The other day I was reading the description of “the shining star” found in Isaiah 14:12-14 when God says of the enemy “How you are fallen from heaven, O shining star, son of the morning! You have been thrown down to the earth, you who destroyed the nations of the world. For you said to yourself, ‘I will ascend to heaven and set my throne above God’s stars. I will preside on the mountain of gods far away in the north. I will climb to the highest heavens and be like the Most High.’

Jesus is referred to as the Morning Star in 2 Peter 1:19…until the Day dawns, and Christ the Morning Star shines in your hearts. Revelation 2:28 They will have the same authority I received from my Father, and I will also give them the morning star! and 22:16 I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you this message for the churches. I am both the source of David and the heir to his throne. I am the bright morning star.

And I thought to myself there is a difference between the shining star and the morning star not just in the spiritual realm. A shining star is what I got on my papers when they were good. They served as a mark that I had done good. I had to earn the stars on my chore chart when the task was done. I didn’t get a star if the duty was not complete. A shining star is what you work for it is something you earn. As the enemy said to itself I will ascend, I will preside, I will climb so I said to myself as a child I will be successful in school/work, earn high marks/take on special projects/sell more because the world taught me if I worked hard and earned it I could climb higher and higher on the corporate ladder and make more and more money so that I can buy more things, bigger things all for myself.

Now lets look at the flipside, the closest star to us is the sun. I like how Day is capitalized in 2 Peter 1:19. And how the Sun of Righteousness is capitalized in Malachi 4:2 Just some things that make me smile to know. The morning star on the earth not the spiritual realm is the sun. It rises whether I wish it to shine or will it to shine or even hope it shines each and every day of my life.

Sometimes it is covered by clouds but I have flown enough to know it is still shining above the clouds. I don’t have to work or earn the light it simply shows up day in and day out. When it is night the surface of the moon reflects the light of the sun. The moon doesn’t give off its’ own light. It is a rock that is reflecting the source of light, the sun. The lights helps things to grow. The trees, grass and plants outside my house aren’t worried on a cloudy day, they aren’t pleading with God to allow the sun to shine on them again one day. They are at peace, at rest, with a knowing that the sun will show up.

This is how I came to know God my Father and Jesus my brother. One day I thought I was alone. That all my life I had been alone. And then one day I was aware of their presence in my life. I love my son not for anything he did to earn my love I love him because he showed up. My husband and I remain together in relationship not because he earned or deserved my love I love him because he keeps showing up. The moment my neighbor moved in next door I loved her. Not for what she did or earned. And we’ve been showing up for each other ever since. There are people God placed in my path that I loved from the first moment I met them. They having never did anything to earn my love. It was because they showed up. My love for family, friends, neighbors and people I share my life with are loved not for anything they did but because they showed up. And so it is with God.

Throughout my life darkness thought it could prevail. It tried to extinguish the light but the light kept shining, kept showing up. Whether darkness willed it to or not. He rose. He has risen. He keeps rising. Whether people look up or not. Whether it can be seen by the those who are blind and without sight and choose to walk without the light. The light keeps shining, keeps showing up. As do I.

So whatever it is relationships, gifts or talents, for everything good that makes up your life. Know that you don’t have to work or earn love, just keep showing up for it. This I have found is the key to my life. 

Crushing It

April 22 2021

Journal entry April 22, 2020 my sister tested positive for COVID. She more than likely got it from my husband who was not tested. I have been exposed for 8 days.

I have a confession to make. 8 days before this entry the desire to control others came over me. I had heard about this illness from the headlines. I am not one to sit and watch the news or read the articles. I find my time is better spent in the Word not the world so when God saw to it that it would become part of my story. I stopped sharing. Because I was so busy monitoring everyone in my house like I was an ICU nurse who lived in the emergency room. Every hour from the time I woke up till the time I went to bed for 3 weeks straight I was checking and bring fluids to my husband, then my son who I thought caught a cold. As I said I don’t watch the news so what I treated as cold/flu symptoms was greater. I pushed fluids, monitored temps hourly, administered medication, made light meal, and when each reached their limit on fluid and food consumption I allowed them to rest and let the body fight what I could not see. My son recovered within 2 days. My husband took just over a week. But my sister well if you follow my blog you know how that turned out. As for me aside from one day of explosive diarrhea I remained healthy.

I would later put the pieces of those weeks in my life together when I looked back on journal entries and find that me, my roommate and my son were all sick the first of December with a cold we couldn’t shake. We all had a cough that wouldn’t go away till February. So by April we were all exposed and immune to what swept over our house a year ago today.

As I mentioned above this would infect me with something greater than a virus it left me with an addiction to control others. In my need to “help” others I thought if I could control every action they would be okay. My husband followed my instructions for 7 days religiously so by the time my sister was commenting on the tickle in her throat he was breaking his fever and back at work again.

I am not a stranger to addiction. I battled with sexual sin for 34 years. Then misused alcohol for 3 years after to drown out the painful memories of the way I lived. The night I hit bottom I almost lost my 3 years of sexual sobriety but instead passed out naked in a hotel bathroom and woke up drowning. Only to rise and pass out in my bed and be late for a work conference. Had it not been for the grace of finding a seat in the back beside a man who battled the same addiction and later of my boss who believed in second chances I would not be here today. I replaced my addiction to numb a painful life with the Word until this day a year ago.

Truth is I didn’t have time for the Word in my life I was too busy healing the sick, raising the dead, giving the blind sight. The Word was right there but I just didn’t make time for it. I was too busy trying to survive the battles I faced in this world. The people in my own little world. So when I needed the power it gave to save me from slipping it was no where to be found because I was no longer searching for it. I was searching for physical food, physical water, physical rest, physical medication that would bring physical healing and a physical rest from this hurting world not in His Word.

“The time is surely coming” says the Sovereign LORD, “When I will send a famine on the land- not a famine of bread or water but of hearing the word of the LORD. People will stagger…wander…search for the Word of the LORD, but they will not find it….they will grow faint in that day, thrsting for the LORD’s Word. Amos 8:11-13

Don’t misunderstand me I read the Word through daily devotionals one line at a time each morning to share with my husband. We decided at the new year that maybe we should cut down from 8 to 4 to give him more time in the morning without rushing through them. I still watched a daily teaching while I worked on my Temple. Your Move with Andy Stanley, Joel Osteen, Elevation with Stephen Furtick, Enjoying Everyday Life with Joyce Meyer, Christine Caine, and Living proof with Beth Moore. I would watch each one once and delete. I attended church the moment the doors opened back up. I heard the Word but my mind was filled with the things of this world that His Word would go in and out as fast as I recieved it.

The seed that fell among the thorns represents others who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life…Mark 4:18-19

The thorns I battled with were the concerns and cares of the people that surrounded me. I couldn’t get the message because the physical desire to help them was greater. When everyone was well in body my heart was hardened by the things I saw in this world so my eye was bad. I had a critical way of looking at the world through the things I let my eyes see in it daily and that thinking seeped into my home. As far as my self-righteous way of thinking was concerned I was going to heaven but I was living in hell with everyone else.

I long for the years gone by when God took care of me, when He lit up the way before me and I walked safely through the darkness. Job 29:2-3

I no longer saw people I loved who were made in the image of God I saw them as people with problems that I could fix. I could do something about. I spent my days “helping” “fixing” the broken that I barely made time for the things I used to do when I was fixed on His Word.

By October I noticed I had developed this tick that when I wasn’t “helping” the people I loved a nervous anxiousness would come over me and I would self soothe by scratching my head to the point of bleeding and giving myself head sores. I was not choosing to exercise self-control so this allowed the enemy to control me like a marionette. When I tried to share the Word it would come out like a fire hydrant drowning my listener instead of like a gentle rain as before. Deuteronomy 32:2

That is when my base camp announced it was now hosting in person Celebrate Recovery. I had never attended a specific recovery program. I was moved to attend by a movie I saw on Prime called Thank You for Sharing a fiction movie based on a real life struggle with sexual addiction. As I watched I realized the way I recovered from my obvious addictions was by His Word. It was a Spirit led recovery. Not just watching teachings, listening to praise music, sharing devotionals but also bible studies. I attended my first one in 2013 Breaking Free by Beth Moore and hadn’t stopped being a part of a bible study till COVID.

Fortunately a few years ago a friend introduced me to the idea of completing studies on my own when I couldn’t be in a group or I wanted more study on a particular area of my life. So I always had a workbook I just wasn’t faithful to complete it. Then I started to share the studies with my nephew in prison and he helped me to have some accountability but when I fell weeks behind while he kept in step I felt guilty for not having, making the time for it.

I made the decision to attend my first meeting. In group I began to meet people not just with drug, sex or alcohol abuse but multiple characteristic traits oppostie of the Spirit that they struggled with. In big group I would hear not just teachings but also testimonies making it almost better than just attending a church service. People in the group were brave enough to share their hurt and how the love of God saved them. It inspired me to write my own testimony I haven’t shared it yet only to a handful of people but I will.

Afterwards we would break up into small groups and share freely how our week had been struggle or achievement, our thoughts on big group, really anything. The number one rule was that during our share we would have the floor and be uninterrupted, no advice, no counsel, just be heard and so that it gave us the healing opportunity to hear ourselves think aloud.

For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open, and every secret will be brought to light. Mark 4:22

Then Good Friday came and the Celebrate Recovery Group hosted the evening with Scripture reading of the moments leading to the darkness. They had 3 wooden crosses at the front with a small table of hammers and nails. When we walked in, we were given a piece of paper to nail to the cross. I nailed my desire to control others and even stubbed my thumb in the process. The echoing of the sound of the hammers hitting the nails brought me to tears envisioning what my Christ did for me.

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Galatians 5:24

I was finally able to proclaim a week of sobriety from my desire to control others and exercise self control instead. God showed me that in my desire I didn’t trust Him to heal my people. I didn’t trust Him with His plan for them. In my wayward way of thinking I trusted my plans for them. My ways for them were somehow better than His. I got back in my Word. The studies. The sharing with my nephew consistently. The sharing with my friends. To limit my sharing to text messages not blogs just yet.

A verse that felt like a splinter in my soul was “It was the LORD’s good plan to crush him and cause him grief.” From Isaiah 53:10 I should have known better than to put myself in a position that would prevent or prolong the inevitable crushing of ones’ life. No amount of money. No amount of preaching. No amount of putting my life on hold to make someone’s life pain free would heal them. Only God can and He sent a Savior to the job I do not have in me to do.

In my second week of sobriety I began to see that the things that crushed me actually gave life to many. Like my brother Jesus when people see me they too can believe that God raises people from the dead even still today because the truth is I was dead to God by sins when I chose to live apart from Him by my life choices I just didn’t know it. Romans 6:13 Ephesians 2:1 ,2:5 and Colossians 2:13 yet here I stand because of He that had the power to save me. So even if crushing is part of their story I know they can and will survive it.

Yet I am confident I will see the LORD’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13

By week three I had let go of the desire to control others and gave that over to God. I felt more confident in my stride of self-control. Nothing has changed but once again I have. The way I see the people around me. Not through a hardened heart or critical eye but through eyes of faith what I believe they can be one day. Through eyes of unconditional love not for the things they do but who they are. And through hope believing one day they too might see the goodness of God all around them, not just in this life but the one to come, even in the crushing.

Then Jacob woke form his sleep and said “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I wasn’t even aware of it!” Genesis 28:16

A Thousand Minutes

March 8 2021

Since my website was revamped I lost alot of my old postings thought I would share some of my favorites because the same truth is still true for me even still today. *Originally posted 9-8-16

Stop a moment and think about what you do on average a thousand minutes a day? There are exactly 1,440 minutes in a single day. A thousand minutes is the equivalent of 16 hours and 40 minutes of the day.

I began to make a written track record of what I did with my days from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed. Call me crazy, but I actually enjoyed it. I looked forward to seeing how each day would unfold. If the plans I made worked out or were changed and how I responded to that change. As I flipped through this tiny notebook by my nightstand I noticed patterns in my routine some good things and some things that were probably not so good for me. But as the wisest man once said in Ecclesiastes 7:16 So don’t be too good or too wise! Why destroy yourself? (He also said in the following verses) On the other hand, don’t be too wicked either. Don’t be a fool! Why die before your time? Pay attention to these instructions, for anyone who fears God will avoid both extremes. (and it’s important to also mention) 20 Not a single person on earth is always good and never sins.

So with this in mind I set out to make the most of each day He gives. There were some ordinary or what I like to call extraordinary days that make this life of mine complete when I got to experience something amazing or unique. When I learn something new or do something I had never done. When I took notice of something no one else does. Each day was different no two days I had written are exactly the same. Even in my routines the times had changed. Always distracted by something unexpected, the things I didn’t plan for.

If I thought I could plot every hour of my life this was definitely proof for me to give up. Thankful I learned that lesson a long time ago. Part of this summer did not go by in blink. Thanks to this little notebook I took a slice out of my life and I can tell you exactly how it all layered up. So why did this book intrigue me today? Because my bible verse word study search was a “thousand” found in 82 verses to be exact. And these particular ones stood out for me as black lettering on a white page:

A single day in Your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else!... Psalm 84:10

For You a thousand years are as a passing day, as brief as a few night hours. Psalm 90:4

But you must forget this one thing, dear friends: A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day. 2 Peter 3:8

In Revelation 20 in a teaching titled “The Thousand Years” without quoting the entire passage it basically says that Christ bound Satan in chains for a thousand years so he could no longer deceive us until the 1,000 years was finished then he would be released for a “little while”. During which time we would reign with Christ. The teaching right after this is titled “The Defeat of Satan” (I feel like I need that piano music background where you press multiple keys and it goes da-da-dum) It basically says when the thousand years come to an end, Satan can then deceive interestingly in verse 9 he and his army “went up” on earth meaning they were down below and though they surrounded God’s people fire from heaven “came down” from above on the ones who attacked us and instead consumed them in the flames. They were sure to note the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the fiery lake.

As someone once said “I said all that to say this” I began to think what if I was looking at this the wrong way. When I interpret a thousand years in human terms it is beyond my life let alone anyone’s life on earth. But what if to God a thousand years is exactly what He said it is…a single day. A single day of my life. Obviously my life is comprised of thousands of days as Moses said

Seventy years are given to us! Some even live to eighty. But even the best yeas are filled with pain and trouble; soon they disappear, and we fly away. Psalm 90:10

If I live to be 80 I will have lived just over 29,000 days or less than 1000 months. But as Christ once said we are all given the same amount of time each day. Jesus replied, “There are twelve hours of daylight every day. During the day people can walk safely. They can see because they have the light of this world. But at night there is danger of stumbling because they have no light.” John 11:9-10

So I flipped through my book and sure enough on average I spent 16-17 hours awake or 960 to 1020 minutes a day. It got me thinking what if for every single day that I trust in and lean on Christ to make it through each day he has promised to bind the enemy for a thousand minutes each day. During that time I can come and go freely. Free of fear. Free of guilt. Free of worry. Free of distress. Free from slavery to and the power of sin. Free from the law. Free to trust. Free from blame. Free from being judged or condemned. Free from the spiritual powers of this world. Free from anger and controversy. Free from the penalty of the things I had done. Free to carry out all the good things He planned for me to do in those thousand minutes each day.

In case those freedoms sound familiar I pulled them all out of the Word - John 10:9, Job 11:15, Psalm 19:13, Micah 7:18, Luke 12:22,(Psalm 106:44, 107:13,19 & 28, 118:5) Romans 6:18, 22, Galatians 5:1, John 14:1, 1 Corinthians 1:8, Colossians 2:14-16, Colossians 2:20, 1 Timothy 2:8, Hebrews 9:15, Galatians 5:17, Ephesians 2:10

To be led by the Spirit of His power and courage and love. No longer fearful, timid and afraid even when it looks impossible because I don’t have to believe the one wrapped in chains whispering lies that I might not have or be enough or worse yet I might fail so why even bother. As Jesus once said in Matthew 4:10 Get out of here Satan…I serve a Higher power. And if I know my truth well, Jesus has already “bound” Satan up. Interestingly enough, the past tense form of bind. Or it can also mean he has already marked off his boundaries. His opinion no longer has power over me. What if it were that easy to believe in something…that has already been done.

(The LORD’s response to) Job 38:8-15 Who kept the sea inside its boundaries as it burst from the womb, and as I clothed it with clouds and wrapped it in thick darkness? For I locked it behind barred gates, limiting its shores. I said, ‘This far and no farther will you come. Here your proud waves must stop!’ Have you ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to rise in the east? Have you made daylight spread to the ends of the earth, to bring an end to the night’s wickedness? As the light approaches, the earth takes shape like clay pressed beneath a seal; it is robed in brilliant colors.

The other night my husband pulled me out of my office to watch the sunset as the day was coming to a close and for the first time I realized my thousand minutes will soon be up. We stood on our back porch as I gazed at the fiery sky thinking of what I just read a few hours, a few hundred minutes or so. “Fire from heaven” came down consuming those who attacked his godly ones and he was thrown into a fiery lake. Fleeting memories of watching the sun sink into the ocean the reflection it gave of setting it in flames.

Father, is this fiery sky a symbol to remind me that Christ, the light you called forth in Genesis 1:3, the one you called “day” in Genesis 1:5 Your Son/Sun has already defeated the deceiver in my life, the one who whispered all those lies. The one that tricked me into believing, so many times of who I was not or could ever be or what I could not or ever do. That the way I had lived the first half of my life, the things I had said and done and probably still do separate me from not only Christ but from Your love too. Does this day in my life mark a thousand minutes I believed Christ won and I am free. If I dared to believe in the what if, then I also know he will be released in a “little while” but only for a “little while” because of your unfailing love the Sun will rise again giving me another thousand minutes to live many more days, unafraid. What if.

Spiritual Growth

January 7, 2021

Paul’s prayer for Spiritual Growth is found in Ephesians 3:16-21 I read it while I get each morning because opening my mind to spiritual growth is as part of my morning routine as it is to wash my face. I use the words Paul prayed to lead me into prayer. I use his words to guide and direct me in what to pray because that was a prayer between he and God this is my prayer between me and He.

Father, I thank you that from Your glorious, unlimited resources You have empowered me with inner strength through Your Spirit. I thank You that both You and Jesus have made Your home in my heart as I trust in You, Your Word and what he did while here on the earth. I thank You that my roots grow down into Your love for me, not a love for the things of this world or even the love of people of this world because it is Your love for me that keeps me strong, that gives me strength each day.

I am so grateful that You have given me the power to understand this love, as all Your people should. A love that is wider, longer, higher, deeper than any love I can experience here on the earth. You have given me a family to show me just a glimpse of what this love feels like but even still I know Your love for them and me is even greater than my love for them. Thank You for the eyes to see, the ears to hear, the mouth to taste and the hands to feel this thing called love that I can experience the love You have for Christ, 

Your anointed one is the same love You have for me, though it is too great to comprehend. I know I will understand one day.

In this way You make me complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from You alone. Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within me, to accomplish infinitely more than I might think to ask for in prayer or think of on my own. Your plans for me are even greater than any human plan. All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ Amen! 

Never to Forget

December 3 2020

But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren. Deuteronomy 4:9

I just celebrated another year around the sun and as much as the world would like me to believe it wasn’t a good year when I looked over my journal entries at first glance I would have agreed but most of the entries were not about me but about the people I loved, the people I was hoping with, praying for to make it through. When I took a second look I can honestly say God has been good to me.

Has the LORD redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others He has redeemed you from your enemies. Psalm 107:2

For 365 I woke up to a new day. I may have spent the night in a hospital room with someone I may have had to take someone to the hospital but I myself remained fine. I got to see the sun rise to each new day. I got to see the stars every single night. Even when the days felt emotionally long I still survived them all. That is something to praise God about.

Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you. Psalm 91:5-7

When tensions were high and every news outlet was reporting war, loss, crime, death I have to admit there was peace in this temple, I did not suffer loss, there was no crime or death. Except for the time someone scratched my car in a parking lot it still runs the only thing bruised was the outside of my car not me. A few days of illness but when you weigh those few days against the other 300 healthy plus days I was given I would say they were merely a fog, a mist. Nothing to boast about, no taste of death.

Trust me I made up my mind long ago that death is not the worst case scenario. For me it is going through this life having not truly lived it. I don’t want my life to be so treasured that I lived it afraid of letting it go. I don’t want to wake up regretting all the missed opportunities I was given because I was afraid of all the shots I would of missed, I want to take everyone.

“His father said to him, ‘Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. Luke 15:31

There were so many reasons for praise this year. Each day was a victory over the other. Each day gave reasons to raise my hands and shout in victory yes I made it, yes we did it, yes thank you Father, yes. I started my year driving back from a prison. Then COVID hit our house it started with my son, then me but we brushed it off as a cold. I slid down the stairs and tore my rotator cuff but here I am still today what didn’t kill me then made me stronger for today.

I met a girl who lost both her parents one to death the other to prison. I can’t complain about my body aches and pains when I see her still smiling, still loving through a pain deeper than I will ever know she is living proof the devil can’t take the goodness of God from your heart.

I learned my son is a wonderful counselor. A listener, a keeper of pain. Who suffered with and for all the hurts his friends suffered and I couldn’t help but see just a glimpse of what Jesus suffered for us. How Mary felt to be helpless to stop, helpless to prevent what her son was born to witness. The world might have shouted hey look at what is happening over here but God made sure He kept my attention this year.

I began the new year rushing my son to the emergency room for a drug overdose. He gave in to peer pressure just one he thought unknowing that it would almost cost him his life. While the world was living in fear I was praying for a peace the devil tried so hard to rip from my hands so when the world went further into darkness I rose higher. Darkness is a familiar foe I know how deep that hole can go. The devil was thrown down to earth and the world seems to forget Jesus called Satan the ruler of this world so when things go from bad to worse I am not surprised, I don’t expect any less from hell it just serves to confirm yup, not my home.

A friend turned 90 and at 89 had a goal to walk 500 miles before her birthday she exceeded it. Reminding me no matter what age that the Spirit is always willing. Another friend lost her beloved husband to a battle with illness at a young age. A neighbor, single mom with two young children furnace broke in the dead of winter and she couldn’t afford to get it repaired so we bought her room heaters and a heated blankets to keep warm. I don’t need the news to tell me I live in a world of loss and gain I just need to look up. And all that was just January.

My February a month that was supposed to be about love had its own ups and downs. New friends. Suicide attempts. Sherriff called. Change. Counseling. Birthday milestone celebrations. March defined by new beginnings. New job. New ride. Repair fence. Loss of work hours. Oh and then there was COVID.

April was our first hand experience. May felt like Spring had officially arrived though it began with a hospitalization and crashed new ride, it taught me to get back on again not to let fear win this battle. Next generation of family purchased first house. June we changed our view to see higher ground. Love was new in the neighborhood. Upgrade ride. New baby. New garage door. New look.

In the Summer a dragon fly swarm made me stop for a moment in time as I watched them dance in my yard reflecting on the first half of the year. Angels surrounded us hundreds if not thousands. We saw the entire neighborhood put on a firework show that would make the pros jealous. We brought the gym amenities home. Replaced half of fence. Installed new sprinkler.

Learned the unexpected the hard way that when you drive too fast in the dark and not pay attention, a rock the size of a soccer ball can ruin your transmission and cost hundreds of dollars in repairs. Neighbor gave live concert. Roommate of two years gave two month notice. A less than 24 hour stay in an emergency room cost over 3k with insurance. Bridal shower celebration in the midst of contagion. Life won fear loss. Surprise birthday BBQ. First job. Vision the devil spelled backwards is lived the past is not a place to live the present in. Humbled by a homeless woman whose life and loss fit in a suitcase. Wildfires. Red Moon. Ash fell in neighborhood. Air smelled of smoke. Started to spend more time in a chapel during the week for refuge, bible study and prayer. Met the joy of a person whose smile lights up a room there are some things the enemy can’t take that are within not what is happening around you.

Fall brought new driver on the road and a new used car that ended up being towed 4 times before being sent back. 17 years ago two became one. And like a cloak once again attempted suicide in the family. Alcohol abuse. A wedding. Furnace repair. Flip this room. Fireplace to heat living area because a bird doesn’t depend on the branch to hold him he depends on his wings. Celebrate recovery. 36 treaters walked up the driveway and we slid down candy bars on a table 6 feet long. Who lives in the white house doesn’t govern me I am governed by the LORD as I was the day before and every day after till I go home. Visit with extended family. Simple luxuries. 

Grateful lockdown finally lifted for nephew after 7 months. I can’t yet see but I can hear his voice again and know that when I left him last year that he remains well. My baby bird is spreading his wings. And there you have it another year behind me.

I remember everyday like it was yesterday. Every triumph. Every tear. Every battle fought. Every trial. Every sorrow. But what I remember most was not the fight. Not the struggle to let go. I remember a God that carried me through each one. Who never let go. I don’t know what this year will bring. No one does. What I do know is that God is still alive. He lives among us. And if I am not careful I could miss Him at work in my life if I fail to look up. So my prayer for this year is that I take more notice of Him in the unexpected places.

Then I will live among the people of Israel and be their God, and they will know that I am the LORD their God. I am the one who brought them out of the land of Egypt so that I could live among them. I am the LORD their God. Exodus 29:45-46

What Good?

Novemeber 18 2020

What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? James 2:14

You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete. James 2:22

Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other, let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God. 1 John 3:18-19

I have heard this quoted many times Romans 5:8 and 1 John 4:9 God showed His love for us by sending His Son to die for us while we were still sinners. Yes I agree my sin, guilt and shame were the first thing that had to be dealt with in my life. This is where it began but it is not what sustained my love for Him. The truth for me had to be more personal. I needed to know that of all the people in this world I wasn’t just a face in the crowd. That God knew me specifically and loved me. That is great to know He gave His Son for the world but I had to know He gave His son for me. That I was the bride walking down the aisle whose groom had eyes only for me. I wasn’t a spectator in the crowd peering over others. Whose face was blurred in the background. I was seen. That He thought so much of me that his thoughts of me out numbered the grains of sand. Before I could love even just one person in this world like that I had to know that I was loved first. 1 John 4:19

It began with a question. He asked if I was okay? Clearly I was not, to which He already knew the answer but wanted to hear me say. He asked if there was anything He could do to ease my pain? A need He could meet that I had no power to? As He watched me struggle to live my own way, He waited for my response. It took me awhile to let go of control to even think to ask for His help. Think to pray for Him to meet a need, though He is a God who created all that I see and is fully capable of many things. In stubborn pride I still didn’t think to ask Him even if the answer was no. He stood by quietly patiently waiting after all my God is a gentleman Isaiah 30:18. I am mostly physically alone so from the time I wake till about late afternoon it doesn’t come naturally for me to ask for help outside myself. Trust me that has since changed. I bring every need to God and let the chips fall where they may. But lately these days I find my first prayer, my first thought with the first conscious deep breathe I take is Father, I need you.

In my own little world, separated from family and friends due to their fears. If it were up to me nothing would change but I respect boundaries, I respect the need for privacy and safety. I understand that not everyone lives fearless of dying, that there are still people who think this life is the only one we have so I pray: Father, I need to know I am not alone John 16:32. That You still see me Genesis 16:13. That You are with me Genesis 28:15. That You walk among me Leviticus 26:12. That You have my back Isaiah 52:12, 58:8. That You are beside me Psalm 16:8. That You hold me by my right hand. Psalm 73:23 That You carry me when I can’t stand Psalm 68:19. That You are going before me Exodus 23:20 Making my crooked places straight Proverbs 4:11 Help me to know I am loved. Isaiah 43:4

You see my Father didn’t just say He loved me. He didn’t send me a text. He didn’t call me on the phone. We didn’t even video chat. He showed up in my life when I need Him most, He made Himself known. He held me. He comforted me with His touch. He spoke with words I could not just hear but see at work in my life. Love does more than just says it loves, it does. What good is the love of God in me if just to be kept hidden? If to just be thought of frequently. What good is that kind of love?

I don’t need a pen pal God, I don’t need a God that speaks and shows no action to back it up. I need the kind of God that stands and says even if this life results in death, which we all know it does. That his life means nothing to him if not to be laid down, shared, given up and poured out. What changed me is I didn’t just hear God I saw the Son of God that day.

I have shared it many times and I will keep sharing, it is the reason I am here today. On bended hands and knees, weeping for eyes to see. What I can only describe as a Roman soldier came to me. Not a feeble man on a cross. With shield held high toward the sky a shadow that cooled my skin fell on me. Protecting me from the flaming arrows that the enemy sent to destroy me. No more would these kinds of thoughts harm me. I was given faith to believe.

He claimed me with a voice that broke through the sky like thunder “Enough! She is mine!”. I felt the weight of his red velvet robe drape over me. Forgiven. Redeemed. Grace fell on me. I felt a single drop of rain fall from the sky landing on my outstretched left hand reaching for something I could not physically see, causing me to open my eyes. My first human thought “O Great, here I am pouring my heart out to a God I can’t see and it's going to rain on me.” But when I looked up the sky was clear. No thunder clouds. Not even white clouds above me to form the shadow that cooled my skin.

Weakened by my experience the strength of his hand lifted me and helped me to stand up. Helped me to take the next step in life. Helped me to see I wasn’t alone as I thought I had been. That even when I can’t see physically there is a force above pulling me toward something greater that I was seen. I just know that from that day on I wasn’t the same me. Changed by a love that risked his life, reached across the heavens, across time and stood beside me. We walk hand in hand often now. He walks slightly in front leading the way and I walk a step behind enjoying the journey through life he is taking me on.

Hear my prayer, O LORD! Listen to my cries for help! Don’t ignore my tears. For I am Your guest- a traveler passing through, as my ancestors were before me. Psalm 39:12

You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. 1 Peter 1:8   

In an Instant

November 8 2020

“Yes,” he told them, “I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning! Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you. But don’t rejoice because evil spirits obey you; rejoice because your names are registered in heaven.” Luke 10:18-20

I sat in a meeting last week and said “Hi my name is…I am a firm believer of Jesus Christ. I am 11 years recovered from…and 8 years from…then I shared my newest struggle, to let go of control. The need to control everyone and everything around me around me in order to maintain my peace and I wasn’t doing a very good job. You could say over the past few weeks I had been white knuckling it, trying to hold onto peace.

Every time my son drove away he took a peace of me with him. Every time my sister’s car stalled a peace of me stalled with it. Every day that passed that my husband didn’t hear back about his interview my peace took a deep breath and held it with him. Every week a close member of my family went without a job and an added large expense arose with her car or house my peace sunk even lower. My breaking point was on the lowest temp days of the season my house heater broke leaving me confined to my room. The car that kept stalling was towed to the shop for an indefinite number of days and the call we waited for wasn’t the news we had held our breath for all those days. I was reminded that even though God had given me authority over the power of some of my greatest enemies in my life He was still the only One in control. There would still be many battles, many struggles that would come against me that He has given me the power to walk through even if it felt like I was failing miserably.

Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever her 

wants. 2 Timothy 2:26

I have heard it said many times that change happens in an instant. I was always skeptical of that until it happened for me. The sin I battled with for 30 plus years I honestly had no intentions of stopping I had surrendered to the defeated mentality that this was just who I was incapable of change. It took my hearing the voice of God to see the power Satan had over me fall from me like lighting.

I can’t remember the exact day only that it was in December because when I walked away from the battle I was given a Christmas gift for my son. The gift of being free of this battle was greater than anything I could receive. I had made up my mind to leave my sin behind that day and every day since till a single day became a week, then a month and now almost 11 years.

Unfortunately, I went from one pain killer to another thinking well at least I am not doing what I used to do. The pain was still there and the need to numb the pain was also there. The things I used to kill the pain eased the sting of the struggles I faced. I might have been able to walk among the snakes and scorpions, but I had not yet learned that I could crush them. I limped along several years better than I was but, in some ways, the same. Even though my brother had said “nothing will injure you” I know the physical injury this world brought on him. As Isaiah 52:14 would describe that he was beaten beyond recognition. The pain I felt was not written on my face or body it was a pain I carried in my heart that nothing of this world had been able to heal.

He reached down from heaven and rescued me; He drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me. They attacked me at a moment when I was in distress, but the LORD supported me. Psalm 18:16

I waited patiently for the LORD to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. Psalm 40:1-2

Before I knew these words, they were true of my second “pain killer” that was killing me. This time it wasn’t a voice that made me stop it was coming face to face with my own mortality that what I was doing to numb the pain had only one purpose to kill and destroy me. People call it hitting bottom. I call it hitting the bottom of my own grave. Hebrews 2:9 says Jesus tasted death for me but my Father had other plans for me, He gave me the smell of death, like smelling salt to wake me from my destructive ways and I haven’t looked back since that day over 8 years ago.

Then the LORD told him, “I have certainly seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I have heard their cries of distress because of their harsh slave drivers. Yes, I am aware of their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the power of the Egyptians and lead them out of Egypt into their own fertile and spacious land. It is a land flowing with milk and honey- the land where the Canaanites, Hitties, Amorities, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites now live. Look! The cry of the people of Israel has reached Me, and I have seen how harshly the Egyptians abuse them. Exodus 3:7-9

I returned from the grave realizing that there were things in my life I had not dealt with, losses I didn’t mourn, disappointments and discouragements I had not made peace with yet, things I wanted to do but never attempted because fear made up my mind I couldn’t, a discontentment I carried with me through life that I was unable to break free from. Why was I afraid to feel the pain, walk through the things that hurt me, to admit that I am human, that I am weak, that humility, shame and sorrow are a part of my story. It took my coming to His Word page by page, verse by verse to find my truth in His truth. That every time He saved; He didn’t show up for perfect people. It was because He saw His children in trouble. He heard their cry. He saw their suffering. Every time He showed up it was because they got themselves in place they could not recover, get up from on their own, by their own strength. Help or some form of the word is written in the NLT over 500 times.

They will be like mighty warriors in battle, trampling their enemies in the mud under their feet. Since the LORD is with them as they fight, they will overthrow even the enemy’s horsemen. Zechariah 10:5

Who am I to live apart from the ways this world had taught me, to want to live in such a way that though I live in this world, I am not of this world? Who am I to put an end to generational bondage, generational slavery, generational sin in my life? To believe that I can cross the raging river inside me on dry ground even if I have to get wet, that I can tear down the walls that kept me from knowing God’s promise, that I can take down the roaring giant that threatens to destroy me with a single blow, that I can climb higher, do the impossible. The only reason I believe I am able is because of a God that said I am His. He is with me. Just as He said to my ancestors before me Moses, Joshua, Ruth, David, Esther, Daniel and Jesus just to name a few.

Liked Zechariah 10:11-12 taught me, I come from a long line of people who decided in an instant that they had enough. They passed safely through the sea of distress; the waves did not deter them to go back. God caused their emotional suffering to dry up as He wiped away every sorrow, every tear. He gave them the power to crush the enemy of doubt that stood in their way, the one that made them question God’s Sovereignty and strength and put an end to the fear that consumed their thinking. By His power God made His children strong, by His authority they went where He desired them to go. All because He said You are mine and I am Yours. That was all they needed to know.

You are my flock, the sheep of my pasture. You are my people, and I am your God. I, the Sovereign LORD, have spoken! Ezekiel 34:31                  

My Father's House

October 24 2020

“But why did you need to search?” he asked. “Didn’t you know that I must be in my Father’s house?” Luke 2:49

I noticed recently that not a single day has passed that there wasn’t a report of something random to be disappointed, frustrated, confused, worried, stressed about. So I have been spending a lot of time in my Father’s house sometimes in a building, other times as my brother Jesus did just stepping away to an isolated place so that I can cast my cares in prayer to the LORD. To let go of the things too heavy for me to bear, too great for me to understand. When the only sense that can be made is this is not my home because I know the One who cares for me.

I am seeing how quickly His Word is forgotten as foretold in Matthew 13, Mark 4 and Luke 8:4-15 how the evil one is snatching His Word from the hearts of those I love so that their problem becomes greater than God. Dwelling on the difficulty is always on the throne of their mind, no longer is there reason for praise. I can still remember a time when they heard His message and received it with joy like it was a gift, as though a hidden treasure was found and nothing else mattered but His Word, what He promised and what He spoke but now their worries matter most.

How quickly their love of His Word faded when the trials and sorrows of life arose, words like hope and faith became wishful thinking. All too quickly the Message was crowded out by doubt. A call to worship was now considered a sacrifice of their time over the opportunity to create more wealth, make more, produce more, work more rather than spending time in my Father’s house. So when chaos descended for “a little while” on their house, when a great time of testing the things they put their trust in fell silent, it had no comfort, no encouragement, no reply. Indeed there are things that happen in this life that no amount of wealth or work can buy.

In my prayer of Psalm 89:9-10 I was reminded me how God “rules over the oceans and subdues the storm-tossed waves.” For me the mere mention of ocean waves brings to mind what my own emotional turmoil looked like within me. Grateful to God who is greater than my feelings (1 John 3:20) Who tells the waves this far and no farther can you come (Job 38:11) who calms the storm at His command with two words ‘I Am’. (Matthew 8:27, Mark 4:41, Luke 8:25)

I was also reminded in this verse that God crushed the great sea monster and there it was in the footnote that read in Hebrew this monster is known as Rahab, a mythical sea monster that represents chaos in ancient literature. When chaos is what I have seen all around I am reminded that God scattered my enemies with His mighty arm. Reminded of how God brought order into my own chaotic world.

For the LORD is God, and He created the heavens and earth and put everything in place. He made the world to be lived in, not a place of empty chaos…Isaiah 45:18

For God is not a God of disorder but of peace…1 Corinthians 14:33

I sat silently in my Father’s house as Paul taught me in Philippians 4:6 to lay my needs at the cross and lift up a sacrifice of praise for all that God has done. I prayed for every person God has brought across my path. Then I affirmed the things God said of me. The way I see it I spent forty years of the world telling me who I was not my Creator can have the other half of my life to tell me who I am. 

Afterwards I sat in silence and thought of the wonder of God. The greatness of His power and who He is to me.

In Psalms alone He is…My rock. My refuge. My healer. My redeemer. My Savior. My strength. My victory. My honor. My shield. My hope. My grace. My fortress. My provider. My goodness. My King. My glory. My God. My Master. My Father. My inheritance. My cup of blessing. My place of safety. My shepherd. My light. My salvation. My helper. My rock of protection. My hiding place. My LORD. My Lord. My joy. My safe refuge. My helper. My protection. My shelter. My song. My delight.

When I am in my Father’s house whether in a building of wood and stone or a Temple of flesh and bone. I can tell you I am not fixed on the worries of this world. My mind is not concerned about what will I do if God knows what happens because this I know, I was never created to white knuckle anything or anyone more than I hold onto God. My mind is convinced that God is still in control, still on the throne. That He is Sovereign He hasn't given up that throne. Whatever chaos is allowed to roam for “a little while” it is not greater than the glory that will be revealed when my Father makes Himself known in any given situation, circumstance, problem, worry, fear I know that the glory of His presence will come in two words, not alone.

The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it. John 1:4-5


October 14 2020

Are Your wonderful deeds any use to the dead? Do the dead rise up and praise You? Can those in the grave declare Your unfailing love? Can they proclaim Your faithfulness in the place of destruction? Can the darkness speak of Your wonderful deeds? Can anyone in the land of forgetfulness talk about Your righteousness? Psalm 88:10-11

In Hebrew Abaddon means destruction. While praying through Psalms 88 yesterday the oddest thought came to me as I made the effort to sound out a word I don’t read often Abaddon. How similar it sounded to “a bad done”. It made me think when I did what was evil, wicked, displeasing to God, I was essentially doing what was bad, A bad done. It might not have been physically bad for me at the time in fact it might have even felt good to do seems like every bad I have done there was a good feeling to it, but it was definitely bad for me spiritually, mentally, emotionally. Where all my battles against the enemy are fought and won.

He was probably cheering me on in the act of the bad so that when all was said and done I had given him even more ammunition against me for the bad I have done. He now has a truth about me he holds dear and uses to tear me down every chance he gets by simply whispering things like “Remember when you did what you did. You should be ashamed. You will never…you could never…you will always be…You are not…you cannot…”

Once he has covered me in guilt and shame and condemnation, I have now fallen into a pit of depression of my own digging, a pit about the size of my own grave. I am paralyzed by guilt and shame. Believing I cannot move, I cannot be changed. The farthest thing from my mind are the wonderful things God has done for me in the past. The only thing I can think of is the past that buried me. In this past there is no reason to get up just stay in bed and hope the painful memories pass but it never does. I have no reason to praise God. God is not the reason I am in this pit, I am useless to do anything good for Him.

No reason to declare His unfailing love, all I see is reasons why I do not deserve to be loved. How can I proclaim His faithfulness when I can’t even be faithful to Him in my place of destruction, in the place where my bad was done. I am blinded to see how God has been good to me all my years surrounded in darkness not even remembering the good things only focused on the bad I have done. I have forgotten all the times He saved me. I cannot speak of His righteousness because I know that what I have done is nothing compared to what He has done for me. So I lay silent in the grave, refusing to lift my head, refusing to look up.

They say change happens in an instant. What they don’t say is it is a choice you have to make every single day of your life. “What are you doing?” God said to me right after the bad that I had done. The voice wasn’t accusing me with “What have I done!” This voice knew what I did, this voice wasn’t looking to condemn me. This voice was gently trying to wake me up, force me to confront my enemy but not alone.

Then sometime later the same voice said “Be still and know that I am” my thoughts were far from stillness. I was thinking of all the bad done to me. I was thinking of all the bad I could do. I was thinking how am I going to move forward as though I were alone. What am I going to do? As though I was the only one. There is no moving forward. I am stuck. I am paralyzed. I have no choice but to stay in the grave I have dug.

I watched as a dragonfly danced in the yard. Carefree. Life cycle only a season. Before I knew about the living beings found in Ezekiel. Living beings watched over me and still do. Not a worry in the world. I wished I were that dragonfly and I could escape, fly far away from the pain and destruction the people of this world caused and never look back. Always moving forward.

Behind sunglasses to hide my tears I watched as my neighbor furiously chop down her apple tree like a mad woman on a mission. Her dog had one too many apples and was kept in the house locked up while they worked. Long enough to cause destruction and she knew in her heart it had to do with this apple tree. She had asked her husband to cut it down several times after the first few accidents in the house. Chopping with a vengeance I thought of the fruit of sin that was eaten that caused the downward trajectory of all mankind the same fruit that was still causing destruction in my own life, my own family. I hadn’t read the Book but I knew all about Adam and Eve and the fruit taken from the forbidden tree. The same fruit that made God say to me “What are you doing?”

When He said “Be still and know that I am” I shot off a bunch of questions “Know that You are what? Going to save me? Going to change this? Be still and know that You are what?” And then the truth was made clear to me that I didn’t know who God was. I knew who others said He was but I didn’t know Him for myself, personally. I didn’t read His Word I had it read to me, like a child who could not read and comprehend yet I was near 40. I didn’t know God at all only what was told to me.

The weight of His hand lay on my shoulder like when a parent stands behind a seated child and places their hand on their shoulder to let them know without saying a word I am behind you. You need not fear I am here. Perhaps He was trying to tell me in these few words “Be still and know that I am…with you.”

In what could have been seconds, minutes, hours, I closed my eyes with relief for the first time in my life to know that I wasn’t alone He was with me. And in that time He showed me who He had been in my life. Why I had been chosen to survive in this place of destruction, this barren land where I still found blessings. Like a flashback movie reel- just scenes no sound, the memory of every wonderful deed He performed for me when I thought it was just me against the world.

Every praiseworthy moment I thought I accomplished by my own strength, my own deed how He opened the doors, cleared the path, made it smooth for me to walk through. He showed me the salvation of His unfailing love. How it wasn’t dependent on anything I had done but simply because I was his own. A child made of flesh and blood whom He chose to breathe into existence.

That His faithfulness was not dependent on if I believed in Him or not. He existed whether I acknowledged his existence. Like the sun hidden on a cloudy day the clouds that cover it don’t make the sun cease to exist. Even if I never knew the sun was hidden behind the clouds I know by the light it gives. He showed me that He could be seen through every good and perfect thing in my life, His wonderful deeds were His way of showing His goodness to me. He made me to remember His righteousness in a land where it seemed filled with injustices even when I could not see how every wrong was made right in its own time, it served His purpose for good in my life. How even as suttle as the changing leaves the days of summer give way to fall that everything in my life was seasonal. Lasting a brief time not always, not forever. My life has changed. I have changed. That even when it didn’t feel good to me. No discipline ever does but afterwards it produced for me a peaceful harvest of right living (Hebrews 12:11)

The joy I have now comes not from anyone or anything in this world so it cannot be taken from me. It comes from knowing God is with me whether I rise to the top of the mountain or stumble my way down it. He has me. He holds me. I am His. He calls me mine. 

Which brings me back to Abaddon. The opposite of destruction is regenerate, build up, raise, reclaim, restore, recreate, reconstruct, protect, salvation, rescue, renovate, save, create, improve, construct to name just a few antonyms. This is who God is. You could say this is His family business. He didn’t say let there be darkness the darkness was here he said let there be light. And 

that light was love, unfailing love.

…Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone. Romans 5:18

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

The other day was a day of multiple celebrations. I was praising God for the most part of the day till night fell and destruction came. A bad was done as quickly as I was on the mountain top I was stumbling down the ravine and I sought God. I asked for His wisdom “How can I handle this situation I am confronted with from a place of Your love, how can I hold my peace when there is none, how can I be patient, treat good, be kind and speak gently when everything in me wants to lash out, yell, curse, punish. How do I be faithful to the unfaithful, how do I exercise self-control when this situation is out of control? When it was time to respond I said as gently as was said to me “What are you doing?” not because I didn’t know but because I wanted them to wake up. There was no argument the bad was done. I didn’t raise my voice being louder doesn’t make people hear you any better only yourself. I spoke gently, I was kind as not to frighten the fearful. I held back my human nature to destroy, explode. I had mercy. I showed grace. I remembered my youth, my own foolishness. My time in the wilderness, the darkness before knowing who God was.

LORD, give me Your unfailing love, the salvation that You promised me. Psalm 119:41

What if unfailing love is the salvation promised? Like a wedding vow, a promise to love inspite of, a promise to love for the good even in my worst. A promise I have never known of any man on the earth. A promise only God could give and keep because He is not a man.

What if just knowing I was loved no matter the bad I had done? That the bad done could not separate me from His love. I was still His child always is, always was. Could it be that the same child of His sorrow could also be the child at His right hand? Though He often had to punish me for the evil I had done, the punishment I received didn’t mean He loved me any less. I am loved regardless of.

I had to understand that I was loved even before the bad was done. I was loved the moment the thought of me was formed. Is it 

possible to love an idea? To love a hope even before it can be seen or held, I had to believe that I was. I was loved the moment I came into being, the moment I was formed. The moment we knew we were pregnant we bought clothes for a child that was yet to be born. We replaced the carpet to comfort his precious knees that hadn’t even been formed. We painted his white walls and decorated it so that his eyes yet to be opened had something pleasing to look at. We bought a car seat and secured it for the safety of a child we didn’t even know would be coming home with a hope we had yet hadn't known. Yes it is possible to love a hope not yet seen or held. God loved me the moment I was formed in my mother’s womb, the moment He caused me to take my first breathe by breathing His breath into my lungs, the moment He chose to give life to this dust, light up my darkness. I was loved before all of it was. He loved me so much even if it meant I wouldn’t know Him, I would live apart from Him all those dark years, it was just a little while to Him but to Him I was worth the wait. He made certain even then I wouldn’t be alone.

I can’t even begin to explain or understand how love was born in me it was just something I was born with in my DNA. I don’t have it on a calendar, the day I learned to love. I don’t have a book I read that showed me how to love. I just did. I did with every good deed, every righteous act. Even as a baby there was nothing I could give to show my love to anyone, simply to be in the space I was in. I smiled and laughed to show my approval when I had no words to say love, I expressed it. I laid my hand upon the hurting to show that I witnessed the bad, I saw the hurt, I heard the sorrow, I saw the pain, the trials this life caused and I wasn’t going anywhere. I was here. I am here. And every day I just showed up without saying a word and that’s the best I can say how God has loved me inspite of the bad I had done and somehow it is, it has been, it will always be enough.

Learning to Walk

October 2 2020

The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters. Genesis 1:2

We wrapped up a series in my Woman of the Word study group. I put in my prayer request for peace in a time of uncertainty before knowing what we were going to cover and as God’s divine time would have it I was reminded in the lesson of the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19:11-13 that God may not answer me as He had done before. I found comfort in knowing that however God sees me through this it doesn’t really matter if He appears in a storm after a three year drought, a blazing fire to reveal that He is with me, in a mighty wind that makes me tremble and draw nearer to Him for comfort or speaks directly to me in a gentle whisper. At the end of the day what matters is that God is faithful to finish what He started.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6

I didn’t always know that. When I began this walk of faith I was as the verse mentioned at the top, formless and empty and darkness covered me. The only goals I had were to put in my 40 hours of a work each week, eat and sleep. Maybe do a load of laundry if I ran out of clothes unconcerned about anyone else’s needs but my own. I picked up the house when I felt like doing chores but if I am being honest I never felt like cleaning I did it when I had to. Most of the time I would sit and consume time till I felt sleepy. The only light that covered me was the glow of a screen through the TV, laptop or phone in front of me.

You say, “I am allowed to do anything”- but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything” but not everything is beneficial. 1 Corinthians 10:23

As my study wrapped up I heard a story that served to remind me of this truth that my family in Christ shares in the same kinds of suffering I do (1 Peter 5:9) we are all not so different. A loved one whose life constantly hangs in the balance, unsure of survival (Deuteronomy 28:66). Mature in age not in maturity. No savings, no property to call home, nothing but the clothes on their back they owned. Everything they had has only been because of the compassion God gave people to have for them and as they grew older they believed that this way of life was no fault of their own doing, their own making. As painful as it is to be a witness to this wasted life, I can remember a time when my life was not so different.

I think the worst of it was that before knowing God I felt like I had no choice in the decisions I made. When I reaped what I sowed I would find myself find myself in a place asking God why this happened to me as if surprised by the outcome. How was I where I ended up? I expected my lies to reap a harvest. I expected my taking what was not mine to add up? Why did I expect a good and prosperous life if all I did was consume it? I took from life everything I could store and take and hoard and wanted even more.

The truth is I had a false expectation like the servant had of His Master in Matthew 25:24-27 I wanted to harvest from life what I did not plant, I wanted to gather crops from life that I didn’t cultivate, I wanted to reap from seeds that I had not sown. So when the harvest of my life amounted to nothing because I planted nothing, when the crops I gathered turned to dust because I did not cultivate them and when I reaped bitter fruit from the seeds I planted. In my blindness I couldn’t figure out why my life was not as I intended it to go.

No sooner had I heard this story did my own family call. If the call was welcomed it would have sounded something like this…I miss you, so good to hear your voice, how are you doing? Is there anything I can do for you? You have been on my heart, I remember all the times you have helped me out and I was wondering if now would be a good time to repay your years of kindness. I understand you have little and God has blessed me with so much that I want to share it with you. But this was not the call I got. I got the complete opposite. A lie that led to theft, a theft that led to a robbery and a robbery that led to a consequence that needed to be paid now. I can’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Over this journey of faith I have learned that God in His goodness and faithfulness has always been generous to me. He gives me at least 12 hours of daylight to do whatever needs to be done. When I keep myself so busy during these daylight hours I find that I sleep well at night whether I have eaten little or much. I am surrounded by food pantries so if the need for food ever became too much He has given me the wisdom to know where to get food at no cost to me only that I pay it forward.

Somehow without my asking I always have clothes to wear and shoes for my feet. I can honestly say that these two things I have never been without if I had a job or not. I always had at least a suitcase and at most several closets. I don’t know about you but I don’t see many naked people walking around with absolutely nothing to wear so my guess is He does this for everyone.

I live in a city where a public restroom can be found at your nearest gas station, grocery, church or even clothing store so I know that water is free. I have been blessed to have transportation through the legs to walk to these places if need be. These are all the things that God gave to me whether I was living in darkness or light. Doing what was evil or good. The sun still rose for me and the rain still fell even if I failed to look up and see it.

Now anything above this standard way of life is a choice I had to make through an opportunity I was given. I can look back over the years and see the many times opportunity was given to grow, to rise up. It hasn’t been easy and it wasn’t just handed to me. Everything I wanted above this way of life I had to work toward. On bended back and knees and fistfuls of dirt, cultivating, planting, sowing in order to reap a harvest of the good life I had only heard about, read about before. As God said while on the earth we would always be required to plant and harvest, reap and sow, cultivate the soil, thresh the grain, pluck the grapes, press the olives. The bread and wine and oil all have to be crushed and processed before it can be cooked and eaten.

I learned through the Word a good parent disciplines a child in the same way it tends to a harvest. Not by striking the ground to produce fruit. You see the common theme throughout the Word can be summed up in two words endurance and encouragement. To teach us about endurance and to encourage so that it fills the reader with hope. I have read countless of stories not just about strangers but about my ancestors that endured a harsh life and overcame it by the grace of God. I have read about the abuses suffered under the hand of an enemy whose sole purpose was to keep my people down and still in every story they got up and kept fighting for this thing we call life. And if that weren’t enough through the story of my brother Jesus I learned how even when faced with the worst enemy of all, death itself, he rose up to defeat death. There are many things in my life that had to be retaught, relearned, that had to in a sense die so that who is standing before you now could be reborn again. Death is not something we do once it is something we discipline ourselves to do daily.

Life is a lot like learning to walk. You didn’t just decide one day that you did not want to crawl anymore. A parent intervened in your growth and picked you up. They showed you that your legs had the strength to stand. They moved you forward so that you could take a step while being fully held or supported so that you wouldn’t fall. A parent teaches a child to walk through countless hours of practice or some might refer to it as discipline. Till one day the child lets go and walks unassisted, unsupported. In the beginning the child stumbles and so as not to discourage the child from trying again the parent smiles and encourages the child that it will be okay not because the plan is to always hold the childs hand but because the child can choose to stand up and try again. This goes on several times before the child stumbles less, pays attention more and perfects their walk and so it is with life.

I myself taught Israel how to walk, leading him along by the hand. But he doesn’t know or even care that it was I who took care of him. I led Israel along with my rope of kindness and love. I lifted the yoke from his neck, and I myself stooped to feed him. Hosea 11:3-4

I thought being abandoned, orphaned, beaten, abused and raped before I became an adult meant that the world owed me something for all that I had suffered but through the Word I found that my life was really not so different from those I call my people, my ancestors now, we all stand on common ground. When I first heard the word discipline the first thing I thought of was my abuse. I never once correlated it to mastery or perfection as the Master intended it because when I was taught by the world it tends to twist my Fathers Words for it's own benefit.

Now I know that it takes a disciplined athlete to win a race, a disciplined musician to play in a concert hall. Jesus showed me that a disciplined way of life is not lived in the dark. It is lived in front of everyone. Nothing to hide. There is no shame in a disciplined life. It is not to be hidden but shared. Not to be served but to serve. If I didn’t read the Word daily, study it regularly to learn what it meant to be disciplined I would still be that thirty something year old child, formless and empty, sitting in the dark. I would still be living without purpose, no plan, no goals, no future hope that I was working toward or building on. No harvest. No planting. And I would still be reaping a handful of nothing to show for this life on earth.

My brother Jesus once said a seed must be buried in the ground in order to produce a harvest. Common sense tells you that the seed in the ground is not the actual fruit and in case you didn’t know that is also found in the Word too. It takes darkness, pressure, water, sunlight and time just as with anything else in life. Only God knows when and how it will grow, who it will grow to become.

I told my friend find comfort in this truth (Isaiah 53:10) it was God’s good plan to crush Jesus so that He could raise him up. I was once like your loved one and I know many in my life that are still struggling to grow up even if they have grown in age. The way I live my life today is just short of how he suffered for me, showing me that love is a sacrifice we choose every day and I consider myself blessed beyond measure.

The guilt you feel is not because you failed to raise your loved one up but because you have taken over the role of god in your loved ones life. They look to you for their provision. For their protection. For everything we know that God has already given to us, you give to them from the harvest you have sown so that they do not have to work, earn, or save for it. A man who has been given legs by God to walk doesn’t choose to be crippled or even believe that being crippled is a choice yes even he gets up.

As you taught your loved one to walk when you take away your hand of support and force them to stand to show them that their legs have strength beyond your hands they come face to face with the reality that they can walk and will turn toward something, someone greater than themselves. That is not a cruel or harsh thing to do what would be cruel is preventing a child from walking and making them to believe they can only ever crawl. We cannot grow or be raised up by God Himself if we are always looking to people to carry us and lift us up. I believe (Ephesians 3:20) in a God who is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or hope for not just for me but for everyone else because there was a time I was not so different from your loved one and look what God did for me.

…We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely on God, who raises the dead. And He did rescue us from mortal danger, and He will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in Him, and He will continue to rescue us. 2 Corinthians 1:8-10  

Love > Fear

September 23 2020

Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced His perfect love. 1 John 4:18

I confess I have trouble assuming the best-case scenario for the ones I love most. My mind tends to leap like a lead weight toward the worst-case scenario whenever they attempt to do something beyond my control. The what if’s bombard me and like a shield I let go by repeating I trust you God. I trust you God. I trust you God, till I actually believe it or forget that I trust Him with everything else but this.

A few weeks ago I was so pushed to my limits with COVID restrictions and begun to think Father, my brother had it right when Peter said to him Heaven forbid he should die (Matthew 16:22). At the way things are going the worst-case scenario would not be for me to die at such a time at this, it would be that I live through it. So yesterday while sorting through my thought closet I began to confront where is this worse case scenario mentality coming from. Do I not want the best for those I claim to love? And that’s when it hit me my thoughts came from a place of fear not for myself but for those I feared for.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7

When I got down to the root of where my thoughts came from and found the root was fear I knew immediately that this thought wasn’t from God or of God. God has given me the power to discipline my thought life by taking captive every thought and teaching it to obey the truth 2 Corinthians 10:5 that what I feared was not seen through the lens of love. It was merely a false expectation that appeared real to me. I had already made up my mind even before my loved ones tried that they would fail. Where was the love in that thought? There was no love in it. Why was I so afraid they would be faced with punishment for attempting to do what they have never done? Like Peter, was I protecting myself from experiencing the pain of their loss, their failure, their struggle. As my brother said I had to say the same to this spirit of fear in me “Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.” (Matthew 16:23)

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 2 Corinthians 13:7

When I let go of my faithlessness, I argued with God clinging to my disbelief. I remember He said to me “What are you so afraid of?” aside from the fact that I was talking to no one anyone could see on my patio in all honesty I responded “What if You’re not real! What if the truth is I have snapped and lost my mind and I am talking to myself?!” in the stillness He said “What if I am.”

About 11 years ago give or take a few months the first time I heard Him speak He said to me “What are you doing?” like my ancestors in the garden I was playing hide and seek but not with God with my sins. I knew to the world what I was doing was wrong but it didn’t prevent me from doing it just made me learn to do it without getting caught. The day He opened my blind eyes to my truth was the day I sinned no more. I put down an addiction to sin I carried for more years than I would like to admit because that day I realized that I wasn’t alone in it.

The second time I heard Him speak was about a year after being clean and learning my husband was not. Drowning in a sea of distress He reached out to me and calmed the waves of my wayward thoughts by saying “Be still and know that I am” at the time my truth was I had no idea who He was. I knew who others thought He was. I had started watching teachings that was the extent of my belief. The day He spoke that to me was the day I opened my Word and began to want to know Him for myself. (Ezekiel 3:10)

So a few months later when I found myself arguing with Him and He said to me “What if I am.” All my disbelief faded away because the truth for me now was I knew who He was. In all my years of life there was no denying a love that never gave up on me. No denying a love that never lost faith in me even when the only one I had faith in was myself. No denying a love that believed the best for me, hoped for the best. And when that love found me in my worst-case scenario that love endured it with me.

On hands and knees with tear filled eyes was the moment grace fell from the sky like a single drop of rain and washed me clean. The weight of a red velvet robe was draped over me and my brother held up his right hand to stop the fiery arrows (Psalm 76:3) of the fear of punishment I so deserved for the way I lived, not for what I did, but for my disbelief.

The world’s sin is that it refuses to believe in me. John 16:9

In that moment I went from trembling with the fear of punishment to experiencing the glory of His perfect love. In light of what I know when those I love are courageous enough to try things they have never known before it’s because they saw me try them unafraid. When they go on to exercise a freedom they have never had before it is because they saw me boldly stepping into a life that is free. When they rise up to meet new challenges that are beyond anything they have ever faced or had to overcome they rise because the saw someone climb a mountain to break down a wall and face a giant that the world told them to be afraid of. I need not fear for them, for just like my Father I love them perfectly and that love casts out all my fears of punishment and fears of failure. Whether they succeed or have to try again I will love in life, in death, even in the worst case scenario- because of a love that never gave up on me.

We love each other because He loved us first. 1 John 4:19     

Prayer of Faithfulness

September 22 2020

Based on Psalm 36:5 and 57:10 also 108:4, 40:10, 11, 57:3, 61:7, 86:15, 89:1, 2, 5, 24, 92:2, 100:5, 115:1, 117:2

Father, Your unfailing love is as vast and as high, if not higher than the heavens above. Your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds. I have not kept the good news of Your justice hidden in my heart. I have talked about Your faithfulness and saving power. I have told everyone in the great assembly of Your unfailing love and faithfulness. Father, don’t hold back Your tender mercies from me. Let Your unfailing love and faithfulness always protect me. I know that You will send help from heaven to rescue me, disgracing those who hound me. My God will send forth His unfailing love and faithfulness.

Father, I give glory to You because I know that You reign over all Your children who seek You for protection. It is Your unfailing love and faithfulness that watches over them. Praise God!

You have taught me that You are the God of compassion and mercy, slow to get angry, and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness. I will sing of the LORD’s unfailing love forever! Young and old will hear of Your faithfulness. For Your unfailing love last forever. Your faithfulness is as enduring as the heavens above.

All heaven will praise Your great wonders, Father. Myriads of angels will praise You for Your faithfulness. For You have declared to all Your children “My faithfulness and unfailing love will be with them, and by My authority they will grow in power.”

It is good to proclaim Your unfailing love in the morning, Your faithfulness in the evening. For the LORD is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and His faithfulness continues to each generation. Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to Your name goes all the glory for Your unfailing love and faithfulness. For Your unfailing love for us is powerful. The LORD’s faithfulness endures forever. Praise the LORD! All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen


September 14 2020

”But you are my witnesses, O Israel!” says the LORD. “You are my servant. You have been chosen to know me, believe in me, and understand that I alone am God. There is no other God- there never has been, and there never will be. Isaiah 43:10

In my beginning, I was born on a day of thanks to a mother born on Christmas day. I even take my brothers namesake yet even then I didn’t grow up with a firm belief in God. I was told there was a God just as I was told there was Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Idols I stopped believing in at an early age. I was told I was baptized Catholic but no certificate of proof or godly parents to fulfill a role they promised before God and family. I attended a Catholic church on holidays till my mother passed from this earth when I was 13. I noticed she read the bible in the last year of her life, when her life depended on it. In football terms you could say it was her last Hail Mary. She prayed to every saint and Mary through the rosary prayer most often. She lit candles in churches. I don’t recall her speaking to God the Father for healing she prayed to everyone else but Him.

After she passed my grandmother took my religious beliefs upon herself and had me take communion classes and when it came to confirm my Catholic faith. I asked too many questions and was asked to withdraw from the class till I was certain of what I believed. I stopped believing in a God I was told to believe in the day my mother breathed her last what kind of God would take a mother from her children’s hand. A God I obviously didn’t know. I did what I was told but believed in only what I could see. This was the extent of my religious upbringing.

All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s path to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the sins of us all. Isaiah 53:6

I am not catholic. I have been taking communion at least once a month in the start weekly to make up for time lost when after the age of thirty plus years I returned to God. Trust me when I say there wasn’t enough bread and wine to wipe out the sins of my past. Now when I read about the suffering servant passage found in Isaiah 53 to remember what he did for me I find comfort in knowing that it is written that not a single person on this earth has never sinned Ecclesiastes 7:20. From birth I was destined to sin, bound to live apart from God that I may be forgiven 1 John 1:9-10.

Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Psalm 32:1

I weep to wonder had I been sent or thrown a question that can only be answered on the other side of this life. Was there a time in my ignorant pride I looked down from heaven and thought I could do better on the earth than what God was doing? Or if I wasn’t thrown did I look down from heaven at my Father’s side and like my brother ask to be sent so that I could remind. Seems like every human being forgets the being part of life and remains human. Either way it doesn’t matter how I came, I am here now, though apart from God in a physical sense, closer to Him in a spiritual way, apart from my true home Ephesians 2.

I live now not because I have no sin, I live by the belief that I have been forgiven. The devil often tempts me to remember a past I cannot change. After all his name is lived spelled backwards. An Accuser is someone who accuses you of the past not the present, there would be no fun in that. Like Eve he tempts you to sin, then accuses you with what have you done? I know exactly who I was before, my life is living proof that if anyone needed saving it was me. Knowing God is a truth I cannot deny anymore His truth is greater than anything I have ever known and to think it was the devil himself that kept me from knowing Him (2 Corinthians 4:4). That what Jesus did is greater than anything I have done. He paid the ultimate penalty with his own life and absolutely no sin of mine even the taking of life is greater than the life of Christ.

I am not forgiven by the hours I spent in prayer hoping that I was. I am not forgiven in the words I repeated while I sat, laid, knelt, or stood. I am not forgiven by the vows I made to sin no more. I am not forgiven by any single thing I did before knowing God. I am forgiven by faith in His Word that God sent me a Savior who said it is finished and with his last breath forgave me even before I became sin.

Death is a price we will all pay one day, a gate we all pass through, life is the line we wait in, the race we all run. If I am still here Spoiler Alert: then it wasn’t today. I wake each new day with a single goal as my brother did, to get so good at dying to myself, my wants, my needs in exchange for what He wants for me, His will for me. My greatest desire is to please my Father and that desire has to be greater than my desire to please myself. I do this so that when actually death comes and I am certain that it will I can welcome it with open arms as my brother Jesus taught me and say as he did you can’t take what I give away.

Because God’s children are human beings- made of flesh and blood- the Son also became flesh and blood for only as a human could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of death. Only in this way could he set free all who have lived their lives as slaves to the fear of dying. Hebrews 2:14-15

No one can take my life from me. I sacrifice it voluntarily. For I have the authority to lay it down when I want to and also take it up again. For this is what my Father has commanded. John 10:18

Seven Years in the Making

September 6 2020

For all who have entered into God’s rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world. Hebrews 4:10

Labor day weekend is a significant time of year for me because it was during this week 7 years ago that I made the decision to lay down my life in the world for serving God through the sharing of His Word.

Faced with the “brevity of my life” Psalm 90:12 I remember sitting at my desk after the three day weekend with the weight of a looming question bringing me to my knees. It was the first time I was alone. My husband returned to work, my son was in school. I was left alone to work from home. For the first time since knowing I was able to weep, to be weak, to be scared of what my future held. With no one to see but God.

A few months prior I had a dream three nights in a row the second night I made a point to tell my friends of it because I never had a memory of dreaming the same thing consecutively. I said to them if it happens again which I doubt I will do my best to pull out of it what I was searching for. My dream was frantically searching through Scripture like my life depended on it. As faith would have it, I dreamt again and when I awoke I was repeating the same verse over and over again.

So not that you know God (Or should I say, now that God knows you), why do you want to go back again and become slaves once more to the weak and useless spiritual principles of this world? Galatians 4:9

The question on my mind that day was “So now that I know, what will I do?” I had a decision to make. I could stop the world, make frantic phone calls, take multiple test, wait anxiously till I was sick to my stomach for the official results to confirm what I already knew. Or I could go on with my life like I didn’t know. That my life was no different then it was the day before that moment of knowing. Prior to knowing God I was good at keeping secrets so I thought but they were the very secrets that brought me to come to know Him so do I really want to go back to that way of life. And with a sigh the answer was no. So boldly to the throne I came I confessed my dependence on a God who is the LORD over me.

Father, this is your life. You have made it clear to me in many way that this has never been my own. That the only reason I am even allowed to be here today to stand and speak boldly at Your throne is because You have allowed it. So what do You want me to do? You know me, You know what Your servant is really like. You know me completely. What should I do?

And in the silence of the room I heard the gentle whisper of the voice I had come to know all too well. “Share” “Share what?” I responded expecting to hear an answer. “Share my Word” Like Moses I argued with Him I am not qualified pick someone else. I didn’t go to school. I have a family. Who would listen to someone like me? And then again I heard “Share with the gift I have given to you”

And they have defeated (Satan) by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die. Revelation 12:11

When I was a young girl I loved to read and write. Reading and writing helped me to escape my reality. It took me to another world where no one was trying to hurt me, fathers stay, mothers don’t die young, no sorrow, no tears, no famine, no drought, a world where I wasn’t alone, a world where I could be strong and the hero would always come to save me. It was probably about the time I began to pursue a career that I put away childish things like my love of word. After all this was real life and no amount of writing and reading will change my reality and the truth was it never did, it just made me to dream with eyes wide open. Till the day I read His Word.

They call Him the Author of life Acts 3:15 They say His Word has the power to transform you into a new person Romans 12:12 That He speaks peace to His faithful people Psalm 85:8 That the book is called a Book of instruction Deuteronomy 30:10 That all that is written is inspired by God 2 Timothy 3:16 and that the Word is God John 1:1

When I came to God I had known of Him through what people knew. I listened to so many people tell their stories of who they thought God was like but I never really knew Him till He came to me. Came for me. When I felt the weight of His hand on my shoulder like a comforting Father that said Be still. He stilled my thoughts. The waves of my emotions that were crashing on the shore that day He stopped. He calmed the wind and the storms that was churning in my heart. With His Word “Be still and know that I Am.” And my truth was I didn’t know who He was. I knew who everyone thought He was but not who He was to me. So after a long life lived in darkness I picked up the Book and began to read it for myself and I haven’t put it down in 11 years because it is never ending. The way I percieve it changes with every stage of my life. Like a kaleidoscope with every experience I encounter I see His Word differently in it. The same book I read eleven years ago isn’t the same book I read today not because He has changed but because His Words have changed me. I see it through different lenses every year.

Seven years ago this weekend He said to me “Share”. You can’t imagine how scared I was to leave everything I knew to take a step of faith to live this life of trust. With trembling I came to do what He instructed me to do, not to gain anything from this world but to share His Word and my testimony. My brother, Jesus taught me that My Father knows my needs Matthew 6:8 but did He really? When faced with the brevity of my life if one year was all I had remaining I wanted to give it back to Him. My truth was I had taken my life into my own hands. I had done what I wanted to do without so much as asking or caring what He thought of it. And now for all that He had done for me, the least I could do was give it back to Him, even if this life wasn’t enough, it was my everything.

O LORD, I give my life to You. Psalm 25:1

I look back over these seven years the thousands of lives across the globe that have been impacted by His Word and praise Him for His faithfulness. I had no idea He would allow this to go on as long as He has or allowed me to “Share” as long as I have but as I promised Him, my promise still stands I will do this for as long as He allow me to. This life of trust has been greater than all the years I gave to this world.

People have made it clear to me that if it were up to this world I should keep these words to myself. But good thing I don’t live for this world anymore. Galatians 6:14 As Paul says to Timothy in 2 Timothy 2:4 Soldiers don’t get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them. And as my brother, Jesus said to Peter in Matthew 16:23 Get away from me Satan! You are a dangerous trap for me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God's." And as he taught me in Matthew 10:27 What I tell you now in the darkness, shout abroad when daybreak comes. What I whisper in your ear, shout from the housetops for all to hear! So this is how I serve and what I have been sent to do.

A voice said, “Shout!” I asked “What should I shout?” “Shout that people are like the grass. Their beauty fades as quickly as the flowers in the field. The grass withers and the flowers fade beneath the breath of the LORD. And so it is with people. The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever.” Isaiah 40:6-8               


September 4 2020

Exodus 3:3 “This is amazing,” Moses said to himself. “Why isn’t that bush burning up? I must go see it.”

I asked in prayer for God to amaze me. To open my eyes to see His Works. And He showed to me a burning bush. A person whose life was up in flames but like the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abendnego found in Daniel 3:19-29 their hair was not singed and their clothing was not scorched and they didn’t even smell of smoke!

When I saw the burning bush I prayed before I approached. The fire was greater than any water I had to offer. In prayer I asked my Father, what would You have me do? And I felt His Spirit say ask how you can help carry their load. I thought to myself I can do that, I can offer a ride to take them where they need to go. I can buy them a grocery cart with wheels to haul their belongings in.

So I put my things away and let God be my eyes so that I could see what He sees and ears to hear what He hears and hands to do what He would do and feet to take me where He wanted to go. I introduced myself Hi my name is…I Am… what brings you here today?

They immediately go onto explain they had been staying in a hotel nearby with several others and one of the people they were staying with accused them of stealing and kicked them out of the room without their belongings. A locked door was placed between them and their possessions. They didn’t want to cause any trouble or get the cops involved and risk having everyone else kicked out of the room so they left.

As they were walking along the road wondering what to do from this moment on with only the clothes on their back two people from the room caught up with them and continued to attack and accuse them of a crime they didn’t do. They once again defended themselves and said they hadn’t taken anything that they would leave but they wanted their belongings. Their attackers told them they threw their belongings in the dumpster in a nearby apartment. So all night long they went dumpster diving. Searching through every dumpster in the area till the sun rose. And finally they found their belongings near a building.

They searched and nothing was missing. Every possession they owned in a backpack and two reusable shopping bags was there. They leaned against a rock for rest and fell asleep. That building was the base camp I attend.

I noticed the burning bush near the food pantry and assumed that because they had grocery bags they just received much needed food and were waiting for their ride. Like I said they didn’t look covered in smoke their clothing wasn’t singed, a hair wasn’t out of place or missing. Someone found them and brought them inside, gave them food, showed them the bathroom facilities, and told them they could sit by the fireplace to find rest.

I asked how long they had been homeless they said a month. I asked what happened that made them homeless. They said they moved from North Carolina to Colorado in hopes of finding work. They met someone who offered them a room and even though right away they seemed mentally unstable they agreed it was better to have a place to stay than no place at all. So they cleaned houses for a living and kept to themselves. One day the room renter attacked them in their sleep. So to avoid further confrontation they left.

Once again a door between them and their belongings and nothing but the clothes on their back. They stayed in a hotel. Came back the next day and the locks were changed. The cops were called and because their name was not on the lease they could only take what they could carry. A backpack and two reusable grocery bags. All their cleaning supplies left behind. Their license still from North Carolina so they didn’t qualify for assistance. Their goal was to save up what they could from handouts to buy a bus ticket and return home. But every time they saved enough it was stolen or used to survive.

Then they shared that 3 months ago they lost their son of 18 years of age. He went swimming with friends after a long night of drinking. Did a back dive into the lake in the early morning hours and never came back up. They called it an accidental drowning. They stopped the search for his body on day two and on day three, a Sunday his body washed up.

Two people picnicking on the shore saw him and called police. The tide was coming in. They held onto his lifeless corpse so that it wouldn’t be swept into the ocean. It took twenty minutes for the police to arrive. They said they weren’t going to let go. And the burning bush wept. One of the bags they carried was a few of their sons belongings the only thing they had left of him. Their most prized possession. The story of Job has taught me that sometimes a persons’ suffering is too great for words and the only way to help them carry it is by simply being there. Job 2:13

After a moment of silence, I said I don’t have much to offer you but what I do have I am willing to help you with. The first thing I noticed about you is your bags and I thought those must be heavy. How can I help you carry your load?

They said what I could really use is a suitcase one of those ones with wheels. I said I can do that. Base camp is open till 3pm it is 1pm. Stay here till I return I am going to run up the street and get you a suitcase. The burning bush wept tears of joy. They said just that morning they prayed to God for help and He sent me and they praised Him.

I went as fast as I could to the nearest store and purchased the largest suitcase I could find with 4 wheels. I even bought them a hidden safe to keep their funds secure. I returned and gave them what they had asked for, prayed for and even more. They hugged me with overwhelming gratitude and thanked me for listening. I said I had to go and asked if I could pray for them. They accepted and I said…

Father, I lift your child up, help them to know You are with them. That You see them and hear them. That they are not alone. You did not promise we would not have many troubles or sorrows in this life but you sent your son to show us that we would overcome them just as your son did by putting our faith, trust and hope in You. Lead and guide them on the best path for their life. Let your favor shine on them. Fill them with Your peace of mind and heart to know that You are with them. All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen

They said they meet many people in their lives, some good, some bad but they always remember the good ones they leave them with hope that there truly is a God watching over them even when He shows up in the form of a person.   


September 3 2020

Samuel tells the people in his farewell speech 1 Samuel 12:24 to think of all the wonderful things God has done for you. Every day I think of all the wonderful things God does through my gratitude prayer book from the air I breath to the dishwasher in my kitchen yes every appliance in my house is named and reminds me of the things He created to help me endure my time on earth.

Before knowing God it was too easy for me to get caught up in the things I hadn’t seen Him do. The way I see things now is I have a choice. I can put my focus on all that He has done and always be filled with joy and gratitude or I can focus on the things I want Him to do or what I hope for and the only thing I will see is what I don’t have. I can focus on His abundance or lack it takes the 

same energy to think on one or the other, but I can’t think on both I must choose what to fix my mind on.

The word “wonderful” is spoken about 100 times in. It is used to describe the following:

Wonderful land, things too wonderful to understand, wonderful things, wonderful promises, wonderful deeds, wonderful mercy, wonderful miracles of God, wonderful perfection and skill, wonderful inheritance, wonderful ways, wonderful future, wonderful love, wonderful reputation, wonderful works, wonderful to see, wonderful truths, wonderful laws, wonderfully complex, wonderful goodness, wonderful singers, wonderful to be young, more wonderful than any other, Wonderful Counselor, wonderful day, wonderful feast, wonderful teacher, wonderful harvest, wonderful blessing, wonderful possession, wonderful gifts, we are wonderfully and beautifully made, wonderful to be here, everything He does is wonderful, wonderful joy, wonderful grace, wonderful secret, wonderful encouragement, wonderful message, gift too wonderful for words, wonderful revelation, wonderful welcome, wonderful results, wonderful power, wonderful light, wonderful new song just to name a few wonderful mentions of the Word.

Can you imagine all these wonderful meanings? Even as I typed each one out the visual memories that sprang forth were overwhelming. I drew a deep breath after each one as if to take in each moment remembered all over again. Like pulling jewels from a treasure chest, handling each memory with care as not to break or forget them. There were some I have never witnessed I had only heard of or read about feeling like my heart would overflow if I only knew looking forward to the day I do.

God tells Manoah in Judges 13:18 “Why do you ask my name?” the angel of the LORD replied. “It is too wonderful for you to understand.” It is my own belief that what He might have meant was even if I told you My name you do not have the human capacity to understand it so it would be so unbelievable even if I told you what it was, you would fail to believe it just know I Am with you and it will be as I have said and without question or doubt Manoah and his wife believed.

When Job is responding to the LORD he says in Job 42:3 You asked me, “Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’ It is I-and I was talking about things I knew nothing about, things far too wonderful for me. The story of Job has taught me that it is not for me to understand why things happen the way they do. Why God gives and takes away when He chooses to do so.

I read once how do you know when you have accepted the present moment for what it is without resistance and the answer was when you stop asking why. I could spend my whole life asking why and never have an answer that would satisfy. I have since matured from that state of mind. Like when a child is at an age where your answer is no longer good enough so he follows up each reply with “why?” till finally in exasperation we explain “Because I said so!” I have asked God why more times than I would like to admit to finally His “trust in my wisdom” was an acceptable response. Like Job I apologized and returned to my humble position of servitude because sometimes the answer I seek is too wonderful for me to understand how it could be possible and my doubt might hinder the miracle from happening.

Like when Zechariah prayed for a child and his prayer was answered when the angel Gabriel told him his son would grow up to become John the Baptist, Zechariah’s first response was unbelief in Luke 1:18 he says “How can I be sure all this will happen? (already talking himself out of the promise) I’m an old man now, and my wife is also well along in years.” Gabriel responds in verse 20 But now, since you didn’t believe what I said, you will be silent and unable to speak until the child is born…just another affirmation that the words we speak have wonderful power but they can also keep us from reaching the promises God has for us sooner than later. My ancestors didn’t have to walk around the mountain for 40 years their words prevented them from reaching the promised land. Sometime its best to receive, accept and move on instead of grumbling and complaining of the walk.

In what I like to refer to as a Letter to My Father Psalm 139:1-18 I say just as David said in verse 139:5-6 You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!

As my son’s mother if it were humanly possible for me to go before him and follow his every step in life to prevent any suffering to come his way I would gladly assume that task. But even the most perceptive helicopter mom cannot prevent her child from stumbling I can only lead him by example. But not God, I’m reminded in this verse that He who created all things is very capable of doing things I can only dream of. Several areas in His Word be sure to remind us that humanely speaking many things are impossible for man but ALL things are possible with God. Think on the possibilities.

When and if you should be so blessed to experience these wonderful moments in your own life cherish them. Believe in them and with every breath you take. Let them sink into your soul and let them settle into your heart. Close your tear-filled eyes and thank God for allowing you to be a witness to it and as Asaph says in Psalm 73:28 But as for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Sovereign LORD my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things He does.   


September 2 2020

Prayer based on Nehemiah 2:18 James 1:17 Mark 10:18 and Luke 18:19 Romans 11:6 2 Corinthians 3:2 Philippians 1:6 Psalm 62:10 1 Timothy 6:18 2 Timothy 2:21, 3:16-17 1 Chronicles 28:20 Titus 2:7 Hebrews 10:4 James 2:26 Matthew 11:19 and 7:35, James 3:13 Luke 12:43 & Matthew 24:46 Isaiah 49:4

Father, when I look back over my life I can see how Your gracious hand had been on me. I see the times You granted me favor just to get me where I am today. I would not be where I am had it not been for Your hand leading and guiding me. I am sorry it took me so long to notice that everything good thing in my life came from You. It is because of Your goodness that convinced me to begin this good work for You.

My brother Jesus taught me that only You are truly good. He didn’t even take credit for his goodness he gave it back to the One who gave it to him. So I know that it is through Your kindness to me that I am able to do these good works. Like Your grace it is- free and undeserving. May the way I live my life be a letter that is written on a heart flesh not stone so that everyone who sees it can recognize Your good work in me. For I am certain that He that began a good work in me will continue and finish it till the day my brother, Jesus returns for me.

Should my wealth accumulate, I will not make it the center of my life. I will use it to do even more good for You, as You instructed me to. May I be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always ready to share with others what You have given freely to me. May I keep myself pure, so that I can be a special utensil You use for honorable work. Help me to keep my life clean, so that I will be ready for the Master to use me for every good work He planned for me long ago.

I know that all Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach me what is true and to make me realize what is wrong in my life. Like a mirror it shows me where I need correction it doesn’t correct my life for me I have to choose to do that. When I do what is wrong in Your sight by grace it serves to teach me how to do what is right and begin again, try again like a disciplined athlete repeats a task till they get it right. Father I know that You use Your Word to prepare and equip me to do every good work. And You will see to it that the work related to this Temple that serves You is finished correctly.

As a Christ Ambassador my life is to be an example to many not by what I say but by doing good works of every kind. So that everything I do reflects the integrity and seriousness of what You have taught me. This is not a task I can do on my own. I must rely on Your work in me.

Let me spend my days thinking of ways I can be a blessing to others. Motivating others to acts of love and good works in Your name. For just as the body is dead without breath so my faith is also dead without good works.

As my brother taught me “wisdom is shown to be right by its results” not by simply speaking what I have been told. If I claim to be wise and understanding of Your ways, I will prove it by the way I live, not just by what I say. I will do so by living an honorable that is, pleasing to You by doing good for others for the wisdom You taught me is thinking more of others than I do of myself and I do this by doing good works. So that when the Master comes for me He will find His servant has done a good job with the time He gave to me on earth, expecting nothing from this earth but for Him to be my reward. All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen

Making Peace with My Past

August 31 2020

They went in whatever direction the Spirit chose, and they moved straight forward in any direction without turning around. Ezekiel 1:12

I have a confession to make. Last week I allowed my peace and joy to be taken from me. It wasn’t even about anything that happened to me recently it was about things that happened years ago maybe even years in the making.

In the way the LORD raised up adversaries for my cousin Solomon in 1 Kings 11:14 He also did for me. My life has not been without the occasional enemies. I have forgiven every wrong and if kindness was extended it would be returned without hesitation. After my encounter my Father reminded me that I must remember the enemy only comes to steal, kill and destroy that which he doesn’t have for himself. So a part of me actually felt sorry for my enemies for trying to take something that doesn’t come from my circumstance.

My enemies cannot take my peace by convincing me that God is not real because as Andy Stanley would put it “you cannot have shade without the sun.” In the same sense hatred cannot exist without love. Love is spiritual not circumstantial. Love exist whether it is returned or not. Just as no one has to ask the sun to rise or wonder if it will rise. It has risen since the beginning of time on both the good and evil the just and unjust alike.

My enemies cannot take my joy and convince me that God never did the things He has already done for me. You can’t unscramble eggs. Grace is the reason His mercy is new each day it beckons everyone on the earth to get up and try again. My Father speaks truth when he says my enemies cannot take that which lives within. And so I took back what I had given over to my enemies.

I even thought to myself as I sighed at the sight “pray for my enemies” my brother always said to me. I pray I don’t say or do anything that would be less becoming of a child of God. I cast my cares on a God who cares for me for these burdens are too heavy for me to carry.

As His divine timing would have it my base camp opened their doors to the public this past week to work and study in the lobby and pray in the sanctuary. At first I thought it would be a great place for me to get away from the busy of the household and hear myself think as I wrapped up my study and work I stepped into the sanctuary. I know that God is not found in a building made of human hands Acts 7:48. That He lives in me 1 Peter 2:5 but something overwhelmed me to be in that space and I released a flood of tears that had been building in me.

I wept from being weary of the battle. The battle was not with my enemies that stood before me that day my personal battle was with the hurt my enemies inflicted on me 17 years ago, 16 years ago and 5 years ago. The way my enemies treated me with contempt. The way my enemies ignored my attempts for reconciliation. When I wanted peace they wanted war. When I sought comfort they gave me thorns. So you can see how fighting the same battle for these last 17 years can be exhausting.

My pastor is doing a series called Hearing God. And so my prayer has been “Father speak, Your Servant is listening” I didn’t hear anything in the sanctuary. I would hear God speak through devotionals and then most recently in a dream. So this is what I heard Him say about my situation and I thought it so profound to share with you perhaps it will also help you to find peace in the present and make peace with a past that cannot be changed as it did for me.

He said to me in a dream “Evil is live spelled backwards. To “live” is a present tense word not past tense. The Accuser can only shame, condemn, guilt you for your past. He has no power over your present that is where I Am. He pulls you down in a pit of depression by making you recall what was said and done to you. He makes you to overthink and dwell upon every detail and what you should have, could have done. But no matter how much you think and dwell on the past this one thing is certain it cannot be changed. Your power lies only in this present moment. It is only for today. His power over you is in the past that is why I have taught you to take captive every thought and bring it to Me. Let me redeem your past by making you present with Me. I call him the devil, lived spelled backwards. The more time you spend in the past know that is time you are choosing to spend with him. The more time you live in the present moment you are choosing to spend it with Me, notice My presence in your life right here, right now, be here with Me. Choose each day which you will live.”

I awoke and before I could think I shared it with people I thought might also benefit from it. Since then it has made me to think several things like what the apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:13 forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, pressing on to reach the end of my human existence and receive the heavenly prize for which God is calling me through the life and ministry of my brother Jesus. Or what Solomon taught in Ecclesiastes 7:13 Accept the way God does things, for who can straighten what He has made crooked?

There is about a twenty year span that Jesus lived that wasn’t documented or written about. When he began his ministry he doesn’t say things like when I was in my twenties this happened to me or when I was a teenager this is how I overcame. No he found that the way to overcome the past trials and sorrows is to live in the present with the presence of God. To be so in the moment that the past had no power over him.

I take a scooter ride a few times a week. I enjoy the ride because I am more present than I have to be, I feel the wind in my hair, I am alert of every bump in the road, every car in the street, my mind is processing things as fast as I can drive past them. I am not thinking of the road behind me the pothole I just missed the car that almost backed out of the driveway on me a few blocks back all I am thinking about is where I Am and what is ahead of me. My enemies don’t know it yet but I have made peace with them. I give them what God gave to me through Jesus, a past that is forgiven and never to be remembered again I am done visiting the enemy in a prison he enslaves me. As surely as the sun rises to light this new day I refuse to waste it with the enemy of my past, a past that cannot be changed.

As Deuteronomy 30:19 taught me today I am given a choice between life and death. To live in the past or the present. Between blessings and curses. Between experiencing what God has for me today or being blinded by the present reliving my past sins and mistakes. Heaven and earth are a witness to the choice I make today. My Spirit and my flesh will know the choice I make. Oh Father You gave me the free will to be wise enough to choose life, so that those who come after me might know how what it means to live in the here and the now where death has no power over me. This is the only way to truly live not the other way around.      

A Confident Prayer

August 30 2020

Prayer based on Psalm 27:3, 57:7, 108:1, 112:7-8, Romans 8:35-37, Micah 7:7, Romans 12:12, Hebrews 3:6 Philippians 1:28

Father, though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident in Your saving grace. There are times when I must whisper Your Word to soothe my beating heart and continually say that my heart is confident in You, O God. Not in this world, not the people of it. My heart is confident in You, O God. May Your Holy Spirit in me bring to remembrance a song of praise so that I can can take my mind off the worry and sing to You with all my heart! I do not fear bad news. I confidently trust the LORD to care for me. Because of You I am confident and fearless and can face my foes triumphantly.

For You have taught me that in spite of these adversities overwhelming victory is mine because I belong to Christ. I fight from a place of victory not for it because my brother, Jesus already won the battle against our enemy. As for me, I look to the LORD for my help just as my brother taught me. I wait confidently for my God to save me and my God will certainly hear me.

I rejoice in confident hope even when things look uncertain I can be certain in You. I am patient in trouble and I keep on praying, praising, and making God bigger than my problems, greater than my worries. As surely as Jesus, is God’s Son, he has been put in charge of God’s entire house. And I am God’s house. I hold onto the courage He gives to me when the enemy tries to make me fear and remain confident in my hope that Christ did what he did for me. For I have been taught not to be intimated in any way by my enemies. This will be a sign to them that they are going to be destroyed and I will be saved, even by God Himself. All glory, honor, praise and power to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen 

Prayer for Confidence

August 29 2020

Prayer based on Isaiah 30:15, 32:17, Jeremiah 17:7, 2 Corinthians 3:12, Titus 1:2, 3:7, Hebrews 6:18, 7:19, 11:1, 13:6, 2 Corinthians 5:7, Psalm 57:2

Father, You have taught me that in quietness and confidence is my strength. When You reveal Your justice Your righteousness covers the land and this brings me great peace. Yes, it brings me quietness and confidence knowing my God is with me. It is a blessing to be able to know that I can trust in the LORD.

I have made the LORD my hope and confidence. No longer do I rely on the things of this world for my salvation. You are the power that saves me. This new way of living gives me such confidence, but not without results, it helps me to be very bold as I stand on the truth of Your promises. A courage I never had before.

This truth gives me confidence that this life is temporal compared to the eternal life, which God-who does not lie- promised to all that believe before the world began. Because of Your grace Father, You declared me righteous through the precious blood of Your son and gave me the confidence that I will inherit the same eternal life by my faith in Jesus.

Father, I know that You have given both Your promise and His oath. That these two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, because I have fled to You for refuge I can have great confidence as I hold to the hope that is before me. I have confidence in a better hope,through which I draw near to God.

You have taught me that faith is the confidence that what I am hoping for will actually happen. When I put my hope in the things You have promised it is not a matter of if it will happen but when it will happen. This gives me assurance even of the things I cannot see just yet. For we live by what we believe not by what is seen. So that one day I can say with confidence, as my ancestor David said “The LORD is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?” my confidence is not in people or things it is in the LORD who will fulfill His purpose for me. I am confident of this truth. All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen

Prayer to Praise God

August 28 2020

Based on Isaiah 12:1-6 25:1 38:18-19 42:12 57:18-19 60:18 61:3 61:11 63:7

Father, I praise You, O LORD! When I lived apart from You I felt the hand of Your anger weighed heavy on me but not anymore. Now You comfort me. Thank You Father! I praise Your name! You are so mighty to save me! I knew in my wickedness that it would take an act of God to save me from myself.

I sing to You for all the wonderful things You have done. My praise is filled with joy to know that the great and Holy One of Israel lives among us. O LORD, I will honor and praise Your name, for You are my God. You do such wonderful things! You planned them long ago, and now You have accomplished them. For the dead cannot praise You. They cannot raise their voice in praise. Those who go down to the grave can no longer hope in Your faithfulness. Only the living can praise You as I do today. For the only way I could have heard of Your salvation was because the generation before me told me so now it is my call to tell the next generation of Your faithfulness.

Let the whole world glorify the LORD. Let it sing His praise. Father You said that You saw the things I did but chose to heal me anyway! I didn’t know what grace was till I met You in my brokenness. You lead me. You comfort me when I mourn, bringing praises to my lips. And if that weren’t enough You give me abundant peace.

Violence has disappeared from my land. The desolation of destruction and war has ended in my household. Salvation surrounds my walls and praise is on the lips of all who enter my home. Father thank you for giving me beauty for my ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In Your righteousness I am like a great oak that You have planted for Your glory.

The Sovereign LORD has shown me His justice and I can’t help but praise Him! His righteousness is like a garden in the early spring with plants that spring up everywhere. I live to tell of the LORD’s unfailing love. I will praise the LORD for all He has done. I will rejoice in His great goodness to me and my family, which He has granted according to His mercy and love. All glory to God my Father forever and ever, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen 

Prayer to Honor God

August 27 2020

Prayer based on Psalms 8:5, 21:5, 22:23, 23:5, 25:11, 29:1, 31:3, 37:34, 45:17, 62:7, 69:30, 79:9, 86:11, 91:15, 104:1, 106:8

Father, I humble myself to think You made me only a little lower than You and crowned me with glory and honor. But truly Father if I have any honor it comes from. Your victory brings me great honor, and You have clothed me with splendor and majesty. I praise You Father for all that You have done for me. As a descendant of those who serve You it is my privilege to be counted among those who honor and show You reverence.

For You renew my strength. You guide me along right paths, bringing honor to Your name. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. For the honor of Your name O LORD You sent Your son to forgive me of my many sins. I honor You for Your glory and strength.

You are my rock and my fortress. For the honor of Your name Father, You lead me out of danger. I can’t help but to glorify You. I put my hope in the LORD. I travel steadily along His path. He honors me by giving me the land. I have seen the wicked destroyed. I bring honor to Your name by telling every generation of Your praise forever and ever.

My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a Rock where no enemy can reach me. I praise God’s name with singing, and I honor Him with thanksgiving. Being mindful of all that He has done for me.

Father, help me to remember that You are the God of my salvation! My saving comes from no one but You. You help me for the glory of Your name. You save me and have forgiven my sins not because of anything I have done but for the honor of Your name.

Teach me Your ways Father that I may live according to Your truth! Grant me purity of heart, so that I may honor You. For when I called on Your name, You were with me in trouble. When I called on You, You rescued me and honored me, my honor comes from You, Father.

Let all that I am praise the LORD. O LORD my God how great You are! You are robed with honor and majesty. In spite of everything I have done before knowing You, You still saved me, to defend the honor of Your name and to demonstrate Your mighty power. Thank You Father, I live to give glory to You. All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen 

Prayer to Glorify God

August 26 2020

Today I was distracted so in order to help take captive my thoughts I turned them over to God. I simply took the Words from Psalms and reminded myself of His glory in this prayer based on the following verses 3:3, 8:1, 5, 19:1, 24:7,9 24:8,10, 29:1-3, 29:9, 44:8, 48:8, 50:15, 57:5, 11, 63:2, 66:2, 71:8, 72:19

Father, You are the shield around me. You are my glory, the One who holds my head up high. Your majestic name fills the earth! I imagine it like the light of the sun that makes its way across the sky. Your glory is higher than the heavens. Father thank You for making me a little lower than You and crowning me with Your glory and honor. The heavens above proclaim Your glory Father, You made it so easy for me to just look straight up at the sky and be reminded of Your craftsmanship.

Father, take captive my narrow minded way of thinking, remove the veil from my blind eyes transform my life by changing the way I think of You. For You are the LORD, strong and mighty. The LORD who is invincible in battle. The LORD of Heaven’s Armies- You are the King of glory.

Help me to remember to give honor to You LORD for Your glory and strength. I honor You Father for the glory of Your name. I worship You in the splendor that is Your holiness. Your voice echoes above the sea. The God of glory thunders. The LORD thunders over the mighty sea. Your voice has the power to twists mighty oaks and strip forests bare. In Your Temple everyone shouts “Glory!” like a battle cry.

O God, I give glory to You all day long and constantly praise Your name for all that You have done. I had only heard of Your glory but now I have seen it for myself. It is a place that You have made my safe harbor forever. I called on You when I was in trouble and You rescued me and gave me reason to glorify You.

Now I live to exalt You above the highest heavens! May Your glory shine over all the earth. For I have seen You in Your sanctuary and gazed upon Your power and glory. I lift my voice in song to You each day to give glory to Your name and tell the world how glorious You are. This is why I can never stop praising You. I declare Your glory all day long. Praise His glorious name forever! Let the whole earth be filled with His glory. Amen and amen!

Prayer for Hope

August 24 2020

Prayer based on 1 Peter 1:21 Hebrews 11:35 Acts 24:15 John 16:33 Jeremiah 17:17 Psalm 25:5, 21 31:24 33:20 37:34 130:5

Father, through my brother Jesus Christ I came to trust in You. I placed my faith and hope in You because You raised him from the dead and gave him great glory. I placed my hope in a better life so I died to my old way of life. I didn’t put my hope in a God who only raised the righteous my hope was in a God who raised up the unrighteous because they depend on Him for righteousness. My brother said I would have many trials and sorrows on this earth so he taught me to put my hope in You on the day of disaster because you helped him to overcome I believe you are able do the same for me too. Lead me by Your truth and teach me for You are the God who saves me. May integrity and honesty protect me. Help me to be strong and courageous. You are my help and shield. I travel steadily along Your path. For I am counting on You. I have put my hope in You and Your Word as my brother taught me to. All glory to God my Father, the same Father who raised my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen    

Prayer for Trust

August 23 2020

Prayer based on Genesis 49:18 Hebrew 10:23 2 Chronicles 14:11 Psalm 54:7 34:4 11:1 13:15 56:3 62:2,6 16:8 104:5 1Peter 5:10 Hebrews 12:27

Father, since the beginning my ancestor said “I trust in You for salvation, O LORD!” you know my truth Father, You know what I am really like. I was looking to be saved all my life. Saved from my struggles, things too hard for me to bear, saved from my troubles, my sorrows and trials, the worries that kept me up late at night, the stress of my everyday life, things that I was taught to fear but You taught me to trust in You. That You can be trusted. O LORD, no one but You can help the powerless against the mighty! When I cry out “Help me, O LORD my God, for I trust in You alone!” You rescue me from all my troubles and helped me to triumph over my enemies. I prayed to the LORD and He answered me. He freed me from all my fears. I trust in You for protection. I trust in Your unfailing love for me. Even when I am afraid I will put my trust in You. For You are my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. I know the LORD is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me. You placed me on a firm foundation so that I would not be moved. Let all of creation be shaken and removed so that the only unshakable thing that remains is my trust in You. All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen 

Prayer for Direction

August 22 2020

Prayer based on Psalm 37:23, 56:3 119:42, 59 Amos 3:3 Ecclesiastes 7:29 Isaiah 53:6 John 18:38 Isaiah 55:8-9 Proverbs 11:5, 20:24 Job 42:3-5

Father, it is written that You direct my steps and delight in every detail of my life. When I lived apart from You made me to understand what You meant when You asked “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the same direction?” So like the Psalmist I pondered the direction of my life and turned to follow your ways. You spoke truth when you said I had turned to follow my own downward path, like a sheep I strayed to follow my own way. It is written that You direct Your people by truth. And the only way to know truth is to know You. Before knowing You I was like Pilate who asked my brother “What is truth?” The only thing I knew was that I could put my trust in You. I know Your thoughts are greater than my thoughts and Your ways are higher than mine because You are directing my steps, it is insanity for me to try to understand everything along the way. Like Job you made me to realize how foolish it was to question Your wisdom with my ignorance. I had only heard of You before but now I have seen You with my own eyes. I trust in Your Word. All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen

Prayer for Conquering

August 21 2020

Prayer based on the following verses 2 Samuel 22:40, Psalm 18:39, Psalm 91:13, Psalm 110:1, Micah 7:19, Malachi 4:3, Romans 16:20

Father, You have armed me with strength for the battle. You have subdued my enemies under my feet.

Because of you I can trample upon lions and cobras. I can crush fierce lions and serpents under my feet! You instructed me to be seated in the place of honor, at rest beside You until You humble my enemies, making them a footstool under my feet. Thank You for having compassion on me. For You alone can trample my sins under Your feet, help me to be rid of them and throw them into the depths of the ocean! For You have said that when You act Father You will tread upon the wicked as if they are dust under Your feet. I know that the God of peace will soon crush Satan under my feet. And may the grace of my Lord Jesus be with me. All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen 

Prayer for Protection

August 20 2020

This prayer is based on several verses that I strung together to create from Psalm 17:8, 36:7, 57:1, 63:7-8 and 91:1

Father, guard me as You would guard Your own eyes. Hide me in the shadow of Your wings. How precious is Your unfailing love for me, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of Your wings. Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy! I look to You for protection. I will hide beneath the shadow of Your wings until the danger passes by because You are my helper. I sing for joy in the shadow of Your wings. I cling to You; Your strong right hand holds me securely. You have taught me in Your Word that those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen

Prayer for Guidance

August 19 2020

Prayer Based on 1 Kings 8:56-61

Father I praise You LORD who has given me rest, just as He promised. Not one Word has failed of all the wonderful promises You gave through Your servant Moses. May the LORD our God be with us just as He was with my ancestors; May He never leave or abandon us. May He give me the desire to do His will in everything and to obey all the things He tells me to do just as He gave my ancestors instructions. And May these words that I have prayed in the presence of the LORD be before Him constantly, day and night, so that the LORD my God May give justice to me and to His people Israel, according to each day’s needs. Then people all over the earth will know that the LORD alone is God and there is no other. And May I be completely faithful to the LORD our God. May I always listen and do the things He tells me to do, just as I am doing today. All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen


August 18 2020

When you search just the mention of the word “prayed” in the Word you come up with all sorts of people just like you and me that lifted their voice to God in surrender with heartfelt pleas some were pages long, chapters long and some were just a single line long:

Genesis 20:17 Abraham prayed

24:42 Abraham’s servant prayed

32:9 Jacob prayed

Numbers 11:2 Moses prayed (also in 21:7 Deuteronomy 9:20,26)

Joshua 10:12 Joshua prayed

Judges 13:8 Manoah (Father of Samson) prayed

16:28 Samson prayed (also in 16:30)

1 Samuel 1:10 Hannah prayed (Mother of Samuel remember her prayer in 1 Samuel 2:1)

1 Samuel 14:41 Saul Prayed (The first king in all of history)

1 Samuel 23:10 David prayed (also in 2 Samuel 7:18, 15:31, 1 Chronicles 17:16 and 21:26)

1 Kings 8:12 Solomon prayed (like father like son also in 8:23, 8:59 2 Chronicles 6:1,14, 20:6)

13:6 a man of God prayed

18:36 Elijah prayed (also in 18:42, 19:4)

2 Kings 4::33 Elisha prayed (also in 6:17,18,20)

13:4 Jehoahaz prayed

19:15 Hezekiah prayed (also in 20:2 2 Chronicles 30:18, 32:24 Isaiah 37:15, 21, 38:2)

1 Chronicles 4:10 Jabez prayed

2 Chronicles 33:13 Manasseh prayed

Ezra 8:21 Ezra prayed (also in 8:23, 9:6, 10:1)

Nehemiah 1:4 Nehemiah prayed (also in 4:4, 4:9)

Nehemiah 9:5 Leaders of the Levites prayed

Job 42:10 Job prayed

As I already made clear a month ago Psalms is full prayers when you don’t know what to pray Psalms is a good start

Psalm 18:6 I prayed to my God for help. He heard me form His sanctuary… 34:4 I prayed to the LORD and He answered me….34:6 In my desperation I prayed and the LORD listened… 38:16, 41:4, 77:2 I prayed 118:5 In my distress I prayed to the LORD, and the LORD answered me and set me free.

Isaiah 26:16 Isaiah prayed

Jeremiah 32:16 Jeremiah prayed

Daniel 6:10 Daniel prayed (also in 9:4)

Jonah 2:1 Jonah prayed

Zechariah 1:12 the angel of the LORD prayed

Matthew 11:25 Jesus prayed (also in 26:42, Mark 14:35, 39. Luke 6:12, 22:41, 44)

Luke 18:11 a Pharisee prayed

18:13 a tax collector prayed

Acts 6:6 The apostles prayed

Acts 7:59 Stephen prayed

8:14 Peter and John prayed

9:40 Peter prayed

10:2 Cornelius prayed

12:5 the church prayed

20:36 Paul prayed (also 21:5, 28:8)

27:29 prisoners and shipmates prayed

And finally James 5:17-18 reminds us of the power of our prayers

In my walk of faith I have learned that prayer is a gift from God. If I have been given the knowledge to pray to God that wasn’t something I made up or thought to do. That realization that my life is way bigger than I can live it alone is divine. As my brother Jesus taught me in Matthew 6:5-8 prayer is something between you and God, not so that others can see and hear you. It is not something you need to repeat over and over again. I can trust that the One that formed my ears heard me loud and clear the first time even when I don’t speak in an audible tone.

As the Psalmist said in 116:10 “I believed in You so I said…” whatever comes after that is between You and Your Father. So whatever it is you are hoping for, believing in, know that you are not alone. I doubt God is saying “Well I haven’t heard that request before.” Your brothers and sisters in Christ all over the world suffer as you suffer because if there is one truth I know this isn’t my home but an answered prayer sure helps me to endure the time I have left on earth. So pray as my ancestors have done before. I speak the same truth they spoke. Reminding myself of God’s promises and thanking Him that they are already on their way.

If God were speaking to me through Paul's letter to the Philippians 4:6-7 I believe He would say “Don’t worry about anything instead pray about everything tell Me what you need and thank Me for all that I have already done. Then you will experience My peace which exceeds anything you can understand and My peace will guard your heart and mind as you live in the knowledge of knowing that you live like my son did, who lived each day talking to Me in prayer.” Amen (Revelation 3:14 and 2 Corinthians 1:19-20)

Whole Armor of God Prayer

August 17 2020

Prayer based on Ephesians 6:10-18

Father, thank You for the strength You give to me in Your mighty power. By faith I put on Your armor so that I will be able to stand firm against all the strategies of the devil. For I know that I am not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies. I know that my fight is against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world. My fight is against mighty powers in this dark world and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

Therefore, Father I put on every piece of Your armor so that I will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil so that after the battle I will still be standing firm. I stand my ground with the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness to defeat the enemies lies. I put on shoes of peace that comes from the Good News so that I will be fully prepared when the enemy tries to discourage me with doubt.

In addition to all these things I will hold up my shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows aimed for my feelings that the devil attacks me with dread and depression. I put on salvation as my helmet to protect my thoughts from distraction and take the sword of the Spirt which is the Word of God. I will pray in the Spirit of God’s Word at all times and on every occasion so that I can remain alert and persistent in my prayers for all of God’s holy people.

For my brother won his battle with the evil one and he defeated not by strength, not by might, but by the truth of every Word he knew was written on his heart and mind. All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen

Prayer of Protection

August 16 2020

Prayer based on Numbers 23:19-23

Father I know that You are not a man, so You do not lie. You are not human so You do not change Your mind. You have never spoken and failed to act. You have never promised and not carried it through. I remind myself of these truths when I am afraid that even the enemy received a command to bless. God has blessed and not even the enemy can reverse the blessings over us. No misfortune is in Your plan for me. No trouble is in store for me. For the LORD my God is with me and He has been proclaimed my King. God brought me out of slavery for me He is as strong as a wild ox. No curse can touch me. No weapon that has been formed against me has any power over me. For now it will be said ‘What wonders God has done for me!’ All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen  

Prayer of Restoration in the book of 


August 15 2020

Prayer based on Joel 2:18-19, 20-27

Father, thank You for having pity on me and that jealousy guards the honor of Your land. Thank You for sending the grain and new wine and olive oil, enough to satisfy my needs. Thank You that I am no longer an object of mockery among the surrounding nations for believing in a God like You surely Father You have done great things! I need not be afraid for I am Yours. I am glad and I rejoice for You have done great things. I need not be afraid for even the animals of the field know that the wilderness pastures will soon be green. The trees will once again be filled with fruit. The fig trees and grapevines will be loaded down once more because everything in life is seasonal. I rejoice in this knowledge! I rejoice in Your wisdom LORD!

For the rain You send demonstrates Your faithfulness. Once more the autumn rains will come as well as the rains of spring. The threshing floors will again be piled up high with grain, and the presses will overflow with new wine and olive oil. The LORD says “I will give you back what you lost…it was I who sent this great destroying army against you. Once again you will have all the food you want and you will praise the LORD your God who does these miracles for you. Never again will my people be disgraced. Then they will know that I am among the, that I am the LORD their God, and there is no other. Never again will my people be disgraced for believing in a God like Me. All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen 

Prayer of Praise to the LORD

August 14 2020

Prayer based on Isaiah 26:1-19

Father, thank You that You make me strong! I am surrounded by the walls of God’s salvation. Open the gates to all who are righteous, allow the faithful to enter. You have kept me in perfect peace because I trust in You. I have chosen to fix my thoughts on You.

I trust in the LORD always, for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock. Father, You humbled me when I was proud and brought me down when I was arrogant. You brought me down to the dust to remind me that it is from dust I came. When I was poor, oppressed and needy with my head looking down I could look beneath my feet and know from where I came. To You we all walk on even ground.

Thank You for giving me Your robe of righteousness showing me how to live my life, the way is no longer steep and rough for You God do what is right. You smoothed out the path ahead of me. Father, I show my trust in You by listening to You and applying Your ways in my life. My heart’s desire is to glorify Your name.

All night long I search for You in the morning I earnestly seek You. For only when You come to judge the earth will people learn what is right. Your son taught me in John 3:19-21 that Your judgement is based on this fact: that Your light came into the world but people loved the darkness more than Your light for their actions were evil. For fear of exposure they hated and refused to go near Your light and do what is right because they enjoyed doing what was wrong.

I know that Your kindness to the wicked does not make them good. Although many do what is right, the wicked keep doing what is wrong and take no notice of the LORD’s majesty because they don’t think He is real. O LORD, they pay no attention to Your upraised fist. Show them Your eagerness to defend Your people. Then they will be ashamed. Let fire consume Your enemies.

LORD, thank You for granting us peace, all we have accomplished is really from You. O LORD our God, others have ruled us, but You alone are the One we worship. Those we served before are dead and gone. Their departed Spirits will never return! You attacked them and destroyed them, and they are long forgotten. O LORD You have made our people great, yes, You have made us great. You have extended our borders, and we give You the glory!

LORD, in distress we searched for You. We prayed beneath the burden of Your discipline. Just as a pregnant woman writhes and cries out in pain as she gives birth to new life, we were in Your presence, LORD when our old way of life was dying making room for the new thing You were doing in us.

We too writhe in agony, but nothing comes of our suffering. We have not given salvation to the earth, nor brought life into the world. Christ did when he suffered on the cross for our sins, freeing us from slavery to sin and bringing life into the world making a new way of life to be born again.

Showing us that those who die in the LORD will live, their bodies will rise again! Those who sleep in the earth will rise up and sing for joy! For Your life-giving light will fall like dew on Your people in the place of the dead! All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen

Prayer of Jeremiah

August 13 2020

Prayer based on Jeremiah 32:17-24

Father, You are the Sovereign LORD! You made the heavens and the earth by Your strong hand and powerful arm. Nothing is too hard for You! You show unfailing love to thousands , but You bring the consequences of the one generation’s sin upon the next. I know this because of the generations before that have repeated the same sin over and over again but it stops with me.

You are the great and powerful God, the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. You have all wisdom and do great and mighty miracles. You see my conduct and give to me what my actions deserve. But in Your mercy You have left room for grace when I turned to You and 

believed the price Your son paid. Thank You for Your mercy on me.

You performed miraculous signs and wonders in the land of my slavery- things I still remember to this day! And You have continued to do great miracles in me and all around the world. You have made Your name famous to this day!

You brought my ancestors out of Egypt with signs and wonders, with a strong hand and powerful arm, and with overwhelming terror. You gave my ancestors this land that You promised their ancestors long before- a land flowing with milk and honey. Or as I have come to experience it- a smooth and sweet way of life.

My ancestors came and conquered this land and lived in it the same way that even my brother warned “You will have trials and many sorrows but take heart for I have overcome the world” I know that just like everyone before me I can overcome these trials and sorrows whose sole purpose is to steal, kill and destroy my faith. This hope I have in You is the anchor for my soul and I will not give it away without a fight.

In the past when I refused to obey You or follow Your Word just like my ancestors before me. I did not do anything You commanded I did the complete opposite. I know that is why You sent terrible disaster upon me just as You did then.

When my enemies attacked me to take me down and out of this life causing division also known as war, famine also known as poverty and lack and disease also known as anything that discomforted me. I was handed over to my enemies. My fight was not with them I was fighting to live life apart from You and in doing so my enemies conquered me for years because I didn’t have Your strength, Your protection.

I know that everything in my life has happened just as You said it would. I am sorry it took me almost 40 years just shy of the time my ancestors walked around the same mountain to figure out that Your Words are truth that I can trust in You. To understand that I would reap what I sowed both good and evil because I cannot mock or escape Your justice. Your laws of nature cannot be changed. Even when I don’t understand the things You have me walk through I can continually trust that You are walking with me in them all. All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen

Prayer of Moses Blessings

August 11 2020

This prayer is a personal prayer based on the blessings that Moses gave to my ancestors before his death found in Deuteronomy 33 even though I don't have them completely I believe by faith that they have already been given to me because I was taught that God has already blessed me with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because I am united with Christ acccording to Ephesians 1:3. I believe I recieve this truth over me!

Father, You revealed yourself to my ancestors long ago from Mount Sinai and dawned upon them from Mount Seir; You shown forth from Mount Paran and came from Meribah-kadesh with flaming fire at Your right hand to protect them.

I know that You love Your people; all Your holy ones are in Your hands. Those who follow in Your steps and accept Your teaching. You gave instruction through Moses, and my ancestors considered it their own special possession, but truth be told the real possession was not made of stone, the real possession was God, Himself. You became our King- and when the leaders from each tribe assembled and gathered as one, we became one nation under God.

Thank You for the blessings Moses declared over each tribe. I know that the spirit of those who received this blessing live inside of me. I stand in agreement and receive their blessing as my inheritance too for we have been called to one body under God.

Thank You that my family’s legacy will live on and not die with me though I am few.

Thank You that You hear my cries and the cries of all that worship You. Thank You for the strength You give me to defend the faith You have given me and help me to defeat the enemies lies with Your truth.

Thank You for the wisdom to know what to do, which way to go to follow You, thank You for making my path of life straight.

You tested my ancestors at Massah to see if they would follow Your instructions and they struggled to trust in You at Meribah though You showed them Your faithfulness many times. Because there was one tribe that remained faithful, obeyed Your Word and guarded the promise. They remained more loyal to You over their own parents. They ignored their relatives and did not acknowledge their children. They taught Your regulations and they gave wise instructions. They worshipped You with all their mind, heart, body and souls.

Thank You for the understanding and wisdom You gave to them their wisdom lives in me too. Father thank You for blessing me and accepting the work of my hands. Thank You for hitting my enemies where it hurts the most. Thank You for striking down my foes so that they never rise again. I cannot walk this life alone.

Father, thank You for loving me and that I can live in safety beside You. Thank You for surrounding me continuously and preserving me from every harm.

Thank You for blessing me in the land You gave to me with the precious gift of dew from the heavens and water from beneath the earth. Thank You for blessing me with rich fruit that grows in the sun, and the rich harvest produced each month. Thank You for blessing me with the finest crops of the ancient mountains, and the abundance from the everlasting hills. Thank You for blessing me with the best gifts of the earth and its bounty and giving me the favor of the One who appeared in the burning bush.

Thank You that these blessing rest on my head and allowing me to carry the crown of faith for many generations. Thank You for blessing me with both majesty and perseverance. The endurance it will take to gore my enemies and drive them to the ends of the earth. The blessing of perseverance and endurance to conquer anything that keeps me from knowing every promise You gave to me.

Thank You that I can prosper in my travels. Thank you that I can prosper in my home. The sacrifice You require is the joy of Your will not my own for Your instructions are written in my heart not on stone. Thank You for benefiting me with the riches of the of sea and the hidden treasures in the sand.

Thank You for enlarging my territory. Thank You for giving me the strength of a lion to conquer my enemies. Thank You for giving me the best of the land, thank You for assigning me a leader’s share. Thank You for helping me to carry out Your justice and obey Your regulations. Even though I am the smallest you give me the strength of a lion to leap on my enemies unafraid.

Thank You that I am rich in favor and full of the LORD’s blessings; Thank You that I posses both the west and the south. Thank You for blessing me and securing all my days in Your hands.

As Moses said “There is no one like my God. He rides across the heavens to help me, across the skies in majestic splendor. The eternal God is my refuge, and His everlasting arms are under me. He drives out the enemy before me and cries out ‘Destroy them!’

Thank You Father, that I live in safety and security in a land of grain and wine, while the heavens drop down dew. How blessed am I!

As David once said Do you treat everyone like this? Who else is like me, a person saved by the LORD? For You are my protecting shield and my triumphant sword! My enemies cringe before me and I stomp on their backs not on my own strength but because I have the strength that Christ showed me and that is the strength of His Father, My LORD. All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen

Prayer for Healing

August 10 2020

*Prayer based on Jeremiah 14:19-22

Father, I remember a time when I was ill I thought to myself are my sins so great that You have completely rejected me, abandoned me to my fate? Have I done so much irreversible evil in my life that You must turn away? Could You really hate me that much? Why have You wounded me past all hope of healing? I hoped for peace, but no peace came. I hoped for a time of healing, but found only terror.

In me sorrow and despair on my hands and knees I wept bitterly in humility thinking if this is the end of me I have nothing to lose and I said with my whole heart “Father, I confess my wickedness and that of my ancestors too. I know that we have all sinned against You. We cannot hide our sins from You. But Your Word has taught me that You are light there is no darkness in You at all. 

For the sake of Your reputation, Father, do not abandon me here to live alone in darkness. Do not disgrace Your own glorious throne. Please remember me and do not break the promise You made to me, to be with me always even to the end of age. Can any of the worthless foreign gods that I was taught to worship send me rain? Does it fall from the sky by itself? Of course not, for You are Sovereign over everything. You are the One, O LORD my God! Only You can do such great and marvelous things. So I will wait for You alone to help me.” All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen    

Habbakkuk's Prayer

August 9 2020

*Prayer based on Habakkuk’s Prayer found in Habakkuk 3

Father, before returning to You I had only ever heard of You. I am filled with awe by Your amazing work in my life. In my time of need, You helped me as You did so many times in years gone by. And in Your anger You did have mercy on me.

I can look outside and see You in every divine nature You created. Your brilliant splendor fills the sky and the earth is filled with praises even the birds can’t stop singing Your Holy Name. You arrival on each as is as brilliant as the sun on the horizon. Rays of light flash from Your hands reminding me of Your awesome glory where Your power is hidden.

When I was struck with illness or poverty I lifted my eyes to You constantly for relief. No one else could save me from my pain and suffering. For even if the waves listen to Your command how much less this body You created for me. I know that when You stop the earth shakes. When You look people tremble. You shatter the everlasting mountains and level them into hills. For You are the Eternal One! Not the things of this world You created. How can creation be greater than it’s Creator?

When I am in distress, trembling and afraid all I have to do is remember a time when my ancestors were in distress, trembling with terror at the sight of their enemies when you freed them of all they feared. Was it in anger LORD, that caused You to strike the rivers and part the seas? Were You displeased with them? No, You were sending Your chariots of salvation! You brandished Your bow and Your quiver of arrows. You split open the earth with flowing rivers. The mountains watched and trembled. Onward swept the raging waters. The mighty deep cried out, lifting its hands to the LORD. The sun and moon stood still in the sky as Your brilliant arrows flew and Your glittering spear flashed.

You marched across the land in anger and trampled the people in Your fury. You went out to rescue Your chosen people, to save Your anointed ones. You crushed the heads of the wicked and stripped their bones form head to toe. With his own weapons, You destroyed the chief of the those who rushed out like a whirlwind, thinking that my ancestors would be easy prey. You trampled the sea with Your horses and the mighty waters piled high.

I know the same God who freed my ancestors is the same God with all His power and strength that will free me from the things that make me tremble and fear. So I wait quietly for the coming day not if but when disaster will strike those that attack me. For I do not fight alone.

Even though to the watching world it may appear that I have nothing. Even thought it appears that my efforts have failed. Even though it might look that surely I am as good as dead that I will be unable to recover from this. Like my brother Jesus taught me, I will rejoice in the LORD! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The Sovereign LORD is my strength! He makes my steps as surefooted as a deer, where it appears to man I have nothing to stand on, I am able to tread upon heights no man can stand because my God stands with me. All Glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen  

Prayer Based on Solomon's Prayer of Dedication

August 8 2020

*Keep in mind these prayers are personal they are not what is written I am not quoting Scripture I am basing my prayers on Scripture. To read what is written turn in Your Word to 1 Kings 8:23-53. This is my prayer based on what was said and what I know has already been done.

Father, O LORD, the God of Israel, there is no God like You in all of heaven above or on the earth below. You have kept Your promise to show unfailing love to all who walk before You in wholehearted devotion. You kept Your promise to King David to give him a dynasty of Kings as is evident today. You made that promise with Your own mouth and with Your own hands You have fulfilled.

And now, O LORD, the God of everything I believe is real, carry out the additional promises You made to my ancestors. For You said ‘If Your descendants guard their behavior and faithfully follow You as I have done, one of them will always sit on the throne.’ Help me to always exercise self-control. Give me the wisdom and ability to choose to live my life by the fruits of Your Spirit not the sinful nature of my flesh. I know that my brother Jesus sits on the throne pleading for me daily because You have fulfilled this promise.

Like Solomon sometimes I find it hard to believe that You are really with us. Why, even the highest heavens cannot contain You. How much more can a temple made of stone or a body made of flesh. I look up at the sky in all its vastness as far as my eye can see and even that doesn’t come close to Your greatness in me.

Nevertheless, listen to my prayer and plea, Father. Bend down from on high and bend your ear to me. May You watch over me night and day, this place where your son said “I will always be with you till the end of age”. May You always hear the prayers I make where no one but You can hear the sound of my voice.

May You hear my humble and earnest request when I pray for myself and people alike. Yes, hear from heaven where You live, and when You hear me cry, forgive. If I have wronged anyone then hear from heaven and judge between me and my accuser. You sent your son to bear the punishment I so deserved and you acquitted me not because I was innocent but because he is innocent in me.

Before turning my life to You I was always defeated by my enemies because I continually sinned against You until the day I turned to You and acknowledged what Jesus did. I know You heard me from heaven and forgave my sin and returned me to a state of peace with You again.

When the skies shut up and there was no rain in this barren land of drought because I lived my life like the unwise and sinned against you I once again confessed and repented of my sins and acknowledged that You sent Jesus to be my saving grace I know that You heard from heaven and forgave. Father I have no sense, teach me to follow the right path and send rain on Your land that You have given to us as our special possession.

When You allowed there to be lack in my life or I suffered from illness, a plague or disease or attacks of any kind I know that whatever disaster or disease that fell upon me I took my eyes off my infirmity and fixed them on You. I pray about the fears I had, the things that worried or distressed me and I left them at the foot of the cross because of what he went through on the earth there is nothing so hard I can’t go through with him. For You gave me what my actions deserved, for only You alone know my human heart.

The greatest fear I have on earth is missing out on the life You promised me not a life this world could give me. I lived for so long apart from You and now I know what it is to be with You. To live my life putting You first. Trusting in You alone. To have peace of mind and heart no longer do I live in the pit of anger, resentment, bitterness or distress there is no peace found in the things you set apart for destruction.

For all across the world people of every nation have heard of Your name, they know Your power and Your strength. When they prayed to You, You heard them and granted them what they asked so that everyone would know You just as we do. That we were all created to give honor to Your name not by what we don’t do but by the good things you created us to do.

When I went out and fought against my enemies and prayed that You would uphold me, You did. You did not fail or forsake me. I thought to myself I would rather live this life free in You than to live it afraid of what might people might say or think or do. Jesus taught me there is no life in living to please people. They all have opinions that constantly change I ran myself ragged trying to be what everyone wanted of me.

Like Solomon said if I sin against you- and who has never sinned? While living on the earth I am being perfected, if I was perfect I would be dead to this world and with You. But when I sinned and You allowed me to be captured and conquered by my enemies in the land of exile I humbled myself, repented and prayed ‘I have sinned, done what was evil in Your sight, and acted wickedly.’ When I turned to You with my whole heart and soul You heard my prayer and petition from heaven and You upheld my case. You forgave me of my sins and all of my offenses and You made my captors merciful toward me for I am Your people whom You 

brought our of slavery from the things that kept me from knowing You.

Your eyes were open to my request, You heard and answered me whenever I cried out to You. For when You brought me out of my slavery to the people and things of this world, You said to Your servant Moses that You had set me apart to be Your special possession.

If I am going to cling to anything I would rather it be to You. For You have taught me not to cling to people this world or the things of this world that are quickly fading and turning to dust. For this world feels nothing for me because it does not love You. When the last enemy to be conquered is death the wicked will certainly not rise up to save me, only You have the power to do that because You already did it once. All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen   

Prayer Based on the LORD's Covenant of Peace

August 7 2020

*Prayer based on Ezekiel 34:25-31

Father, thank You for making this promise of peace with me. Thank you for driving away the dangerous animals from the land. Thank You that I can sleep safely in the wildest places without fear for You watch over me. Thank You for blessing me, my family and my home around Your holy hill. Thank You that in the proper season You help to meet our needs. Thank You for Your blessings of abundance.

Thank You that You are my Provider, that my job and my finances prosperous and blessed and I can live in safety. Thank You for breaking the chains of the things that enslaved me. Thank You for rescuing me from the things of this world and that people of this world that enslaved me in this way I know that You are my LORD.

I am no longer prey for other people, like wild animals they no longer devour me. I live in safety and nothing frightens me for You are with me. Thank You for making my land famous for its bounty. Thank You that I never have to suffer again from famine or the insults of those that don't know me.

In this way I know that You, the LORD, my Father, my God are with me. And I know that You have chosen me to be Your people for You have said “You are My flock the sheep of My pasture. You are My people and I am your God.” Thank You Father for speaking these blessings over me! All glory to God my Father, the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen

Prayer Based on Jonah's Prayer

August 6 2020

*Prayer based on Jonah 2:2-9

I cried out to You Father in my great trouble, and You answered me. I called to You from the land of the dead, and LORD, You heard me!

You threw me in the ocean depths, and I sank down to the heart of the sea. The mighty waters engulfed me; I was buried beneath Your wild and stormy waves. O LORD, You had driven me from Your presence.

Yet still I looked to You for You are my only hope. Once more I lifted my hands toward Your holy Temple. I sank beneath the waves and the waters closed over me. Seaweed wrapped itself around my head. I sank down to the very roots of the mountains. I was imprisoned in the earth, whose gates lock shut forever.

But at just the right time You, O LORD my God, snatched me from the jaws of death! As my life was slipping away, I remembered the LORD. And my earnest prayer went out to You in Your holy Temple.

Those who worship false gods turn their backs on all God’s mercies. But I will offer sacrifices to You with songs of praise, and I will fulfill all my vows. For my salvation come from the LORD alone. All Glory to God the Father of my Savior and my Lord Jesus Christ! Amen

Prayer Based on Prayer of Praise  found in Jude 24-25 

August 5 2020

Now all glory to You God my Father for in all Your wisdom You were able to keep me from falling away from You and giving in to the temptation of my sinful nature. Thank You for sending Your son to present me with great joy into our Fathers’ glorious presence without a single fault. All glory to You God my Father who alone is my God who sent my Savior Jesus Christ to be my Lord and free me of sin and bring me into Your glorious presence. Father, all glory, majesty, power and authority are Yours Father before all time and in the present and beyond all time! All glory to God the Father of my brother, my Lord Jesus Christ! Amen

Prayer Based on Prayer for Spiritual Wisdom found in Ephesians 1:18-23

August 4 2020

Father, I pray that my heart be flooded with light so that I can understand the confident hope You have given to those You called Your holy people. I know that we are Your rich and glorious inheritance. I also pray for the understanding of Your incredible greatness that is seen in Your power for all who believe You. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at Your right hand in the heavenly realms. Now my brother is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else- not only in this world but also in the world to come. Father You have put all things under the authority of Christ and have made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by the Spirit of Christ holiness, who fills all things everywhere with himself. All glory to God the Father of my Lord Jesus Christ! Amen

Prayer Based on Prayer for Spiritual Growth found in Ephesians 3:14-21

August 3 2020

Father, when I take the time to think of all that You have done, I fall to my knees and pray to You the Father, the Creator of everything on heaven and on earth. I pray that from Your glorious, unlimited resources You will empower me with inner strength through Your Spirit. Then the Spirit of Christ will make his home in my heart as I trust in him. May my roots will grow down into God’s love and keep me strong. And may I have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high and how deep Your love is for me.

May I experience the same love You had for Christ, though it is too great for me to understand fully. Then I will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from You God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within me, to accomplish infinitely more than I might ask or think. All glory to God in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen

Prayer Based on David's Prayer of Praise 1 Chronicles 29:10

August 1 2020

In order to make this prayer personal I had to take into account it was written before Jesus came. As the saying goes you can't unscramble scrambled eggs so with that in mind I changed the ending to reflect what I knew not what was for David's time. 

Father, the God of our ancestor Israel, may You be praised forever and ever! Yours, O LORD, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory and the majesty. Everything in the heavens and on earth is Yours, O LORD, and this is Your kingdom. We adore You as the One who is over all things. I know that wealth and honor come from You alone, for You rule over everything. Power and might are in Your hand, and at Your discretion people are made great and given strength.

O Father, we thank You and praise Your glorious name! But who am I, and who are my people, that we could give anything to You? Everything we have comes from You and we give You only what You first gave us! We are here for only a moment, visitors and strangers in the land as our ancestors were before us. Our days on earth are like a passing shadow, gone so soon without a trace.

O Father my LORD my God, Jesus taught me that this true temple was his body, not a building made of stone but a heart of flesh so I know that even this body You call a temple that honors Your holy name comes from You! You formed me, I belong to You! I know, my God, that You examine my heart and rejoice when You find integrity there. You know that I have sought after You with good motives and I have offered my time, talents, resources willingly and joyously.

O LORD, the God of our ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, make me want to always be obedient to You, to listen to the instructions you give to me and apply them in my life. See to it that my love for You never changes. And Father give my children the wholehearted desire to obey all Your commands, laws, and decrees and to do everything necessary to build up their own temples that serve You, for I have watched over them the best I could but it is You that raises them up. All glory to God the Father forever and ever who raised my brother, my Lord Jesus so that he would have many brothers and sisters! Amen   

Prayer Based on David's Prayer of Thanks 2 Samuel 7:18

July 31 2020

Father, when I think of all that You have given to me I think who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that You have brought us this far? And now, Sovereign LORD, in addition to everything You have already given to us, You speak of giving us Your servants a lasting dynasty! Do You deal with everyone this way, O Sovereign LORD?

What more can I say to You? Father only You know what Your servant is really like, You are a Sovereign LORD who knows my every deed, thought and word. Because of Your promise and according to Your will, You have done all these great things and have made them known to me Your servant. I am humbled before You. Your grace overwhelms me.

How great You are, O Sovereign LORD! There is no one like You. We have never even heard of another God like You! What other people on earth is like those who believe in You? What other people, O God, have You redeemed from slavery to be Your own people? You made a great name for Yourself when You redeemed us from that which kept us apart from knowing You from things that were too strong for us to overcome alone. You performed awesome miracles and drove out the people and gods that stood in our way. You made us Your very own people by our faith in what Jesus did for us forever, and You, O LORD, became our God, my God.

And now, O LORD God, I am Your servant. Like my brother Jesus I came to serve not be served. Do the things You have promised concerning me and my family. Confirm it as a promise that will last forever. And may Your name be honored forever so that everyone will say, “The LORD of Heaven’s Armies is God over everyone who believes in His name!” And may my house serve the LORD forever.

O LORD of Heaven’s Armies, God of Israel, I have been bold enough to pray this prayer to You because You have revealed all this to Your servant, saying, “I will build a house for You- a dynasty of kings!” For You are God, O Sovereign LORD. I know that Your words are truth and You have promised these good things to Your servant. And now, may it please You Father to bless the house of Your servant, so that it may continue forever before You. For You have spoken, and when You grant a blessing to Your servant, O Sovereign LORD, I believe it is an eternal blessing! All glory to God forever and ever the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus! Amen

Prayer Based on Hannah's Prayer of Praise 1 Samuel 2

July 30 2020

Father, my heart rejoices in the LORD! The LORD has made me strong. Now I have an answer for my enemies. I rejoice because You rescued me. No one is holy like the LORD! There is no one besides You. There is no Rock like our God.

When I observe those who don’t know You I want to say “Stop acting so proud and haughty! Don’t speak with such arrogance! For the LORD is God who knows what you have done. He will judge your actions.” But like my brother once said "forgive them, they know not what they do."

I have seen the bow of the mighty broken and those who stumbled are now strong. Those who were once well fed are now starving, and those who were starving are now full. The childless woman now has seven children, and the woman with many children wastes away.

I know that the LORD gives both death and life. He brings some down to the grave but raises others up. The LORD makes some poor and others rich. He brings some down and lift others up. He lifts the poor from the dust and the needy from the garbage dump. He sets them among princes, placing them in seats of honor. For all the earth is the LORD’s, and He has set the world in order.

I know that He will protect His faithful ones, but the wicked will disappear in darkness. I have seen that no one succeeds by strength alone. Those who fight against the LORD will be shattered. He thunders against them from heaven. The LORD judges throughout the earth. He gives power to His king. He increases the strength of His anointed one. All glory to God the Father of my Lord and brother Jesus Christ! Amen

Not Just One Prayer

July 29 2020

When I began to read the Word for myself the only words I ever spoke to God in 30 plus years was the our Father prayer found in Matthew 6:9-13 and Luke 11 I didn't realize that praying to God was more than just repeating these words over and over again. My prayer life changed when I learned through the reading of His Word that people prayed to God usuing many words just as you would speak to anyone you had or were in relaiontship with.

So when I found other prayers  based on His Word, His promises I made sure to take note. I talk to my Father alot more these days and I am certain to declare His Words over my life not just the one prayer any more. The prayer below is found in Deuteronomy 7 it is titled "The Privelege of Holiness" in my NLT version of the Word. I figured after a month of sharing how I pray through Psalms you might want to see how the same format can be used for any prayers you make personal in your own life.


Father, You said in Your Word that when you have brought me into the place You promised me that You would clear away my enemies before me. Things that took the place of You like my struggle with addictions, depression, fears, doubt, distractions, discouragement things far to great for me to overcome on my own. That one by one You would take them down and hand them over to me to deal with. You instructed me to conquer and completely destroy these strongholds that kept me from knowing You. To make no compromises for or show them no mercy I had to completely extinguish, be rid of these things that have held my family back from taking hold of the promises You made to me or my children would have to struggle with the same enemies too.

So one by one I broke these negative pattterns of thinking down, I shattered them by Your Word when they appeared, I cut them down and burned them to the ground every time they tried to take the throne of the my thoughts captive and hold me down into a stronghold of weakness I overcame them by Your Word. I told them where they could go and I imagined my brother tying them up and taking the keys back to His kingdom and putting himself back on the throne of my thoughts.

For I am a holy people chosen by You there is no place in my mind for immoral thoughts. Of all the people on the earth You chose me to believe in You and I became Your own special treasure by drawing near in relationship to You.

You did not set Your heart on me because I was so rich, so popular, so wise or so strong. I was the youngest in my family and I had seen the enemy of this world take my father, mother, sister and brother and I was not going to let him take me and my family too. You chose me not to walk a different path. You instilled in me a greater strength, a greater courage, a greater chance to overcome the things of this world that held them down would not hold me down too. Simply because I believed that You loved me and would keep the oath You had sworn to my ancestors long ago though for as many generations as I can look back none of them honored You as I do.

That is why with Your strong hand You pulled me out of the slavery to the people of this world I was bound to. You took me out of the things that were keeping me oppressed and freed me from the prison of bondage to show me that You are indeed God. That there is a power greater in me that helps me to overcome the things in this world. You are a faithful God who keeps His covenant for thousands of generations and lavishes Your unfailing love on those who love You alone and choose to walk in the ways you set before them, using Your son as my example on how to live on the earth and not be of the earth for this is not our home we  Satan might have made hell look good but it's still hell, the place you threw him down to is the same place Jesus called him the ruler of. I am simply a foreigner passing through like my ancestors before me this is not my home my home is with You.

Before coming to know You and the promises You made to me You did not hesitate to punish, destroy and reject me for doing what was wicked in Your sight. I always reaped the weeds I had sown in life and now for the first time my life is fruitful only because the commands I follow come from You.

Since You have taught me to fix my eyes on You and Your Word You have kept Your promise to love me with unfailing love more than I deserve. Thank You for loving and blessing me and my children. Thank You for making us prosperous. Thank You for giving us large harvest, the new life You stored up for me to live is nothing like the way I lived before. You have blessed me far above those who put their trust in this world. Thank You for protecting me from illness and terrible diseases that my ancestors suffered before me. Thank You for helping me to conquer my enemies.

I do not take for granted all that You have allowed me to do. For You have given me plenty examples throughout my life of Your greatness, Your favor, Your provision and I know this way of life would be impossible without You. I remember the times You saved me from death, famine, even people whose purpose was to cause me harm. I saw the great terrors you sent them. I witnessed their downfall when You gave them a life of hardship, illness, frustration and struggle till they lost their minds. I remember the miraculous signs and wonders and your strong hand of power that took me out of living in darkness for the only thing I fear now is missing out on the life You promised. I had already wasted half my life thinking I could find life in the darkness. You even protected me from things I had no idea were trying to destroy me.

As a result I no longer fear the things of this world for I know that something greater than this world is with me and You are a great and awesome God. You drove out all my enemies one by one You didn’t take them out all at once though You had the power to. You taught me what it means to be powerful and excercise that power to do what is good. You threw them in complete confusion till they destroyed themselves for the schemes they plotted against Your people. You erased their memories so they didn’t even have the sense to stand up against me and You destroyed them I didn't have to if you wait long enough the wicked fall into their own traps.

I do not make idols of things in this world, I do not worship statues and charms that have no power, I do not pray to any saints the only one that has my complete devotion is You. For if I did I know that You would destroy me just as You destroyed those who worship emptiness a life of emptiness is their only reward. You have taught me to utterly detest things set apart for destruction lest I be carried away with them. For this I give glory to the LORD of my Lord who taught me to only keep my heart fixed on You! Amen   

Prayer Based on Deuteronomy 28 Entitled Blessings for Obedience

July 28 2020

Father thank you for helping me to obey the commands You give to me each day. I couldn’t live this way of life without You. You said in Your Word that if I live in this way You would set my thoughts higher than those who live in this world. I would experience so many wonderful blessings by putting my trust in You and following the commands You give to me each day. As a result my house is blessed, my children are blessed, my job is blessed, my food is blessed, wherever I go and whatever I do it is my firm belief that I am blessed by You.

Thank You for conquering my enemies when they attacked me. Thank You for guaranteeing a blessing on everything I do. Thank You for the provision You have given to me. Thank You for blessing me in the place You have placed me.

Thank You for helping me to walk in Your ways. Thank You for choosing me to believe in You and be a witness to all that You do. And sharing my testimony with the world that I am someone claimed by You. Thank You for making me to be prosperous in the land you swore to my ancestors that You would give to me. Thank You for blessing my son and everything we put our hands to do.

Thank You for sending provision to meet our needs with plenty leftover to share with those in need. Thank You for blessing all the work we do, thank You for teaching us that You are our provider. As a result we lend to many but have never needed to borrow from them. By listening each day to the commands You give to us and following through with the things You commanded us to do You have made us the head and no longer the tail. We are always on top of things and not falling behind. For this we will live each day to serve You. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen 

Prayer Based on Leviticus 27 entitled Blessings for Obedience

July 27 2020

Father, thank You for providing me with my daily provision to meet my needs. Because of You I am prosperous not just in wealth but I am fruitful in the gifts of the Spirit that come from You. A harvest money can’t buy- love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Your Word has taught me that I will reap what I sow. In the past I sowed everything opposite of the fruit and reaped that way of life but now my seasons of planting also have harvest in them, and my harvest overlaps with the season I am sowing so I am never lacking in any good thing You give to me. I am blessed to be a blessing. Thank you that there is no lack of the fruit of the Spirit or famine in my life, it overflows and I live securely in the land You gave to me.

Apart from You the one thing I sought most in this life was peace of mind and heart and now there is peace in me because it comes from You. I am now able to sleep soundly with no cause for fear or worry or stress of what tomorrow might hold for I know that whatever may come You are holding me.

I no longer live in fear of the unexpected for You taught me that every day of my life was written before a day had passed. What is a surprise to me is no surprise to You and You have equipped me to handle all the days of my life. You have kept the enemy of doubt, dread, discouragement, distraction, defeated mentality out of my mind with Your truth. In fact, I chased down my fears and revealed them with the Sword of Your Word. When I am gathered with my friends of faith we can take down ten thousand lies the enemy told us that kept us from knowing You. Iron sharpens iron. All my enemies have fallen beneath Your sword. I can live in this world and not be of it for I fear less in this world and believe even more in the power of Your Word.

Thank You Father for looking favorably on me, my life is living proof of that. You made my life an example to many and brought Your people back to You. Thank You for fulfilling Your covenant with me. You said in Your Word that I would have everything I need and that is completely true. I even have plenty left over to share with others as You said I would. It is obvious that You live among us and You do not despise me for my sinful nature before knowing You. That is why You sent Your son to reconcile me to You. I know I gave You plenty of reasons to despise me but Your love for me was relentless. You walk life with me now. You are my God and I am Your people. For You have said I am the LORD your God. You declared it. You proved that You were greater than my captives so that I would no longer be a slave to people. You broke my yoke of slavery from my neck of always trying to pleasing this world and instead turned my eyes toward You so that I could walk with my head held high always looking up to You. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen

Prayer Based on Psalm 33

July 26 2020

Father, I sing for joy to the LORD; I know that it is fitting for those You have made pure to praise You. I praise the LORD with melodies that I sing to Him daily. I make music for Him with instruments I know to play. I sing a new song of praise to Him. I play an instrument skillfully and sing with joy to my God.

For His Words have held true to me, through them He has taught me to trust everything He does. My Father loves whatever is just and good in this world. His unfailing love fills the earth daily, continually, constantly for those who would take time to look up and notice it.

The LORD merely spoke and the sky, the clouds, the moon and sun were created. He breathed the word, and all the stars were born. He assigned the sea its boundaries and locked the oceans in vast reservoirs. Let the whole world fear the LORD whom all was created and let everyone stand in awe of His majesty. For when He spoke, the world began! It appeared at His command.

Throughout my life the LORD frustrated my plans and thwarted all my schemes when they were not part of His plans for me. For the LORD’s plans stand firm forever; His intentions for me can never be shaken. What joy for people whose God is the LORD, the people He has chosen as His inheritance. For even Jesus said “You did not choose me I chose you.” Thank You Father for choosing me to know You.

The LORD looked down from heaven and saw the whole human race. From His throne He observed all who lived on the earth. He made their hearts, so He understands everything they do which hearts have been hardened by this world and which ones are still malleable like the clay they were created from.

Even the best-equipped army cannot save a king. Nor is great strength enough to save a warrior. I don’t count on my efforts to give me victory- for all the strength of this world could not save me the only One who was able to save me was the LORD Himself.

But the LORD watched over me because I feared what He could do not what man could do to me, I relied on His unfailing love to see me through. He rescued me from death and kept me alive in times of famine. I put my hope in the LORD. He is my help and my shield. In Him my heart rejoices, for I trust in His holy name. Let Your unfailing love surround me, LORD, for my hope is in You alone. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen 

Prayer Based on Psalm 32

July 25 2020 

Father, oh what joy you have given me for forgiving my disobedience. I know that by Your son my sins are put out of sight! Yes, what joy I have because the LORD has cleared my record of guilt. He has cleared me of my sins. My life is now lived in complete honesty open for anyone to see.

When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away. I was sick with aches and pains all the time and the pain of my illness made me tired and weary all day long. When I woke up I was tired when I went to bed I was exhausted. It takes a toll on the body to keep sin hidden.

Day and night my Father’s hand of discipline was heavy on me because He knew what I had done even if I hid it from the world. My strength evaporated like water on concrete in the summer heat because I know now that my strength comes from God.

I finally, confessed all my sins to God and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the LORD.” And I did one by one. I said I was sorry for all the times I backstabbed people to get ahead, for all the times I blamed God for reaping the evil I sowed. When I was disrespectful, proud and boastful, filled with lust and the evil desire to do what was wrong. When I was greedy and didn’t care about anyone but what was good for me. When I put money, jobs, things and the people of this world before God. The big ten weren’t enough sins for me to break I had do even more.

I was disobedient to God and the wisdom He tried to teach me refusing to understand. Stubbornly following my own path. I broke promises with no intent in keeping my word because there was no truth in me. I was heartless and showed no mercy. I practiced sexual immorality, I was impure with lustful pleasures, I practiced sorcery by wishing ill will on many and I had a bad attitude toward anyone that got in my way. I was so jealous of others who had a better life than me. I had outburst of anger. I was self ambitious. I divided people with gossip, I was envious. I drank myself senseless to numb the rage, bitterness, anger, harsh words people said of me and I said of others. I slandered them with foul and abusive language. I had nothing good to say of people. I was a deceitful, hypocrite.

My Father gave me a vision as I wept on my back porch He brought me to the foot of the cross and showed me a man whipped to the bone, beaten unrecognizable and left with nothing but a loin cloth to cover himself. Blood dripped from head to toes from the thorns and nails this world said that he deserved for believing God could love a defiled in sin human being. My brother was sinless. 

For every sin I committed he took my place, my shame, my guilt, my disgrace. He looked at me and said I will take her place so that she can take my life on the earth. To him an even exchange, his life for my life… and just like that my Father forgave me of every single sin! In that moment all my guilt was gone.

Therefore, I pray to You Father for the years I remain on this earth. That I may not drown in the floodwaters of judgement for this world has already been judged for not believing in Your son. For You are my hiding place; You protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory. And every day I am given I praise my God.

The LORD says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise and watch over You. Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.”

I have seen that many sorrows come to the wicked I know because my own life was filled with many sorrows once before returning to God, but His unfailing love surrounded me when I learned to put my trust in the LORD not in anything in this world. So I rejoice in the LORD and I am glad. My brother said that in obedience there is love, by being obedient we remain in His love. It isn’t enough just to listen what He says but to also do what He taught for when we do what He says we show that we trust in God. Now I shout for joy, for He has made my heart pure something the world could never do. All glory to You my Father, my God, who sent my brother, my Lord to save me from this life of darkness and bring me into his life of light! Amen

Prayer Based on Psalm 31

July 24 2020

Father, When I am worried or distressed by my circumstances I am thankful that I can come to You for protection. You will not let me be disgraced. You have saved me many times before through out my life I wouldn’t be standing here today had You not come through for me in the past, for I know that You do what is right all the time every day of my life. Many times You have turned Your ear to listen to me so I know that You are listening even now. You have rescued me quickly. You are my rock of protection. A fortress where I can find safety. Yes, You are my rock and my fortress. For the honor of Your name, You have lead me out of danger, You will continue to lead me out of danger. For You are the same God that saved my ancestors yesterday, saves me today, will save me tomorrow.

You pulled me from the trap that my enemies set for me. I find protection in You alone, I cry out to only You. As my brother Jesus did, I entrust my spirit into Your hand. You have rescued me in the past Father thank You for proving to me that You are a faithful God. Glory to God!

I hate those who turn to the things of this world to save them. I trust in the LORD. I am glad and I rejoice in Your unfailing love, for You have seen my troubles and You care about the anguish of my soul. You did not hand me over to my enemies but set me in a safe place beside You while You dealt with my enemies.

You gave me mercy the moment You sent Your son. LORD, for you saw how the distress of the world weighed heavy on me. You saw the tears that blurred my vision from all the heartache and mistreatment that surrounded me. My body and soul were withering away. I was dying from grief; my years were shortened by my sadness. Sin had drained my strength; I was wasting away from within. And You sent Your son to bend down to the earth and save me.

I was scorned by all my enemies and despised by those close to me- even my friends were afraid to comfort me. When they saw me on the street, they walked the opposite way hoping not to have to talk to me. My pain was ignored as if I were dead. As if I was a broken pot in the gutter. I heard the many rumors about me and I was surrounded by terror. My enemies conspired against me, plotting to take my life. But You reached down and saved me.

And now I am trusting you, O LORD, saying, “You are my God!” My future is in Your hands. For Your rescued me from those who hunted me down relentlessly You were even more relentless in Your pursuit of me. Your favor shined on my Your servant as You said before I didn’t choose You, You chose me. In Your unfailing love, You rescued me. You did not let me be disgraced, O LORD, when I called out to You for help You responded to me. When asked why I was afraid to believe and I said honestly what if You’re not real and You said What if I Am? My life changed the day I heard You call my name. Since then I have seen the wicked be disgraced. I have seen them lie silent in the grave never to rise again for You silenced their lying lips- the proud and arrogant lips of those that accused me of being anything less than godly. Shame no longer has a hold of me. Condemnation no longer tears me down. I know what my brother did and said when he said it was finished I was done with these things.

How great is the goodness You stored up for me because now the only person I fear is missing out on the goodness You have for me. You lavish it on me because I came to You for protection. You blessed them before the watching world. You hid me in the shelter of Your presence, safe from those who would conspire against me. You sheltered me in Your presence, far from people who accuse me of wrong.

I praise You Father, for You have shown me the wonders of Your unfailing love. You kept me safe when my city was under attack. In panic I cried out, “I am cut off from the LORD!” But immediately You heard my cry for mercy and answered my call for help. You are with me.

I love the LORD, more than my life on this earth I gladly lay it down and give it up to be closer to God! For the LORD protected me from the things of this world because of my loyalty to Him. I know that my Father deals harsh punishment to those who believe they are gods and don’t need God to save them. They are forced to live life in confusion and frustration with everything they do until they are completely destroyed for doing what was evil and abandoning God. I know because that is how I lived for 30 plus years of my life. He has taught me to be strong and courageous, to put my hope in the LORD! Not in this world or people of it or even myself and because of His strength, His perseverance and endurance I have been able to walk in this world and no longer be fearful of it. 

For this I give glory to God forever and ever for sending me a Savior of His flesh and blood. Not someone who never experienced what life was like on earth, but someone who lived it and could show me how to overcome this world by the power of His Word! Amen 

Prayer Based on Psalm 30

July 23 2020

Father I exalt You as my LORD, for You have rescued me. You refused to let my enemies conquer me. O LORD my God, I cried to You for help and You restored my health. You brought me up from the grave, O LORD. You kept me from falling into the pit of death. I praise You Father for all these wonderful things.

I sing praise to the LORD. Now I know why all Your godly ones sing praises Your holy name. For Your anger lasts only a moment, but Your favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning. Thank You Father for saving me.

When I depended on my wealth to save me I said in arrogance “Nothing can stop me now!” I thought Your favor, O LORD, made me as secure as a mountain. But I was wrong. When I didn’t honor You with my resources and acknowledge my blessing came because of You. You turned away from me and in an instant the wealth I counted on completely disappeared. Because I counted on my wealth to give me joy when the money was gone I was shattered with it.

I cried out to You in my despair, O LORD. Like my ancestor Job prayed for Your mercy I begged You for mercy too, saying, “What will You gain if I die, if I sink to the grave? Can my dust praise You? Can it tell of Your faithfulness? Hear me, Father, and have mercy on me. Help me, O LORD.”

And just like that You turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You took away my clothes of morning and clothed me with Your joy, that I might sing praises to You and not be silent. So I sing daily to You Father, even in the storms. O LORD my God, I will give You thanks forever and ever with every breathe I have I give glory to You! Amen     

Prayer Based on Psalm 29

July 22 2020

Father hear my prayer as I lift my voice to give honor to You. I honor the LORD for His glory and strength. I honor the LORD for the glory of His name. I worship You Father in the splendor of Your holiness.

I have heard the voice of the LORD echoes above the seas. The God of glory thunders when He speaks. The LORD thunders over the mighty seas. The voice of the LORD is powerful and majestic beyond anything I have heard. The voice of the LORD can split a mighty cedar tree. The LORD splinters the cedar as though it was a toothpick. My Father made people who thought they were mountains skip like a calf; He made Mount Hermon leap like a young wild ox.

Father, the sound of Your voice strikes with bolts of lightning. Your voice makes the barren wilderness shake. The LORD make the wilderness of Kadesh tremble with fear. The voice of the LORD can even twist a mighty oak. When He commands it He can cause the deer to writhe in labor bringing an animal to its knees if He wanted it to be so. His voice can strip a forest bare. And everyone who worships the LORD in His Temple rejoices with shouts of “Glory!” to see the new things be born.

Yes, the LORD rules over the floodwaters. The LORD reigns as King forever. It is the LORD that gives people strength and blesses them with peace each and every day. As my brother Jesus taught me, I praise You Father, giving glory to my God, my LORD forever and ever! Amen

Prayer Based on Psalm 28

July 21 2020

Father, I pray to You, O LORD, my rock. You have not turned a deaf ear to my prayers so I continue to lift my voice to You. For if You were silent, I would have given up and died at my enemies hands. But time and time again You listened to my prayers for mercy as I cried out to You for help, I lifted my hands toward Your holy sanctuary and You answered every prayer I spoke.

You did not drag me away with the wicked- with those who do evil deed- those who speak kind words to their neighbors while plotting evil in their hearts. You gave them the punishment they so richly deserved! You measured it out in proportion to their wickedness. You paid them back for all their evil deeds! You gave them a taste of what they had done to others. They reaped what they sowed for they mocked Your justice. They cared nothing for what the LORD had done or for what His hands had made. So You tore them down, so that they could never be rebuilt! I praise You for this LORD! For You heard my cry for mercy. You did not ignore my prayers.

Father you are my strength and shield. I trust in You with all my heart. You help me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving, lifting up Your holy name. Father I know that any strength I have comes from You because I was so weak when I came to You. You are a safe fortress for Your anointed king who lives in me. I know that You will save Your people! As You have done so many times before. Bless those who believe that You are real. I am your special possession, I am Your inheritance, the seed of fruit that comes from You. You lead them like a shepherd, and carry me in Your arms forever. For this I glorify Your name forever! Amen 

Prayer Based on Psalm 27

July 20 2020

Father, You are my light and my salvation- so why should be afraid of the things that happen in this world? You are my fortress protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble at the news or people? When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, I know they will stumble and fall for You are with me. Though a mighty army surrounds me, I will remind my heart not to be afraid. I may feel fear but I will fight anyway. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident that You will save me. For You have shown me to live in on the earth to be Christ like and if I die it is to be with him so either way this is a victorious day.

The one thing I ask daily for Father- the thing I seek the most- is to live in Your house to be with my LORD every day of my remaining time on earth. I enjoy the time we spend together seeing the example of Your perfections and meditating in Your Temple. For You will conceal me in Your Word when there is trouble. You hide me in Your sanctuary so I need not fear. You have placed me out of reach on a high rock. I am seated and at rest beside You observing from afar.

I can hold my head up high above my enemies who surround me. In Your sanctuary I offer the sacrifices of thanksgiving with shouts of joy, singing and praising the LORD with music. You have heard me when I prayed O LORD. You have been merciful and answered me!

My heart heard You say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “Father, I am returning to You.” You did not turn Your back on me. You did not reject me Your servant in anger by pushing me away instead You drew closer to me. For You have always been my helper even when I didn’t acknowledge You, You were there for me, watching and waiting for me to turn to You. You did not leave me here to live alone. You did not abandon me, O God for You are my salvation the One I turn to!

Even when my father abandoned me and You called my mother home, Father I know now it was so that You could hold me close. Raising me, teaching me how to live in this world and not be of it, O LORD, thank You for leading me along the right path. For You saw ahead and knew my enemies were waiting for me waiting to devour me thinking I was alone. You did not let me fall into their hands. For they accused me of things I’ve never done. They tried to convince I was good for nothing. With every breath they tried to tear me down not a single word they said built me up, encouraged me or counseled me in my distraught.

Yet I was confident it would be over soon that I would the LORD’s goodness see You come through for me while I am here in the land of the living. And You did Father, You came to my rescue as I waited patiently for the LORD. I will be brave and courageous like all my ancestors before and my brother Jesus taught me to. Yes, I will wait patiently for the LORD for He never fails or forsakes me. All glory to God, my Father and LORD forever and ever! Amen  

Prayer Based on Psalm 26

July 19 2020

Father, You have declared me innocent the moment I truly believed that You sent your son to intercede on my behalf, O LORD, You know that since then I have acted with integrity. I have trusted in You alone without wavering. You have put my faith on trial many times since, LORD, and cross-examine my ways to see if my faith is true. You tested my motives and saw my heart of intention. For I am constantly aware of Your unfailing love for me and I have vowed to live according to Your truth.

Since following You I no longer spend my time with liars or go along with hypocrites. I hate the gatherings of those who plot to do evil and I have refused to join them in their wickedness. I have been washed of all guilt and condemnation by keeping my eyes fixed on what Jesus did for me. So that by his wounds I can be made innocent before You. I come to Your altar, Father, singing songs of gratitude and telling anyone who would listen of all the wonders You have performed for me. I love Your sanctuary, LORD, the place where Your glorious presence dwells.

Because of my faith in Jesus I do not believe the devils lies that You will make me suffer the same fate of sinners. That You will not condemn me along with murderers. For Jesus already that price, he paid the penalty for my sins in full. Their hands have been made dirty with their evil schemes and they constantly sway their opinion based on popular belief. But I am no longer like that, I have been set apart to believe in You. I have been washed clean by the sacrifice Your precious son gave to me. I look to Your truth to show me what it means to live a life of integrity. No longer do I look to this world to show me how to live. For You have redeemed me and shown me great mercy. Now I stand on the solid ground of Your Word which is the firm foundation I stand on now and it never changes or shifts by popular opinion. I publicly praise You, My Father, My LORD. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen 

Prayer Based on Psalm 25

July 18 2020

Father, I give my life to You. I trust in You, my God! You have taught me that grace comes from you. Not this world. I do not rely on my enemies to give me grace so they can’t disgrace me or rejoice in my defeat. I fight from a place of victory not for it. Because I put my trust in You I cannot be disgraced because I know where my grace comes from. Disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others, who don’t know You. Who trick people into believing the lies that grace comes from men not You.

Show me the right path to take Father. Point out the road and make it clear for me to follow. Lead me by Your truth and teach me Father. For You are the only God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in You. I remember that You are the God of compassion and unfailing love. You have shown me and my ancestors this truth for more years than I can count. I beg you not to remember the rebellious sins I did before I knew You. Please remember me in the light of Your unfailing love. For You are merciful God, O LORD.

Father, You are good and do what is right. You showed me the proper path to go when I went astray. You lead in doing what was right when I humbled myself and made You the LORD of my life. You taught me Your ways. You lead me with unfailing love and faithfulness and showed me that all who you’re Your covenant obey what You tell them to do. Your Word was not just meant to be read but applied.

For the honor of Your name, Father, forgive my many, many sins. Because I have chosen to fear only You, You have shown me the path I should choose. I live in prosperity and my children will inherit the land. I am no longer Your enemy separated from You by my evil actions, You treat me as a friend. You have taught me the countless promises You made to mankind things to look for and expect from those who serve You. My eyes are always in Your Word for You have rescued me from this world and the traps that my enemies meant for me to stumble on.

You have turned to me and had mercy on me. You saw me when I was alone and in deep distress. And You reached out and comforted me. When my problems went from bad to worse You were there protecting me. You saved me from all of my struggles! You felt my pain and saw my troubles. You forgave all my sins. You saw how many enemies I had and how viciously they hated me! But through it all You protected me! You rescued my life from them! You did not let me be disgraced, for in You I took refuge. Now integrity and honesty protect me. For I put my hope in You, Father. You ransomed me because I believed You could and You did not fail me. All glory to God my Father who showed me grace by sending His son for me. All glory to God for being my refuge in trouble, my protector in times of weakness and sorrow. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen   

Prayer Based on Psalm 24

July 17 2020

Father, the earth is Yours and everything in it. The world and all its people belong to You. For You laid the earth’s foundation on the seas and built it on the ocean depths. When I step outside and look at my surroundings all I see is Your hand in everything You made.

Who may climb to the mountain of the LORD? Who may stand in Your holy place? Is it only those whose hands and hearts have been pure since birth. I used to think that way that’s why I never came to You. Is it only those who never worshipped the things in this world and never told a single lie? Are they the only ones allowed to stand in Your presence? I used to think they were the only ones that were blessed by You. Who had a right relationship with God their savior. I didn’t see You sent a savior for me.

But You said in Your Word that no one is sin less in Your eyes and if they are they are lying because that would mean they don’t need You. If merit alone could save us why would we need saving? Faith is what is required as for everyone else thank God for Jesus! Because without him I dare not come to this mountain. I dare not stand beside You if my brother isn’t standing with me.

His blood made my hands pure, his sacrifice warmed my cold heart and breathed his life into me to make me pure. He gave me his strength to turn away from the weak and useless things of this world and follow in His steps by turning to You. He opened my eyes to see Your truth so that I could stand in Your presence. Because of him I am blessed beyond anything I could have imagined. Because of him I have a right relationship with You and for that I thank You Father, for sending my savior so that I could be near You. Because of Jesus I am free to seek You and worship in Your presence without a single fault not because I don’t have any but because He bore them for me. If I am alive on earth it is proof that I have not reached perfection, I am being perfected just like everyone else too. This is not our home because the ruler of this world is not You.

I love that You are the God of Jacob. My ancestor whose Hebrew name means deceiver. I know this well because before coming to Jesus I was a deceiver too. Yet You were His God too not the God of a perfect sinless man but the God of a man whose heart was right with You. He fought all night for a blessing from You. And just before dawn You changed His name to Israel because He fought with both men and even struggled to believe in You and You said he won. His faith was made true. If he didn’t believe it he would have given up but he kept holding on to You no matter what.

You renamed him Israel because it means God fights. There was a time You fought against me too because my evil actions separated me from You but now You fight for me. So when I see that “You are the God of Jacob”. It serves to remind me that You are the God of imperfect people like my ancestor was. You are my God because like Jacob I too once fought against You and now You fight for me, with me.

Open up, this heart of stone! Open up, reveal to me anything that keeps me from trusting in You, and let the King of glory enter in my life, make Your presence known to me. Who is the King of glory? The LORD, who is both strong and mighty. The LORD who is invincible in battle as my brother said For who is powerful enough to enter the house of a strong man like Satan and plunder his goods? Only someone even strong- someone who could tie him up and then plunder his house…someone greater than the one that lives in this world. Yes break open this heart of mine to receive You! Open this my closed mind to believe You and let the King of glory enter in me. Who is the King of glory? The LORD of Heaven’s Armies the God who created the sun, the moon, the stars, the sky, the clouds, the earth, everything and everyone in it - He is my King of glory who sent his son so that I might know who He was too. All glory to You Oh God, my Father, the LORD of my Lord, the King of my king forever and ever! Amen  

Prayer Based on Psalm 23

July 16 2020

Father, You are my shepherd, You watch over me. You have given me everything I need to live a godly life in an ungodly world among a majority of those who don’t follow You. I need nothing this world can offer me that doesn’t come from You. I find my rest in peaceful place that You lead me to. My day begins and ends with You and I take peaceful paths untroubled by fear, stress, worry. My faith is firmly on You. Your Words renew my strength daily. You know how weak I was without You. The shell of a person I was that this world had left me. I completely rely on You to refresh me daily. You guide me along the right paths to walk. My victory over each day fills me with praise to give honor to Your name.

Even at times in my life when You allow me to walk through a human experience that I have never been through before a time of uncertainty this I am certain that each hour that ticks by I do not walk in fear of the unknown because You have made Yourself known to me. It fills me with courage to know that You are close beside me I do not walk alone.

Your rod keeps my eyes fixed steady on the straight path. I am not a tree where I am planted and have no choice but to be where I am I can easily get up and move or if I am in a bed or a cell I can easily fix my thoughts on You and Your Word so that I do not waver from left to right I am not easily swayed by the things this world says trying to instill fear on me the only one I should fear is You. I do not veer off the lane You have assigned to run distracted by worldly things this human race is between you and I not the person I run beside.

Your staff protects and comforts me when I struggle to take another step I use to say life can be so hard to live, I used to pray that You would draw my breath but then I looked to Jesus who took every pain staking step for me and I know that Your staff is there to help me to know that this is the way of life for every living soul.

You prepare a feast for me with all my enemies present to watch. You bless me, protect me, provide for me and comfort me what more could anyone want from this life. I am sure it fills my enemies with jealousy and rage to see me get up and still take my place to stand with You, still take my seat at the table and sit beside You, feasting on the good gifts You have given to me for all the struggles I have had to endure that this world plotted for me to fail. Double is my portion You said for every trial this world puts me through to get me to believe in it not in You. My brother taught me the enemy comes only to steal my hope, kill my faith, and destroy my love for You but You sent him to prove and to be my example that I am well able to live a rich and satisfying life apart from the things of this world.

You honor me by pouring out Your Spirit and anointing my head with the oil so that it covers me from head to toe. When I look more closely the cup of my life has overflowed with blessings everywhere I go. Thank You Father for every good and perfect thing that has come from Your hand to mine. You did not leave me alone to rot in this world. I know that Your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life on this earth even on days I can’t see it clearly, I wake and watch for it. I wait for You to do the miraculous and wonderous things only You can do. I live to study Your Word draw near to You, to hear Your truth speaking encouragement, comfort and counsel and to remind me of every promise You have spoken over me, to worship You LORD forever. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen 

Prayer Based on Psalm 22

July 15 2020

Father, there have been times in my life that I have felt like You had abandoned me for the wicked I had done. Like You were far away when I groaned for help from the consequences of my evil actions. Every day I called out to You, my God, but I do not hear You answer. I knew that every night You heard my voice, but still I found no relief from my worry, my stress, my struggle whatever it was that I was dealing with that I could not endure.

Yet still I know that You are holy. That You reside in the praises of those who believe You are with us. My ancestors trusted in You and You rescued them. They cried out to You and You saved them. They trusted in You and were never disgraced. Like them I put my trust in You, I cry out to You and I know that You will come to my rescue. I will not be disgraced because You have taught me that my grace comes from You not from what human think of me or say or do to me. Humans have no power to take away what they did not give they cannot take grace away. Grace comes from Your son.

I am reminded in the story of his crucifixion that the enemy mistreated my brother as though he was a worm not even human so why should I expect to be treated any less being from the same family. He was scorned and despised by all! Everyone who saw him mocked him for believing that You were His Father that He came from You. I consider myself blessed to be counted in the same company as him it just serves to confirm that I am of You.

The enemy sneered and shook their heads, saying, “Is this the one who relies on the LORD? Then let the LORD save him! If the LORD loves him so much, let the LORD rescue him!” and You did Father and they shook no longer from disbelief they trembled with fear because he spoke truth, You rescued him from death. I know that You are the same God yesterday, today and tomorrow. You are the same God that saves His children from that which is meant to destroy them. They can have this body but the soul will go to the One who gave it.

You sent me safely through my mother’s womb. You led me to trust in You in the way that You watched over me, provided for and protected me all my life even when I choose not to turn to You. I was thrust into Your arms at birth when I was abandoned by my father on the earth. You became my Father at birth. You did not stay so far from me, for when trouble was near and there was no one else to help me You appeared throughout my life. I know that I wouldn’t be here today had it not been for Your presence in my life.

The world was against me from the start, it surrounded me like vultures eager to tear me apart; fiercely ripping away at my confidence and dignity! I call my enemy lions because in a world that continually speak lies and hates the truth it roared and teared away at my self-esteem apart till I believed the biggest lie that I was not Yours. How could someone steeped in sin be worthy enough to claim to be Your child.

My life was nothing when I came to You. I wept from sorrow and self-pity at the way of life I was given. Illness made me ache to the bone. Bitterness, hatred and rage melted any goodness in my heart if there was any to be found. I had no strength to stand up for myself. My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth so I couldn’t even defend myself. I laid in the dust, left for dead waiting for this wretched way of life to end.

My enemies surrounded me like a pack of dogs; evil closed in on me eager to use me. And that is when You brought me to the foot of the cross, you made me to see how the people of this world pierced my brothers’ hands and feet. How they starved him till you could see his bones. And his enemies just stared and gloated at this spectacle of a man that called You his Father. They divided up his garments among themselves and threw dice to decide who would take his royal robe. Yet still to the very end He cried out to You and so do I. I know that I am nothing without You God. You are the only reason I am alive today. If I take a single breathe the God who has the power to withdraw it is the same God who has the Sovereignty to allow it.

As my own brother thought on the cross, “O Father, do not stay so far away! You are my strength; come quickly to my aid! Save me from the sword; spare my precious life from these dogs. Snatch me from the lion’s jaws and from the horns of theses wild oxen.”

My brother taught me to proclaim Your name to all who follow his footsteps, the path he laid. And like him I praise You among anyone who would has the ears to hear and the eyes to see. I give praise to the LORD, He is the only one whom I fear. Fear that I might miss out on the life my brother died to give, fear that I will die to this life and never had the courage to live it. I honor Him with the very life He gives to me. Just like my ancestor Jacob. I show Him reverence, just like my ancestors whom He fought for. For He has not ignored or thought little of my suffering when I was in need He helped me to endure. He has not turned His back on me. He has heard my cries for help just as He did for them He will do for me.

I praise You Father in front of everyone I know. Like my brother taught me I will fulfill the vow I made to You to those who also call on You. The poor in Spirit will eat of Your Word and be satisfied. All who seek the LORD will praise Him as I do. Their hearts will rejoice with a joy that cannot be taken because they will come to know that You are indeed with us. The whole earth will acknowledge the LORD and return to Him. All His chosen ones will bow down before Him. For royal power does not come from humans it comes from the LORD. He rules over all people.

Let those whose Spirit comes from the LORD feast on His good gifts and give thanks to the LORD, by bowing before Him and acknowledging that every good and perfect thing we have comes from You Father. May every mortal, whose physical life will end in dust, even our children serve You alone. It is an honor to tell future generations about the wonders of the LORD, the miracles He performed for us and it begins with the first son He sent to be our example of how to be a human being in this world and not be of it. His righteous acts will be told to those not yet born. And when they hear about everything his son did for them so that they might have a rich and satisfying life they will remember who their true Creator is, who their true Father is and like their brother they will know they were sent from heaven, not thrown out of it. All glory to God, my Father, My LORD who poured out His Spirit to us through Jesus forever and ever! Amen    

Prayer based on Psalm 21

July 14 2020

Father, how I rejoice in Your strength, O LORD! I shout with joy because You give me victory. For you have given me my heart’s desire. You have withheld nothing I requested. You welcomed me back with success and prosperity. You have placed a crown of knowledge, wisdom and understanding on my head.

I asked you to preserve my life, and You granted my request. The days of my life stretch forever because my life is found in Your Word. Your victory brings me great honor, and You have clothed me with splendor and majesty. You have endowed me with eternal blessings and have given me the joy of living in Your presence. Thank You, Father!

For I trust in the LORD. The unfailing love of the Most High has kept me from stumbling. You captured all Your enemies. Your strong right hand seized all who hated You. You threw them in the flaming furnace when You appeared. The LORD consumed them in His anger, Your fire devoured them. You wiped their children from the face of the earth so that they would never have descendants. Although they plot against You, Father their evil schemes will never succeed. For they will turn and run when they see Your arrows aimed at them.

Rise up, Father, in all Your power. Each day with music and singing I celebrate the mighty things You have done for me. All glory to You God forever and ever! Amen

Prayer based on Psalm 20

July 13 2020

Father when I go through times of trouble, I know that You answer my cry because You have done so many times before. Because You have answered in my past I cry out to You still now. I still hold onto the hope that You will answer me again. So that even when I am not in trouble I will take my eyes off my needs for You know every one and I will say a pray for those I love.

May the name of the God of my ancestors Abraham, Isaac and Jacob keep my loved ones safe from all harm. May God send them help from His sanctuary and strengthen them by giving them His peace in their minds and peace in their hearts. May He remember all their gifts and look favorably on the things they have freely given up.

May He grant their heart’s desires and make all their plans succeed as He has been so faithful to me. I will shout for joy when I hear of their victory and together we will raise up a victory banner in the name of our God. May the LORD answer all their prayers each single one.

I know that the LORD rescues for He rescued Jesus, His anointed king. He answered him from his holy heaven and rescued him by His great power. That is why I pray to our Father who rescued my brother from the grave, surely He will rescue us from anything for He has shown me that even death has no power over Him. Some people boast of their armies and weapons, but I boast in the name of the LORD my God. Those people will fall down and collapse, but I will rise up and stand firm. For my God gave victory to Jesus so that I could be victorious in His name! Our God is faithful to answer our cries for help. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen

Prayer Based on Psalm 19

July 12 2020

Father, each day when I wake to the sunrise or go outside at night to notice the moon and stars they remind me of how great and awesome You are. When I draw a deep breathe from the vast blue sky and white clouds high above it reminds me that You called them into existence just as You called me. Day after day these forces of nature speak loud and clear. Night after night they serve to make You known. They speak without a sound or word, yet their voice is heard throughout the world and seen by every human being who lifts their eyes to look up. I never bothered to notice them before until the day I noticed You working in my life.

You have made a home in the heavens for Your bright morning star. It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroom after His wedding welcoming the new day dawning. It can’t wait to get this day started, like a great athlete eager to run the race. The sun rises at one end of the heavens and follows its course to the other end. Just as our lives are lived from our first to our last breath. If I should be blessed to live 75 years it is already past noon according to my clock the sun in my life is now making its way down from the heat of the day. I know that no single day in my life shall pass without Your preapproval the sun reminds me of that.

Father, Your instructions are perfect they are meant to revive my soul. Your decrees are trustworthy, You made them simple for me to follow. Your commandments are right, they bring joy to my heart to know that You never wanted anything from me You only wanted what was good for me.

Your commands are clear, they gave me insight daily for how to live in this world and not be of it. My utmost respect for You is pure and as lasting as I am. Your laws are true, each one is fair. They are not too much to ask of me or too hard for me to follow. It is possible to live without feeling the need to lie, steal, cheat or cause harm to others when I live for You. This way of life is more desirable than gold, even the finest gold. Because no one can buy what you offer a life of live, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control. These fruits of the Spirit lived life are sweeter than honey, even fresh honey dripping from the comb. It is greater to give these fruits than to receive them. Blessed is the giver of these things.

How can I know the darkness that lurks in my heart? Father by the blood of Your son You have cleansed me from my hidden faults and shined a light so that I would know what my sins are. You keep me from deliberate sin knowing that You are with me, I am not alone! Sin no longer has control me with Your help I have self-control. I live free of guilt and condemnation, innocent of great sins against You. I can now enjoy Your companionship once again rather than live apart from You in shame. May the words I say and the things I think about be pleasing to You Father and the spirit of Your son who lives in me now, You are my rock and my redeemer it is because of both of You that I can live for today. All glory to God my Father who sent His Son to be my Savior! Amen    

Prayer Based on Psalm 18

July 11 2020

Father, I love You. You are the only reason I have strength to keep getting up each day. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my savior; my God is the rock I look to for protection. He is my shield, the power that save me, and my place of safety. I called on the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and He saved me from the negative thoughts and people who confirmed my thoughts I see now those things had the sole purpose of destroying me.

Many times in my life I felt like ropes of death were choking me. Floods of destruction swept over me trying to extinguish me. The grave wanted nothing more than to welcome me. Death laid a trap so that I would stumble and fall into it. But when I thought I was finished when I thought I couldn’t go I cried out to the LORD. Yes, I lifted my hands and voice and prayed to my God for help. He heard me from His sanctuary. My cry to Him reached His ears.

I imagine the earth quaked and trembled knowing that my Father was coming. It was as if the foundations of the mountains shook. For they knew they were in trouble they had experienced His anger before and knew He would not be pleased that the place He created for me was nothing less than welcoming.

If my Father were a dragon I would imagine that smoke would pour from His nostrils at the cry of His child. Fierce flames would leap from His mouth to destroy anything that treated me with contempt. His eyes would look like glowing coals blazed forth from Him. He opened the sky like a curtain and came down to earth; dark storm clouds were beneath His feet. I used to be afraid of the rain but now I know it is my Father visiting checking to see that His children are well in the place He created for them.

I imagine my Father appearing mounted on a bird with great wings. He soars on the wings of the wind He created. My Father shrouds Himself in darkness, veiling His approach with dark rain clouds. Thick clouds shield the brightness that surrounds Him and He rains down hail and lightning to clear the path for His approach.

The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded amid the hail and lightening. He shot His arrows and scattered His enemies, those who oppose Him and His children; His lightning flashed, and they were greatly confused. Then at Your command, Father, at the blast of Your breath, all my emotions the fear, the dread, the stress, the worry disappeared like ocean waves revealing the bottom of sea and foundations of the earth were laid bare. My mind became clear and I remembered who I was and why I am here.

You reached down from heaven and rescued me; You pulled me out of deep waters with Your mighty hand. You rescued me from my powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me.

They attacked me at a moment when I was weak. But the LORD supported me. He led me to a firm foundation where I need not be shaken. He rescued me because He delights in me. The LORD rewarded me for doing what was right. He restored me because of my innocence.

For I have kept the ways of the LORD; I have not turned from God to follow what is evil. I have followed all His regulations. Since coming to know Him I have not abandoned His decrees. Through the blood of Jesus I am blameless before God. I have kept myself from intentional sin. The LORD rewarded me for doing right. He has seen my innocence.

Father, to the faithful You show Yourself faithful. To those with integrity You show integrity. To the pure You show Yourself pure, but to the wicked You show Yourself hostile. Before knowing You I was fearful of punishment for the things I had done I didn’t want to know You because I was afraid because I didn’t know what You would do to me, surely nothing short of death is what I deserve but You revealed to me Your son.

You rescued me when I fell at Your feet, but when I acted as though I was my own god You humiliated me. You light a lamp for me. The LORD, my God, lights up my darkness this light helps me to see that I am not as good as it gets there still is work to be done in me.

In Your strength I can overcome my weakness. With my God I can face the things I thought I could never do. Your way is perfect Father I was foolish for doubting You. I know that all the LORD’s promises prove true because He has proven them to me. He is my shield when I finally looked to Him for protection. For who is God except the LORD? Who but God is a solid rock? God arms me with strength, and He makes my way perfect. He creates a path for my life so that I can walk with confidence knowing my God is with me. He helps me climb out of the valley and reach mountain tops so that I can see how great my God is. He trains my hands for battle. Gives me the words to speak. He strengthens my internally to defeat my external enemies. Father, You have given me Your shield of victory. Your right hand supports me. It is Your help that has made me great. You have made a wide path for my feet to keep them from slipping.

I stopped running from things that scared me and turned around and chased my enemies. I was relentless and did not stop until they were all conquered. I struck them down so they could not get up. They fell beneath my feet. For my Father has given me His strength He has armed me with strength for the battle of getting up every day. He has subdued my enemies under my feet so that I can easily defeat them. He has placed my foot on their necks and I have destroyed all who hated me.

They called for help, but no one came to their rescue. They even thought they could cry to the LORD, but He refused to answer because He knew their hearts did not believe He would come. I ground them up as fine as dust in the wind. They no longer mattered to me. No longer existed. I swept them into the gutter like the dirt they were created from. My Father has given me victory over my accusers. He has appointed me ruler over many; people I didn’t know before now serve me. As soon as they hear of all that God has done for me, they submit; cringe before me. My enemies have lost their courage and come trembling because their weakness has been exposed and I am not afraid of them anymore. What can mere people do.

I will shout “The LORD lives! Praise to my Rock! May the God of my salvation be exalted! He is the God who pays back those who harm me. He subdues the people under me and rescues me from my enemies.” Father, You hold me safe beyond the reach of my enemies. You save me from violent opponents so that no one raises their hand to me.

This is why I praise the LORD. I praise God among many people. I sing praises to His name. He gives great victories to His chosen king. He kept His promise to show unfailing love to His anointed one, to David and to all his descendants forever. All Glory to God forever and ever! Amen

Prayer Based on Psalm 17

July 10 2020

Father, hear my plea for justice. Listen to my cry for help. Pay attention to my prayer, for it comes from honest lips. Declare me innocent, for You see those who do right.

You have tested the thoughts that keep me up at night and examined my heart while I slept. You have scrutinized me and found nothing wrong. I am determined not to sin in what I say like my ancestors who complained in the desert for 40 years. Even complaints about my situation could keep You from bringing me out of this. I will not sin by what I say. I have followed Your commands, which keep me from following cruel and evil people. My steps have stayed on Your path, the path You set before me. I have not wavered from following You. Each day I wake trusting in your Word and seeking You.

I am praying to You because I know You will answer, Father. In the past I spoke to myself but now that I know You live in me, I bring my request to You and make them known. Bend down and listen as I pray. Show me Your unfailing love in wonderful ways.

I know that by Your power You rescue those who seek refuge from their enemies. Guard me as You would guard Your own eye because You live in me You see what I see. Hide me Father in the shadow of Your wings.

Protect me from wicked people who attack me, from enemies that try to destroy me who surround me day and night. They are without pity without mercy. Because you live in me I know that Your hear the things they tell me. Listen to their boasting! They track me down and surround me, watching for the chance to throw me to the ground. To defeat me with doubt, discouragement and lies. They don’t seek to encourage or build me up only to tear me down. You called the enemy a lion looking to devour anyone whose thoughts aren’t set on You. They are like hungry lions, eager to tear me apart- like young lions hiding in ambush waiting for my faith to fail, my hope to falter.

But I cry out to You “Arise, O LORD! Stand against them and bring them to their knees! Rescue me from the wicked with Your sword which is the Word of God as You have taught me!” By the power of Your hand, O LORD, destroy those who look to this world for their reward. Father in the past Your have satisfied me and I know that even now You will satisfy the hunger of Your treasured ones. May my children have plenty because I will leave them an inheritance to be passed down from generation to generation unlike the emptiness that was handed down to me. Because You are the righteousness in me, I know that I will see You in this place. When I awake, I will see You face to face and be satisfied that You are with me. All Glory to God the Father who sent his son of heaven to the earth! Amen   

Prayer Based on Psalm 16

July 9 2020

Father, keep me safe, O God, for I have come to You alone for refuge. I said to the LORD, “You are my Master! I know that every good thing I have comes from You.” For You have said every good and perfect things come from You Father. I trust in You. It is the godly people in this land that are the real heroes! I take pleasure in the things they do!

Troubles multiply for those who chase after other gods. I know because trouble chased after me for thirty plus years when You were not my God. But not anymore, now I refuse to take part by giving of my breathe, my body, my work, my time, my resources to those empty things or even speak the names of their gods.

Father, You alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing. You guard all that is mine. I look around and see that this land You have given to me is indeed a pleasant land. Thank You Father for this wonderful inheritance! I bless the LORD who guides my every move; even at night my heart instructs me to follow Your will. I know the LORD is always with me. I am not shaken by my circumstances for God is right beside me.

No wonder my heart is glad, and I shout continual praise to You. My body rests in safety for You have given me the peace of mind and heart this world cannot give. For no matter what happens to this body on the earth You will not leave my soul among the dead for You gave it to me and it will return to the One who gave it. You will not allow Your holy one to rot in the grave. The flesh will turn from the dust it came but the Spirit will rise. Through Your son You have shown how to live the way of life by Your truth and because I live for You, You fill me with a joy that doesn’t come from this world. The joy I have comes from knowing that I live in Your presence. All glory to God my Father forever and ever! Amen

Prayer Based on Psalm 15

July 8 2020

Father, these words were written before Your son came and tore the curtain to Your sanctuary in two. I used to think the only way I could be allowed to speak to You was if I was perfect. And we both know I was far from it when You called. I used to believe that the only people You wanted in Your presence was the ones who had been saved since birth. I thought I had to lead a blameless life and always do what was right. Or maybe it is only people who spoke the truth from sincere hearts and because You already know everything about me than You also know how often I have lied. I thought that if I refused to gossip or harm my neighbors or speak evil of my friends then maybe I would be allowed to speak to You. If I hated flagrant sinners and honored Your faithful followers perhaps maybe you could love me too. If I kept my promises even the ones I didn’t feel like keeping because it was inconvenient or cost more than what I was willing to give maybe then I could have a word with You. If ever in my own life I lent money without charging interest or did not take a bribe to lie about the innocent maybe, then I could have a seat with You. I thought, surely my Father only loves people who live this way they will stand firm forever. Sadly, I looked over my life and the first thing I thought was that I wasn’t good enough. I am guilty of all these things and the only saving grace I have on earth is that You sent Your son for not just me but everyone who fell short of Your glory. Even still I am not always perfect, but I am willing to be perfected. When I finally returned to You and humbled myself to ask for the help to be like Your son not the person I was. You said in Your Word that nothing I could ever do or not do reconcile me to You the only way was to believe that Your son did that for me. Because of his experience he made it possible for me to even believe that I could counted myself as righteous not because I am but because he is. If there is any righteousness in me now it is because the LORD is my righteousness. Not by anything I have done or did not do. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen

Prayer Based on Psalm 14

July 7 2020

Father when I think of about who I was before You gave me an awareness of You, before I made up my mind to return to You. When I thought I was the god of my life, I was in control better said out of control of my life. When I used my free will to see what my life was like apart from You I was such a fool to think for a moment to believe for a second in my heart that “There is no God.”

You are right to say I was corrupt, and all my actions were evil. You speak truth when You say I didn’t do a single good thing for others unless it was to serve myself. Unless the people I was being good to could pay me back. In a world that taught me if I scratch your back you’ll scratch mine. I learned that even when I was good to people, even when I did good to people who didn’t know You or acknowledge You who had the ability to choose to be good to me they always chose the lower path.

They back stabbed me at every opportunity they got. They cheated and lied if they knew they couldn’t get caught. There was no integrity, no morality, no self-control in people who are their own gods because the truth is there is no good to be found in them. Goodness is a fruit of the Spirit that comes from God, when it comes from what this world has taught it is not good, good is a weapon used to manipulate it is self-serving not selfless.

Father I know that when You look down from heaven on the entire human race, You search the hearts of everyone to see if there is anyone whose heart is true, a heart that is wise is a heart that seeks after You. And I know that You are looking. I know that You hear and see every deed we do whether hidden or in broad daylight.

But what You find instead of good is many who have used their free will to turn away from You, live apart from You. And in doing like myself, they have corrupted their eyes, ears, mind and hardened their hearts and have made themselves useless to doing what is good.

I thank God You pulled me out of my darkness into the awareness of Your presence that You shook me up when just moments after committing sin You said to me “What are you doing?” I knew well and good what I just did when I lived my life apart from You. My rule was if it felt good it was good, if it tasted good it was good and I had my fill of it. I deliberately woke each day to see what I could get away with. When You saw me I only confirmed Your truth “No one does good, not a single one!” Not even me and to think before Your truth I thought I was a pretty good person.

You must have thought when will those who do evil ever learn? They devour my good people like they are feasting at a buffet thinking if I take what is good from people it might give me the ability to do good myself. They don’t know that goodness comes from Me because they don’t know Me or would even think of praying to Me. Asking me what is good, how they can do good things.

Instead they read self help books and watch worthless people who say I know how to make you good. Even my son said “Only God is truly good.” My son knew that even if he was good it wasn’t because humans are good it was because I was The Good in him. So now fear will grip these humans. Fearful of getting caught, fearful of losing everything they built, everything they worked for because it wasn’t acquired from a good heart.

I know that God is only with those who obey Him. Darkness and light can’t co exist. You either have good in you that comes from God or you do not. It took me a long time to learn that if I was doing good it had to be with people I knew couldn’t even begin to repay my kindness because it wouldn’t be in their hearts to do so. I knew that a goodness that was from God did not just happen in order to get from people it came from an overflow of what God had given to me.

I see in this world how those with wickedness in their hearts wake up each day to frustrate the plans of the oppressed those that are already weak. Thinking to themselves how can I do bad things to good people and get away with it. How can I steal their hope, crush their faith, take what goodness remains, to teach them not to trust anyone let alone me. But I also know that the LORD will protect His people. Evil things may happen to God’s people but God will always bring good from them. He will use what was meant for harm for their good. And what was meant to harm will only cause God’s people to believe in Him even more. Their faith will abound.

I know this because He sent His son to rescue those who sought after God who sought to believe that He is real and we are His creation not people of this world. The LORD sent Jesus to restore His people to Him. To give us a living example of someone who lived to do good, who was good, and who did good things for people who could never pay him back for the things he did and like many of us experience in this world. The world took that goodness and kindness and devoured it thinking by killing him they could kill the message of hope that it is possible for a human being to Be good, Be kind, Be loving, Be gentle, Be peaceful, Be joyful, and wait patiently for God to act in a world that is none of these things.

Both our ancestors and descendants of Jacob shouted with joy at his arrival and every single person who believed that God is real and He did not abandon His people to be governed by the wicked alone rejoiced because even death did not destroy the light. It made it brighter and there was good to be found in this world because God is good in me. All glory, honor, praise and power are Yours forever and ever Father! Amen   

Prayer Based on Psalm 13

July 6 2020

In case You haven’t noticed the pattern, I have started to pray through Psalms because I feel like I have been speaking the same prayer every single day. To be honest I got bored with my prayer life. I just completed a bible study a few weeks ago that challenged to pray using Scripture. Speak the Word back to God. And I have to say it has made me think, made me to remember a time when I didn’t have God in my life.

So each day I take a Psalm and recall the things God has pulled me out from. I enjoy how David prays. He tells God from a human perspective how he feels in not so many words before he ends each prayer with what he knows- the hope and remembrance that God is greater than these things.

My enemy isn’t the people of this world. I am my own worst enemy. The enemy is in me. I set the boundaries in myself that prevent me from rising higher. What I forbid is forbidden and if I tell myself I can’t do something the odds are pretty high I won’t. I am the only one who can smooth talk myself into sin just as quickly as I can talk myself out of it.

I learned that the words I speak to myself are greater than any words people have spoken over me. When I take and repeat to myself what people have said to me I believe the worst of me but when I take what God has said over me and repeat that I can conquer giants, scale walls, overcome anything and everything.

Daily I fight the enemies of defeat, doubt, discouragement, depression, denial, deceit, distraction from my purpose. Daily I do battle and take captive my thoughts. I train them to keep my eyes fixed on His Word. John said the Word became flesh well guess what I bleed red too.

Jesus is the living breathing example of what a life could look like if we fixed our eyes not on our outward circumstance but on God. So I wake with gratitude when I want to complain. When I want to dwell on a past I no longer live in anymore, when I want to lay in bed and groan and moan about how I feel I fix my eyes on His Word through devotionals.

When I look in the mirror and feel as bad as I look I turn to the reminder of every single good thing I can think of to be grateful for. My book of remembrance is long my monument is covered with many stones. Each one representing a time when God did for me, what God gave to me, What God is doing in my life.

When there are things in my day that need to be done but I don’t “feel” like doing, I do them anyway and I sing praises to God that I am well able to do them. I celebrate my strength. I celebrate this gift of life God has given to me.

And when I could sit and think about all that is missing in my life how I wish it could be different I stop thinking of myself and I think of every person God has put in my life who doesn’t know Him. I think of family members who are cursed to walk this earth alone apart from God. I think of friends of faith who easily forget Him. I think of neighbors who live close and far. I even think of my sons’ friends. I pray blessings and coverings of protection, I pray for wisdom and favor and healing and wholeness.

And when all is said and done I pray to God for myself and for now it is through the book of Psalms. Because prayer is the most powerful thing I have. Words have power. Whether spoken to yourself or aloud and the most important voice I want to hear is nothing that this world would say to me I want to know what God has to say. Matthew 22:29, Mark 12:24

O Father, when I cannot feel Your presence with me it feels as though You have forgotten about me. But then I think this can’t be true, because I would never forget I have a son no matter what he has done or is doing my son he still is, he will always be.

A day without the awareness of Your presence feels like eternity. When I can’t hear Your Words I think where have You gone You said You are with me but I don’t’ feel You. When what I am dealing with requires a strength, endurance and perseverance that I know I don’t have. It is as though my soul is crying out in anguish like I am giving birth but not to a child to something new in my life.

When the sorrow for a loss makes me to believe my heart will stop beating, when it is too great I want it to stop. I look to You. Yet without Your Word to console me I hear nothing. Without Your Word to encourage me I see nothing. And every day I wake up it’s the same thing different day without Your Word because Your Word speaks life over me.

When I let myself believe the lies the enemy has spoken over me convinced me of that what the enemy has said is greater than Gods Word. That there is no God. That He will not save me. Father I turn to Your Word and I answer these lies with Your truth, for You are my Creator, my Maker, my LORD, my God! The clay is not greater than the Potter.

Restore the sparkle to my eyes I once knew when I lived to please You not people, to know You not this world. When I walked beside You on smooth paths near quite streams, where nothing and no one mattered to me but You. I know this flesh will die to this world that this dust will return to the dust it came from but my soul is Yours, You created it, You breathed life into it when I returned to You. I was dead to You once but now I am alive.

Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying “We have defeated him!” That last enemy I face is death but my life has already been won and if the worst that can happen to me is physical death well Your son proved it has no power or victory over me. I live for You in death or in life, this side of heaven or that side, my only will is Your will for me so if You want to pull me from this place that your son said Satan is the ruler of I say Let’s go!

There is nothing I cling to in this life that is more important than You. Don’t’ let my enemies rejoice at my downfall. For I put my trust in Your unfailing love for me. I rejoice as I have done so many times over in this life because You have rescued me, You will continue to rescue me because I have placed my confidence in Your truth not the enemies lies. I will respond to my enemies by singing praises to the LORD because You have been, You are and You will be so good to me. All Glory to God forever and ever! Amen

Prayer Based on Psalm 12